Dropped Stitches

An amazing and FREE diet resource

2012-01-07T21:19:00.001-05:00

So in my quest to be a better example for my children, cook better for the family, and generally improve my health I found an absolutely Amazing site. SparkPeople was founded because there weren't any good free diet resources on the web. Millions have used it and it has become a comprehensive diet/fitness site with an incredible community of supportive members.

I have been using the site for a week now and every day someone has written to offer me encouragement and support. I have used the site to track the amount of calories I am consuming each day and the number of miles I have walked. I've also figured out the amount of calories that are in a serving of a number of my recipes using their recipe analyzer. There are endless recipes, free exercise videos (which are geared toward the new and intermediate exerciser), message boards, health and fitness articles, and many resources about healthier eating.

I've used Weight Watchers Online in the past, and the Nutrition Tracker offered by SparkPeople is similar. I also am getting gobs more support than I got before (and even more support than I ever got at an actual Weight Watchers meeting). During the first phase of using the site you are encouraged to eat like you normally do to see where your calories are coming from; it's not until two weeks in that you actually start limiting your calories (though you can start early if you want). You are given goals to achieve each day, such as walking the dog, drinking 8 cups of water, getting 8 hours of sleep, etc. They are achievable and small; therefore, you don't feel like you are failing before you even begin. Goals are reviewed and added to over time so that you are continually adding more small steps which add up to more health and fitness.

SO, it's a great site, it's free, and you can be my friend (I'm ktcwmom). Check it out and save some money on those other diet programs AND succeed at the weight loss/fitness game!

I Got a Nook, Now I Have to Feed the Family Better

2011-12-29T23:20:00.000-05:00

My husband got me a Nook Tablet for Christmas! I asked for the Color, he got me the Tablet, and it is the shiz-ite. It comes with Hulu installed, and one morning when I couldn't sleep, I fired it up and watched "Supersize Me." Yes, I am a little behind the crowd here, having never seen it, and I've got to tell you, I found the movie horrifying.

Like the majority of Americans, I like fast food. I don't eat it every day, but I do eat it more than I should. A refresher for those of you who haven't seen the movie in a while: Spurlock ate McDonald's for every meal for a month. He had to have everything on the menu once. If they asked him, "would you like to supersize that?" he had to answer yes. In the process, he gained 24.5 lbs (11.1kg), his cholesterol went from a very healthy 168 to 240 (!), his liver profile showed signs of encroaching liver failure, he started spilling protein into his urine, and he experienced decreased energy, depression, lowered sex drive, and general ickiness.

Another disturbing part of the film was how fast food companies and lobbying groups grab our children's focus from the time they are wee ones so that fast food becomes a regular part of their lives and one they crave. In one scene, none of the children could identify a picture of Jesus, but all of them knew who Ronald McDonald was. Brand imprinting and loyalty lobbying is scary stuff and adversely affects the health of our families.

After watching "Supersize Me" I made a series of resolutions. First, when I take William out to eat I will look for restaurants with healthier food choices. The other day we went to Panera. On my little town, the only healthy fast food we have is Chipotle. Guess we'll be eating a lot of burritos.

Second, and I'm not sure how this is going to happen, meal toys have got to go. Rewarding a child for eating chicken nuggets and french fries has always seemed all higgeldy piggeldy to me. Instead, why don't we reward kids for trying new, healthy things? I gave William a Hot Wheels car when he tried apples. He didn't like them (it happened to be a REALLY sour apple), but he tried it. Then again, I can't bribe my kid to try all of his food, so again, I'll have to think this one out.

Third, when I cook I've got to go old school and get away from prepackaging or at least cut down on it. It's easier to cook with prepacked stuff, but it's not as healthy.

Fourth, "meat and two veg" is going to be my new mantra. This isn't going to be the easiest because there is very little meat that this family likes (we love beef, you'd think we were cattle ranchers), so on a lot of days, this will turn into "legume, grain, and two veg." To that end, when I do buy meat I will buy grain fed, antibiotic free, free range meat. Have you noticed how horrifying chicken tastes these days? I suppose if you live in a cage that you couldn't move in eating your own excrement and were pumped full of antibiotics constantly you'd taste bad, too. Fortunately, we live near a lot of Amish people so Amish free range chicken isn't hard to come buy, but it is a wee bit pricey.

Why is it that we have to spend more money to eat well? Why is it that Panera is SO much more expensive than McDonald's? It's not that eating healthier is really all that more difficult, but it does cost more.

So there you go. I've got my subscription to Taste of Home on my Nook and I'm going to see if they have any other healthy cooking with normal food magazines available. No braised baby sweetbreads with capers and cilantro (wouldn't that be terrible?!) for this family, this Bon Appetite is out.

And all of this because I got a Nook.

Joyeux Nöel (semi-wordless Wednesday)

2011-12-21T12:16:00.000-05:00

We are having a swampy Christmas in Central Ohio this year; it has left me dreaming of celebrating Christmas in a more picturesque setting. And what could be more lovely than Paris at Christmas?

La cathédrale de Notre Dame à Noël

Menu de Père Noël

Bûche de Noël

Les lumières de Noël de Paris

Tour Eiffel neigeux

Macaron à Noël? Pourquoi pas?

Christmas and the Introvert.

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

This may shock you (and I am also being a bit facetious), but I am a HUGE introvert. I'm a Myers-Briggs INFJ, which is like the height of introversion. Christmas is not the easiest time of year for me. Please don't misunderstand me. I love to give presents and watch the kids rip into their packages. I Love celebrating the birth of my Savior. My nativity, passed down from my grandmother to my mom to me is one of my most valued possessions. I have an inordinate love of Christmas music (if you have Spotify, look up my Christmas list. It's not mixed well, but it has songs I love on it, there's a bit of everything, and there's 7 hours of music). I love the lights and decorations and fluffy snowfalls.

But here's the thing about Christmas. The shops become overwhelmingly crowded. Everyone is out finding the perfect gift. Black Friday is positively frightening. The pace becomes more frenetic. Then there are the parties. If you are an extrovert it is important to understand that parties are a bit like putting a toe into the lake of hell for the introvert. We aren't especially good at the schmooze. We can't stand being interrupted, not because we are offended but because it makes us feel undervalued, and this happens quite frequently at gatherings. There are lots and lots of people, some who will probably be obnoxious and drunk. This is true even if you are friends with everyone who will be at the party. Parties are exhausting. I spend my time at the daydreaming about being at home knitting.

My daughter is the polar opposite of me in that she is the most extroverted extrovert in the world. She thrives on being surrounded by people and needs to be always busy. She can't be silent. And if she has to be, she texts. When Christmas rolls around and she gets to decorate she tends to go into overdrive. For the most introverted introvert this can be a bit overwhelming. This year, I let her do her thing with her boyfriend and William and hid in my bedroom.

Introverts need to take special care to make time for themselves during the holidays. This is a time of reflection, grace, love, and miracles; we introverts need to be still and quiet to appreciate the wonder of this season. The best Christmases I have ever had weren't rushed or over-scheduled, my shopping was done well in advance of the crowds, adequate time was spent in the morning opening presents and savoring the day before family visits were even considered, and, imagine this, I took a nap.

This time of year is too special to be dreaded. There was a time that I really didn't like Christmas because I was thrust into situations that are too much for any introvert. It wasn't until I realized how to be an introvert at Christmas and not compromise my needs that Christmas became alive for me.

Knitterly Christmasy Goodness

2011-12-17T13:00:00.001-05:00

I have been a knitting fool this Christmas season. I have finished a mystery project (can't speak of it as recipient reads the blog) and two hats that came out so fab! The first is the Jacques Cousteau hat, chosen first because of the cool decrease pattern on the crown and second because the recipient will appreciate that it is the Jacques Cousteau hat.

by Hestia6

It was an easy knit and I love the crown so much that this may be my go to hat pattern from now on.

I also made the Striped Hat from Debbie Bliss Knitting, Fall/Winter 2011. It is shown on a woman, but I made it for a boy. It is a slouchy hat and really on trend and a really quick knit. I didn't make it as long as the pattern called for because I didn't want it to look like Goofy's hat, and I'm happy with the way it came out.

I used Knit Picks Wool of the Andes and I LOVE it! I am a total Knit Picks convert. Great low prices, quality yarns, fast shipping, a huge variety of colors, what's not to love? I find myself stroking the hats because they are so alpaca soft. I am in love.

I have cast on Somerset vs. Norway, a gorgeous set of Norwegian design mittens featuring hares. I am using some of the Knit Picks yarns that I bought with chocolate brown as the background color and avacado green as the pattern color. This is my first set of these mittens and I am excited.

by Nethya

And some future project ideas:

If I get some cash for Christmas it is earmarked to go toward a Season 14 Doctor Who scarf (it's the shortest, at 8-10 feet long). From my elementary years, when I would run home to watch Dr. Who on PBS, I have coveted this scarf. It is the ENTIRE reason that I learned how to knit. I've been knitting around 10 years now, but do I have my cherished scarf to show for it? No, dear reader, I do not. It is time to remedy this situation. I will be using the Original Pattern from Chris Brimelow's DrWhoScarf.com. The Witty Little Knitter also has a great database for knitters wishing to make The Scarf.

I have some Brown Sheep Company chunky wool/nylon blend in a sunny yellow and black. It was earmarked for a new earflap hat for Will, but the hat is too tight and William has taken to wearing a prefab OSU hat that looks quite natty. So I have decided to make myself some slippers out of the frogged yarn. After searching and searching for a pattern that resembled moccasins I found these Non-Felted Slippers done by Yuko Nakamura. I love Japanese knits. They tend to be so clean and streamlined. Again, I'm excited about these!

And finally, a Great stash-busting project!

This is for all those bits and bobs of worsted weight wool that you have lying around OR the striped and solid color sweaters that you bought to frog but found that the yarn was too worn or itchy or lacy. It's The Ron Weasley Blanket and you don't have to be a Harry Potter fan to understand it's glory. Composed of mismatched randomly striped and solid 7in squares attached 8 across and 10 down, it should fit any bed you wish to place it on. And think of how warm it would be if you backed it with flannel or velvet and did a tied quilt. I would truly be an heirloom piece.

Here's Ron with his blanket at Hogwarts

This is Keri's Won Won Blanket

So there you go. Happy knitting. I hope I've given you all some inspiration and the push to pick up the sticks!

I Love You All, Thank You So Much

2011-12-15T18:08:00.005-05:00

I would like to offer a very heartfelt

to all of my readers.

Your outpouring of condolences after Ellie's death made the adjustment to life without her easier.

How could I have thought for even a second that I would quit blogging?

It is moments like these that help me remember how wonderful this community is.

I truly love all of you.

We got her back today. This poem, which has meant so much to me in the past, was given to me by the kind people at Rutherford Funeral home in Columbus, OH.

Goodbye, Ellie Belly

2011-12-13T14:29:00.001-05:00

This is going to be a difficult post. Remember the puppy that I complained about having in our house because it was supposed to be my daughter's but I was the one taking care of it? Well, she became my dog and despite being a bad dog I have never loved a dog so much in my life. She just turned 18 months old.

She chewed up Everything she could get to. She destroyed one of our chairs, countless shoes, many of William's toys, and anything else that seemed chewable to her. She escaped from the house on many occasions and got into multiple neighbor's trash. She domineered over our beagle, who completely gave up ever having a dog toy of her own.

But she would curl up in my lap and tilt her head just so. She was a dachshund/cocker spaniel mix so was little, but I think she would have killed anyone who tried to do anything to any member of our family. A few days ago when I was trying to get our beagle, Carly, to come to me, she looked at me, ran to Carly, chomped onto her ear and tried to drag her to me. She was too smart for her own good. She could jump up until her eyes were level with mine and was the fastest dog I have ever seen. She was soft and loved to have her belly scratched. She loved to lick my nose. I loved her.

On Sunday before church she made one of her escapes and ran right into the path of a van. I saw the whole thing. And there was nothing I could do. She tried to pick up her head once and then she was dead. The couple was so apologetic, but it wasn't their fault. She just ran right in front of them. I hugged the woman, who was horrified, and sent them on their way. And then I wrapped up my Ellie in a towel and sat on the porch holding her and sobbing for about an hour. A local funeral home took her to be cremated and the men who met me there held me while I pet and said goodbye to her. My son sat on my lap and held me for hours while we both cried. He loved her, too.

I miss my bad dog. I haven't been in this big of a funk about losing a pet in years and years. Carly is confused and alternates between sniffing around for Ellie and looking at me like I can explain where Ellie went. She wont leave my side. She still won't go near the pet toys. They were never hers.

I loved you so much, little Ellie. Wait for me across the bridge. I can't wait to scratch your belly again.

Disenchanted with my Blog

2011-12-07T17:05:00.004-05:00

So I am having a difficult time writing new posts. I am disenchanted. I started blogging with such zeal. Now, after four years, I feel stagnant and a bit tired of it all. About a year ago, I spent up to 12 hours a day working on the blog, commenting, doing blog hops, working with sponsors, etc. Back then, I got up to 30 comments with each post. I was on top of the blogging world. Except I was bitterly unhappy in MY world, my children made comments about mom never being off of the computer, my husband knew that in between cooking and cleaning I wouldn't be available to anything but the blog.

Then I got my head together and my priorities in order. I started spending lots of time with other people. I wasn't rolling in angst. Sure, there are worse days than other, but by and large I am able to manage my psyche pretty well. I quit responding to 50 blogs a day. I no longer participate in blog hops. Instead of writing posts about how difficult life can be, I write recipes and observations. And I've lost readers, comments are down, I have no sponsors.

At some point I had to face the fact that blogging simply is not going to pay the bills. God bless those who have been able to turn it into a career, but just like any form of media blogging is competitive and the people with the money like other bloggers more than me. So then if blogging isn't going to be my job it is a hobby and it should be fun, enjoyable, something I look forward to doing.

But lately it isn't. I realize I haven't posted for days and I don't have a problem with it mostly because it feels so "blah." I would like to get my blogging mojo back; I think I maintain a good space. So help me, my blogging friends. What do you do when you want to call it quits? How do you get the spark back? How do you banish the disenchantment and start with new vigor?

Save some Cash on Glasses - Buy them Online

2011-11-30T13:54:00.004-05:00

This IS NOT a sponsored post. You see, I have the Medical Card, and while I am grateful for the medical care and eye care that it provides, one on the Medical Card rarely has much choice when it comes to glasses at the Optometrist. And while my Optometrist offers a discount on non-Medicaid approved frames for those that want to look a bit more stylish, glasses are still above $100 dollars and thus out of our price range.

Imagine my happiness when I learned that one can obtain glasses at steeply discounted prices online. All you need is your lens prescription and you are off to the races. I decided to go with EyeBuyDirect, but there are any number of places that you can buy from such as Frames Direct which has a huge selection of designer frames, 39 Dollar Glasses where glasses start at, you guessed it, $39, and Glasses Market.

There were a TON of styles to choose from but the sites make the work easier by letting you narrow down choices by shape, size, color, plastic, metal, etc, fully rimmed, rimless, etc, and price. They all have a tool where you can upload a picture (or use one of their models, which doesn't seem all that helpful to me) and "try on" different glasses. Here's my photo of the glasses I chose:

They are called "Cad" and with shipping and a new customer discount cost me just above $30.00. Thirty Dollars! You will have to add more for features like anti-glare, UV protection, transition lenses, ultra-thin, bifocals, etc., but the prices are still less that I have ever paid out of pocket for a pair of glasses (for the record, I had corrective eye surgery in 1998, when I was considered legally blind. I know how much ultra thin lenses with funky prisms, etc, cost. After I had William, my vision got blurry again, thus the new need for glasses).

I'm supposed to get the glasses in about 14 days. I'll let you know more about them when I actually get them. Thus far, however, the process has been easy and fun, and at prices like these, why not buy several different pairs and have an eye glasses wardrobe? More to come!

Some Quotes, Some Hymns

2011-11-27T18:51:00.004-05:00

I've always loved those stylized quotes that you find all over pinterest and decided to try my hand at a few of my own. This first one sits in front of my computer on a small plaque that was given to me by my mom during one of the darkest stages of my depression.

The Little Prince is a book that amazes me every time I read it. As a child it was a cool adventure with a sad ending. As an adult it plumbs the depths of our souls and speaks truths that are difficult to put into words.

This is from my favorite prayer. If you are a long-time reader, you may have noticed that I admire Mother Teresa greatly.

This song just slays me. Right to the heart.

I grew up Methodist. The doxology is part of me. It may be my favorite hymn (besides "In The Garden," which I like to sing with a country twang, and "The Old Rugged Cross," which I used to sing to William when I was nursing him).

That's all I have for tonight. If you've never designed one of these, you crafty bloggers you, I encourage you to do so. It's lots of fun. What would your picture-quote say?

Strawberry Bavarian Cream Cake

2011-11-25T17:11:00.006-05:00

The leftover-day-after-Thanksgiving dinner is over; I made turkey sloppy joes and they were great. But that's not what you are here for, so here we go!

Like I said in the last post, I saw a Strawberry Bavarian Cream Cake on $40 a Day with Rachael Ray and got the inspiration for this cake. It's sloppy but easy to make, and there are several ways that you can construct it.

You will need:

Butter cake mix

Butter cream frosting (optional, read recipe to help you decide)

2 packages of strawberries

1 can Thank You brand vanilla pudding

1 small container of Kool Whip

2 cups powdered sugar

1. Bake cake as per package directions in round cake tins (this is a layer cake). Let cool completely.

2. While cake is cooling, combine entire can of pudding, an equal portion of Kool Whip, and the 2 cups of powdered sugar. This is your Bavarian Cream.

3. Also while cake is cooling slice one container of strawberries and cut off the leaves from the other package.

4. After cake has cooled, take one of your layers and remove a shallow bowl shaped section from the top of the cake. Pour about half of the cream mixture into this section. Then top with sliced strawberries

5. Place second layer on top of first.

Here's where your options come in. At this point you can either

A. Frost cake with butter cream frosting (messy but do-able; just make sure you fill in the entire space between the two layers with frosting) and top cake with remaining strawberries. Refrigerate if not serving immediately. This will help harden the cream a bit.

B. Pour the remaining cream mixture over the cake and top with strawberries (you will have to chill this cake until the cream is harder if you aren't going to serve the cake immediately).

It is super good and drew rave reviews. My son ate close to 3/4 of the cake over the course of yesterday and today and everyone else ate the rest and was satisfied with their servings. Let me know what you think!

Thanksgiving Aftermath

2011-11-24T21:31:00.003-05:00

istock photos

Thanksgiving dinner is over, my parents and aunt have gone home, all is well. We actually ended up eating with very little turkey as my turkey breast was quite on the pink side even though the meat thermometer said it was done. With all of the side dishes the lack of turkey wasn't missed.

Which means that I have a huge amount of leftover turkey. This isn't a problem that I'm used to dealing with and I'll be trolling the recipe sites for leftover turkey suggestions that go beyone sandwiches, tetrazini, and hash. Anyone out there have any great recipes?

The dessert was met with much enthusiasm. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I decided that I would make her a strawberry bavarian cream cake. I saw one on $40 a Day with Rachael Ray and thought "I could make that" and the rest is culinary history. My son ate about half of it and everyone else raved. I'll share the recipe with you soon!

istock photo

I also served blueberry cobbler, which my dad took home, kentucky derby pie (super recipes for this are available all over the web; I left out the bourbon), and pumpkin pie (which didn't get eaten at all). It was nice to sit at the table with my parents and aunt chatting for hours, watching everyone enjoy my cooking. I really do enjoy hosting Thanksgiving, even though it is a lot of cooking.

I hope you all had wonderful holidays and to all of you braving Black Friday, Good Luck and Godspeed!

Love

2011-11-20T00:15:00.001-05:00

Love has a hem to her garment
That reaches the very dust.
It sweeps the stains
From the streets and lanes,
And because it can, it must.

-Mother Teresa

Cassoulet a Faux-Faux

2011-11-16T18:38:00.001-05:00

Alright. So this isn't really a cassoulet. You don't bake it, it's a one-skillet dish. And there's no duck confit; instead smoked sausage and prosciutto add depth of flavor. BUT it utilizes classic elements of French cooking such as a mirepoix (a blend of carrot, celery, and onion), thyme, bay leaves, there are beans, and so it's a sort of faux cassoulet. A cassoulet a faux-faux!

You will need:

One length of smoked sausage, sliced in bite sized pieces
8 oz of finely diced prosciutto
1-8 oz can of tomato sauce (NOT Italian, plain tomatoes)
1-8 oz can of cannellini or Great White Northern beans
1-8 oz can of navy beans
1 large carrot, peeled and sliced
2 ribs of celery, sliced
1 small red onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, finely diced
2 bay leaves
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp black pepper
1 TBSP dried parsley
Salt to taste

Make it:

1. Saute carrots, celery, onion, garlic, and prouscioutto in a dollop of olive oil until onion start to clear.

2. Add smoked sausage and continue to fry until the sausage starts to render its juices into the pan, about 5 minutes.

3. Add everything else (except salt) to the pan, stir, cover, and simmer for about 15 minutes.

4. Remove the bay leaves and salt to taste.

I like to serve this with naan or a similar flat bread to sop up all of the delicious tomato sauce from the bowl. Hope you enjoy it!

Yarn shopping plans and a kitchen update

2011-11-14T15:33:00.001-05:00

So the dishwasher and garbage disposal or in BUT the dishwasher was plugged into the same line as the garbage disposal and, therefore, the dishwasher cannot be run unless the disposal is on, too. It will be fixed very soon, I am assured. So today I had to do a HUGE load of dishes by hand. I also have been engulfed in moving around everything in the kitchen since I lost a large cabinet and drawer and have to find a place to put all of the displaced bowls and mixing spoons. The kitchen is still a bit typhoonish, so no picture yet.

I also was given the green light to go YARN SHOPPING(!) Hubs is letting me go buy expensive yarn store yarn for a few Christmas presents. I am so excited! I have a randomly striped scarf, ssimple pattern, in grey tones and a Jacques Cousteau hat in mind (but not in red, probably also in a coal or slate grey), but I can't say for whom. I think I'm going to use Brown Sheep Company yarn, but of course I will have to check out all of my options! I'm also involved in another project that I can't say a thing about but you can get details on Ravelry (I'm droppedstitches72, feel free to friend me!). Will post some photos of YARN after I go shopping!

What are you knitting right now? I'd love to know!

Marysville Horror Story

2011-11-12T12:58:00.001-05:00

About 4 months ago a church friend of ours found a brand new FREE dishwasher and asked my husband if we were interested in it. My 1961 kitchen wasn't built with a dishwasher in it so for the last 10 years we've been doing the dishes old school- by hand. Things also tend to break in old homes and ours is no exception. We haven't had a garbage disposal for about 7 months and have had to close off that side of the sink because there was a large leak below the dead disposal. We've had a new disposal for several months but it hasn't been installed for one reason or another.

Today is installation day. The sink and area where the dishwasher will go has been gutted. The entire kitchen looks like a tornado went through it. And it's dusty and dirty. Just look at those pictures- I know, they are scary!

BUT, I will feel like I am living in the lap of luxury when the job is done. No more hand washing the dishes! A working garbage disposal! Two sides of the sink to work with! I'll make sure to share photos of the finished product.

11/11/11 wishes

2011-11-11T16:52:00.003-05:00

what have you wished for?

An end to hunger?

a happy child?

a PS3?

a college degree?

someone to love?

a Dodge Viper?

Happy Holidays?

a writing gig?

Whatever you have wished for,

may all your wishes come true

Photographs of Beautiful Camp Wilson

2011-11-08T09:37:00.003-05:00

At the beginning of October I attended a women's church retreat at Bellefountaine, Ohio's Camp Wilson. I had heard a lot about the camp from my son who attended summer camp for a week there; he thought it was fantastic. I was excited to have a bit of time away from the homestead and a bit of time for contemplation and it turned out that this little patch of Ohio was the perfect spot for a mommy time out.

We had our teaching, social times, and camp activities (I learned that with a bit of practice I might be a pretty fair archer), but what I loved the most was the time that I found to walk and wander the property, which was gorgeous. The lake was one of the most peaceful places I have been in a long time. Usually when I attend a retreat I am itching to get home. This time, though, I could have used a bit more time to enjoy this slice of heaven here on earth.

My Cowboy

2011-11-05T17:17:00.001-04:00

I'm a little late on the Halloween post due to Dad Days, but here is my boy, all decked out in his cowboy gear. He looks like he belongs in the 50s with Howdy Doody. Do I have to tell you that I love it?

A Special Thanks to all Dad Days Bloggers!

2011-11-04T17:00:00.000-04:00

I'd like to take a moment to offer up a special "Thank You" to all of the fathers who were guest posters here on Dropped Stitches during the month of October. The entire success of Dad Days is due to the blogging dads who were generous enough to contribute their work to the blog.

Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow

Ben Moffat of The Angry Scot

Justin Mannato, writer of Daddy Knows Less

Barry Silver of A Life Well Lived Concludes with a Smile

Mark Perlman (not pictured), from an excerpt of the book Caring For Your Newborn

Richard Monroe, author of The Butterbottom Blog

Steve Birkett of Above The Static

Matthew Peregoy, The Real Matt Daddy

John Willey, writer of Daddy's in Charge?

Alex Walsh, author of Daddacool

and

Josh Solar of The Happy Family Movement

To all of you

My Father Figures: My Step-Dad (but really my Dad), Mark Seelbach

2011-11-03T17:43:00.004-04:00

My parents were divorced when I was 4. Bad divorce. That's all I'm going to say. After a few years we moved to the West side of Columbus, to the now super scary but then amazingly wonderful Lincoln Village, a huge apartment complex where my grandparents lived. Until I was 9 it was mom and me. I guess we were living hand to mouth, but I never knew it. My mom worked hard to provide for us and childhood was good.

She liked to eat at Bob Evans and one day a waitress that she knew introduced her to another diner. They hit it off and started dating. Then one day he came over for dinner and I could not get over this wierd guy that mom had invited over. Then I went with mom to his bachelor apartment where I noticed he had Omni magazine, which, at the time, I thought was like Playboy, and I was mortified. But he turned out to be okay (and for those of you that don't know, Omni is a now defunct but iconic sci fi magazine, which said a lot about Mark Seelbach, though I didn't know it at the time) and one day in November 1981 they got married and I had a stepdad.

Mark had no children. He wasn't used to shy, sensitive pre-adolescent girls but he did the best he could. In time, I figured out that he was pretty shy, too, and geeky. He liked jazz music, which I hadn't paid much attention to before then, and played the trumpet. We started going to the Methodist church because he grew up Methodist (in Youngstown, OH, which has an interesting population of Polish, German, and Italian people mostly, so I was introduced to Perogies, red cabbage, and all variety of German sausage). I now love good funky jazz, I still consider myself Methodist, and I LOVE brats and saurkraut.

When computers came to the forefront in the late 80's he started working for the software industry, which began a lifelong love of computers and technology. Yes, my dad is a geek. A big one. He loves Star Trek and Dr. Who, collects vintage toys particularly GI Joes and those with a sci fi theme. My mom loves the geek stuff, too, and I was being molded, so when we went to the Dr. Who convention when I was in Middle School it was quite a moment. Did I mention he loves computers? He currently works as an auditor (he has a degree in accounting), but the computer love is not going away.

He has been a wonderful father to me. He really would do anything for me. When I need him, he's there. I know that he's proud of me, even though he hasn't said it in so many words. He doesn't say things like that, those emotional type things, but with all of the caring and everything he's done for me over the years, I know. You know what I mean?

Baseball, Dads, and Growing Up (A Guest Post from Josh Solar)

2011-10-28T21:00:00.005-04:00

Josh Solar is our guest today. He is one half of The Happy Family Movement, an amazing website that aims to help families live a great life together. Fittingly, today he talks about the bonds formed through baseball.

Memories. You know the ones. All the wonderful memories you created with Dad. All the baseball. The trips to the amusement park in Albuquerque when mom was in some sort of training. The soccer & basketball & swimming (yes, lots of sports). Sneaking food into your room when mom sent you to bed without dinner because you wouldn't quit talking back. I'm sure your memories of Dad vary from mine, but you get the point.

For me, baseball with my dad was IT. The moment I could walk, I'm pretty sure my dad was throwing whiffle balls to me and teaching me how to properly field a ground ball. Watching the Dodgers on TV, eating all sorts of junk food. Most of my favorite memories of my dad involve baseball in some way or another. Especially the time we got to actually go to a Dodgers game and I got to try the world famous Dodger Dog for the first time (Note: It lived up to the hype!). I remember how excited I was when my dad took me to the Dodger store so I could buy all the World Series memorabilia after they won the World Series in 1988… you know, the year when Kirk Gibson hit that home run on one leg.

Now that I'm a dad, I think back to all the things my dad did with me and how they influence the way I raise my son. He's 6 and he LOVES baseball. Every day after school, we either head to the ball park so I can pitch to him, or we just play baseball in the street (we live on a cul-de-sac so it's safe). I'd like to think that my time spent playing baseball with Max will lead to some of life's most important lessons. Patience. Teamwork. The importance of putting in hard work to master a certain skill set. Hustle. Never give up. Be ready for whatever may come your way. Pride (I feel a great deal of pride when he rips a line drive over my head and I see that big 'ol grin as he's proud of himself).

Playing baseball with my son brings me back to all the time spent with my dad. I'm constantly reminded of the impact we have on these young, beautiful little human beings. As a dad, just being there, being PRESENT for your kids, attentive, listening, laughing with them, LOVING them with your whole heart. That's a big deal. I know, at some point, he'll be out on his own. He'll fall in love. Have kids of his own. And when it comes time to play with his kids, I want him to remember all the wonderful things WE did together. To love his family with his whole heart, and pass those same life lessons on to his kiddos.

Reconciling Beliefs or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Christ.(A Guest post from Dustin Christian)

2011-10-26T14:04:00.004-04:00

Another post from Dustin Christian of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow. Today he talks about reconciling the differences in his wife's and his faith and beliefs.

Reconciling Beliefs or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Christ

To me, “Christian” is nothing more than my last name. It's a last name that my wife loves because it's applied to her for as long as she can remember, but it's just a name to me.
Rhonda grew up with God as a constant presence in her life. I grew up unsure if God even exists.
I wasn't raised as an Atheist – most of my family considers themselves Christians (the church kind, not the last name kind) and would probably answer the classic question “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?” with an automatic, knee-jerk yes.
I've been to church, I even know the Lord's prayer by heart, but I've always been the type to question everything and forge my own path. Most church leaders I met didn't like it when a kid constantly questioned their faith, even if I was just trying to understand and reconcile what I saw as inconsistencies. Being constantly told to sit down and shut up, and seeing hypocrites like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker on the television (and hearing about the worst kept secret of pedophile priests) left me full of distrust and disdain for organized religion in general and evangelical Christians in particular.

I went from being Christian by default to agnostic to atheist to... undefined. I've studied and dabbled in other religions, faiths, and philosophies, and developed my own spiritual ideas. I could write thousands of words on the subject, but I now call myself an open-minded agnostic, for the sake of simplicity. I tend to believe there is probably a higher power, but I don't think it matters what you call that higher power – or if you even decide to call that power anything at all – as long as you try to be the best person you can possibly be.

I've never reconciled myself with closed-minded hypocrites of any faith, however. I doubt any one faith has all the answers, and they have to many commonalities to dismiss each other out of hand.

I'd reached the open-minded agnostic, live-and-let-live stage by the time I met Rhonda. But people who were extremely vocal about their faith still made me nervous, and Rhonda definitely wears her faith on her sleeve. As someone with such strong faith, she had never even considered spending her life with somebody who didn't share that faith. And, since we both had kids, any relationship had to beviewed with a consideration towards long-term implications.

While we were very interested in each other, religion was a potential deal-breaker.

When we talked about what we really believed, though, we found that we actually agreed on most things. Rhonda was raised in a Christian family in a heavily Christian small town, but had her own ideas about what was right and what was wrong. While she was without a doubt a Christian, she could see the value in other belief systems and agreed that, as long as they were focused on trying to bethe best person you could be, they were on the right track.
I believe that we've come to the same point from different paths. If I had been raised going to church every Sunday, I'd probably have a lot more faith. If she was raised away from church, she'd probably be a lot more skeptical – though I hope not as cynical as I am. I know that we've influenced each other. I've made Rhonda question things more and consider life from perspectives other than the Christian viewpoint, and she has caused me to have more faith and become more spiritual.

But I digress.

No matter how much we might agree, there was still the big question – once we were sure that ours was a long-term relationship – of how we would raise our children. Rhonda had never considered anything other than raising her kids as Christians and, while I had moved past my issues with Christianity, I wasn't comfortable with my kids being taught that there was only one way. Besides, I'm still not comfortable with a lot of the “morals” that many Christians profess.
In the end, we decided that the boys will make up their own minds about faith and religion. It's inevitable that Christianity will be the first thing they're exposed to. In this country (and particularly this state), they'll also be exposed to Christianity most often. I'm not looking forward to the day when I have to contradict some of the things the boys will hear (especially from their grandfather who is born-again and thus insists there's no other way to be), but at least I can do that without getting angry. I'm sure there will be bigger fights over the racism and homophobia they'll eventually hear from Rhonda's uncles and other bigots.

Rhonda had the idea of taking them to mosques, temples, and gatherings of other faiths, and I would love to do that – if they show interest. I'm not forcing anything on them. If and when they have questions, we'll answer them as openly and honestly as we know how. I hope it can wait long enough that they'll be able to grasp why Mommy and Daddy don't believe exactly the same things, but we'll do what we must.

The most important thing I can teach my kids is that everyone is different, and different ideas are not only okay – they're essential.

The Challenges of Fatherhood (A guest post by Alex Walsh)

2011-10-25T10:07:00.003-04:00

Today's contributor is Alex Walsh, the publisher of the blog Daddacool (which is listed #8 in Cision's Top 10 UK Daddy Blogs). Today he touches on some of the challenges of fatherhood.

So this Daddy lark then. Has it changed me? Well I’m now capable of wiping someone elses bottom, which is something I never thought I’d be able to do. I barely enjoy wiping my own to be honest. The same goes for sick, I never thought I’d have a poorly toddler clasped to me when they chose to vomit down my back. To this day I remember the walk to the bathroom with chunks of sick worrying their way between my buttocks. And of course, there is the claim to fame I have in my twitter profile that elicits a lot of amusing chortles: Super powers include walking over Lego barefoot AND feeling NO pain!

Of course the experiences are only a small part of it really, and even the rather unsavoury ones have their upside- having a poorly child cling to you because they find you reassuring is special, even if the acidic smell of sick is burning your nostrils.

There are always challenges to being a Dad, and they’re not always the ones you’d expect. I always found little wriggly babies both incredibly delicate and incredibly strong at the same time. I clearly remember getting more frustrated than a newborn in my attempts to get a sleep suit on a baby. I also remember vividly the wrench at leaving my wife alone and confused after my two weeks paternity leave had finished. I even wrote about it for a national newspaper here in England.

And the lack of sleep, oh my goodness the lack of sleep. The boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was one but his little sister Fifi, still doesn’t sleep properly and she’ll be three in January. She was still waking up twice in the night until she was two, and after that she insisted on getting up at around 5am. Enough to make you weep tears of exhaustion.

I like to think that Claire and I are a team though. She might have been the one to carry the kids and give birth to them but I was the one who accidentally ensured that some heavy metal was playing during at least one of the deliveries. I try to do my fair share of the good stuff and the unpleasant stuff, be it bedtime routine and stories (which I always try to be home from work for) to taking them for their immunizations. The biggest challenge I have is not lowering myself to their level when it comes to playing games. I find it really easy to empathise with the children, particularly the boy.

I think though, the thing for me that sums up being a Dad perfectly is one of those days I come home to be met at the front door by the boy. He has a worried look on his face, mingled with a slight trace of worry. He gives me something precious to him that’s been broken and has complete faith in me to make everything all right. It’s a fairly well placed faith as far as he’s concerned. When we were lucky enough to go on holiday to Lake Garda, Italy, we spent hours walking around a fortified walled city. When we got back to the hire car, he said, “Where’s bunny?” We had 20 minutes on the parking meter left and he had lost his most precious cuddly toy in a walled city. I ran off at speed and came back 17 minutes later with his bunny. He was unconcerned, because I was his Daddy and he had complete trust in me to make things okay. And that is what it means to me to be a Daddy.

Time Sure Goes By Fast (A guest post by John Willey)

2011-10-25T08:00:00.001-04:00

John Willey is the author of Daddy's In Charge? and one of this year's Parents.com Best Dad Blog Award Nominees. Check out his Lego movies (starring everyone from Chuck Norris to Spiderman) which record his singular views on fatherhood.

"Time sure goes by fast, huh Daddy?" - my son Tyler

Yeah Tyler, it sure does.

It seems just like like yesterday I was sitting outside the operating room crying hysterically both scared to death and happy all in the same moment. Scared to death that your mother was having an emergency C section but also happy because it meant that you were on your way out. I was also scared to death because my life would change forever, I was now going to be a dad, and I had no idea what that was actually going to mean. Time sure does go by fast, I remember the first night you were home from the hospital, you were crying your little eyes out and we had no idea what the problem was. The only thing that we could think of was to put a binky in your mouth, it worked wonders. It still took you a long time until you slept through the night, but look at you now, you sleep like such a big kid, although you could go to bed on your own sometimes.

Time sure goes by fast, I can remember sitting in your bedroom late one night and you rolled yourself from your back to your front. It was just you and me and I thought that nothing could be better than that moment. Then you started to crawl, albeit like a wounded army man, and you could now get around on your own. You didn't need me to carry you everywhere. Look at you now, you are faster than a speeding bullet and you run everywhere you go. We have had a lot of nights like that one in your bedroom, a lot of great moments.

Time sure does go by fast, you used to need us to read everything to you. You didn't know your ABC's or how to count to ten. But you figured that all out, you turned into such a smart little kid. The smartest in fact! You used to just scribble everything, before you knew how to write or draw. But look at you now, look at what in incredible artist you are. You amaze me everyday with that little brain of yours.

Time does go by fast, you used to be the only baby that we had. It used to be only you, but then along came Carter. We had an idea that you would be a great big brother, but seeing how you are with him, you really turned into the best big brother in the whole world. He loves you so much! You have gotten to be such an awesome little kid in these past seven years and you grew up so fast, it makes me wonder sometimes where it all went.

"Time sure goes by fast huh daddy? I came into your room at 6:30, (fell back asleep) and now its already 7:45. How did that happen?"

I have no idea Tyler, I have no idea.

Redefining the Definition of "Fatherhood" (a guest post by Matthew Peregoy)

2011-10-22T12:29:00.005-04:00

Today's second article is by Matt Peregoy, The Real Matt Daddy. He lives with his family in Gettysburg, PA. He gave up a 70 hour work week for a national retailer to be a stay-at-home dad for his daughter and is married to a wonderful woman who "trusts me enough to give this experiment a try while she goes back to work full time." Today he talks about men who are redefining the definition of "fatherhood."

First, I want to thank Erin for featuring dads on her blog. We don’t always get the attention we deserve (and that’s okay with most of us), and we certainly haven’t been painted in a good light by the media over the past several decades. I don’t have to tell you about the stereotypes that the media uses to categorize men and fathers. Just watch Fox on Sunday night. The thing that most concerns me, is what is being done to stop the negative connotation of the words “dad,” “husband” and even “stay-at-home dad.” The only "thing" that is going to change the minds of people and the media is dads becoming more engaged with their families. For many families, that might mean a job change or a "role swap" where dad stays home and mom goes to work. As a stay-at-home father, I felt like I was making a huge sacrifice to walk away from a career to stay at home with my daughter. It was providing, but in a different way than is traditional in America. It took me a while to be okay with that, and the key to wrapping my head around it was finding support from other guys that are doing the very same thing. So, in an effort to help change the negative stereotypes that dads face, I wanted to take the opportunity to let you know about several men that are fighting to get the good image of dad back by defending and advocating for involved fathers everywhere.

Al Watts

President, Daddyshome, Inc

Al has been an at-home dad for 8 years and has four children ages two to eight. He is the President of Daddyshome, Inc. a non-profit organization that provides support, education and advocacy for dads who are their children’s primary caregiver. In addition to his work with Daddyshome, Inc., Al also writes for Momaha.com. Al was largely responsible, along with Dr. Aaron Rochlen, for getting TIME Magazine’s online affiliate “Healthland” to change the headline and URL of a story that claimed, “Stay-At-Home Dads Are More Likely to Divorce” (the URL was worse!). The editors of the story had an angle, and they used a study that was completely unrelated to make a wide generalization that the study’s own data did not support. Through Al’s work, the headline and eventually that URL were changed to more accurately reflect the data in the study that “Unemployed Men Are More Likely to Divorce” not stay-at-home dads. You can read about the entire situation on the Daddy’s Home Blog HERE.

Dr. Aaron Rochlen
Associate Professor in Counseling Psychology University of Texas at Austin

Dr. Rochlen is a licensed psychologist, and a married father of two. His research has focused on men and masculinity, including men’s barriers to help-seeking, men and depression, and men in non-traditional family roles. He has published several studies on stay-at-home fathers and their families, and has appeared as the keynote speaker at several at-home dad conventions. His work has appeared on The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MSNBC.com and in publications like The New York Times and USA Today. Dr. Rochlen’s work is unique in that it studies the relationships of families with a male in a non-traditional role such as an at-home father, a nurse, or a elementary school teacher. His research is helping us understand why more men are rejecting traditional roles in our society, the impact those decisions have on their families, and what we, as a society, can learn from this shift. For more of Dr. Rochlen’s work, you can read the following articles: A Q&A With At-Home Fathers, A Recent Article for Yahoo.com, and Honey, I’m Home – Stay-at-Home Dads’ psychological well-being guaged in this new study.

Bruce Sallan
BruceSallan.com

Bruce is a one-of-a-kind renaissance man with a big smile and a heart for adventure. He’s got a passion for family, and a determination to create great content for today’s dad. Bruce works with dads through his weekly parenting column that is written from the male perspective and is featured in several newspapers. He produces his own internet radio show as well. He has also written a book called “A Dad’s Point of View: We ARE Half the Equation,” and he even translates some of life’s best examples of this idea into a comic strip series called “Because I Said So.” He uses whatever spare time he has left to curate the discussion at #DadChat on Twitter every Thursday at 9PM EST and enjoy life’s adventures with his wife and two sons.

C.C. Chapman
Founder Digital Dads

C.C. Chapman is the Founder of Digital Dads and the author of Content Rules. He is a family first entrepreneur with two great kids. He loves the outdoors, cooking, photography and technology. He consults with companies around the globe to help them embrace the new world of marketing and business. Mr. Chapman is frequently challenging the current trends in media that tend to portray dads in a negative way. For example, he recently went to bat with Ragu and their parent company Unilever about their recent campaign to “rescue dads” from the kitchen, but not only offering criticism, but also suggesting how they could have done it better. You can read about it on his blog HERE. No matter what he is up to, you can bet that C.C. is defending dads and, more importantly, helping companies understand how to change their definition of dad so that this negative trend can be over with.

Lance Somerfeld & Matt Schneider
Founders - NYC Dads Group

Lance and Matt are stay-at-home dads that found themselves looking for a way to provide an opportunity for their kids to meet up and play, and not only that, they wanted to build a support network for other dads that want to be involved with their families. Two years ago they founded the NYC Dads Group, and it has rapidly grown to over 425 active dads! They do playgroup and educational events including a New Dad Boot Camp. Their site also has information about how to start your own dad's group. They have been featured on CBS News and NBC’s Today Show and in publications like USA Today and Parenting Magazine. They were recently asked to be a part of the New York City New Parents Expo. They were asked to sponsor the “Dad Lounge,” and the event planners originally wanted this to be an “escape” for dads, way off in a corner, to hang out and do mindless activities like play Xbox and sit on couches while their wives went around to the vendors at the expo. Lance and Matt did not hesitate to seize the opportunity. They said, “Yes, we will do the sponsorship, but we want to do exactly the opposite of what you’re planning. We want to show dads how to be more involved with their kids... and we want your largest booth... and we want to be in the center of the hall.” How’s that for changing the definition of dad? They showed all of the attendees and vendors just how important it is to be an involved father!

If you want to keep up with my adventures as a stay-at-home father, you can check out The Real Matt Daddy Blog.

A Father's Future (a guest post by Steve Birkett) #pregnancy

2011-10-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

I first met Steve Birkett during one of @BruceSallan's #dadchat twitter parties (Thursdays at 9:00 EST). When I learned that he was a first time expectant parent I asked him if he would write a post about his thoughts on his future fatherhood. He gladly obliged. Steve is a social media consultant primarily focusing on the music industry. You can read more about his business (and contact him if you are in need of a social media consultant) at his blog Above The Static.

A Father's Future

I first learned of my shift from aspiring Daddy to real life Father-to-be on a sleepy Saturday morning this past summer. Having satisfyingly pounded the snooze button for perhaps the thirtieth time, I was presented with an altogether more persistent form of wake up call: an ecstatic wife with a positive pregnancy test. My lie-in would have to wait (a situation that I've since been informed to get used to).

Having tried for over one year to conceive - enduring all manner of unpleasant treatments for my strong-willed wife - I was, of course, feeling elated. Relief, uncertainty, joy, questions, and confusion also flooded through me, the latter quite possibly down to being half awake and not entirely convinced that the whole thing wasn't a particularly vivid dream.

Tears, tea, and talking to my wife brought home the reality of the situation: I'm going to be somebody's Dad.

The More Things Change...

The first thing that surprised me was the disconnect between the enormity of the news and how little it actually changes things, in the short term at least. We couldn't really tell people outside of close family for a month or two, so no great hype built up around our life-changing event. We had a lot to learn, but nine months is a significant amount of study time (please, remind me of that one week before the due date!). Even our eating habits didn't need to be adjusted that much until the second trimester. My wife doesn't drink much and neither of us smoke, so there were no addictions to suddenly break.

In some ways, at least practically, this was business as usual. Mental preparation and not too much else.

In the absence of practical steps, I always turn to research. My better half Jen has a similar reaction, so we both felt a trip to the Borders fire-sale to be in order. The Brooklyn Central Library has since been raided on multiple occasions since that day, having spurred us both to finally register for library cards. Then we turned to the online resources like webzines, blogs, Twitter chats... information overload!

Between the pregnancy planning books, online medical articles, mommy blogger advice, and myriad other information sources on offer for parents-to-be, it could be argued that over-reading is almost as troublesome as under-reading. Sure, there are some crucial things to know - how much to budget, safety tips, and how you’ll never get to sleep again - but the unabated hypochondria of the Internet age can also kick in, with self diagnosis of every potential health concern. A fine line to walk indeed.

Nonetheless, forewarned is usually forearmed. Given the choice, I'd rather understand potential risks and rule them out, than remain oblivious. In the case of new parents, I'm very much of the mind that ignorance is not bliss.

Man In The Mirror

In addition to thinking about me having a child, I've also spent a lot of time reflecting on the child having me. It's a strange thing to contemplate, how a person that doesn't yet exist as a person will come to view you. I find these thoughts guiding my decisions more and more as the pregnancy becomes more 'real'.

Inevitably, there will be many more trials, triumphs, and tribulations to come before my wee one arrives...and then, I'm told, the "real fun" begins! Despite the knowing smiles with which that phrase has been delivered to me, I can't recall anticipating any event quite this fervently since my wedding day.

And for all the reading I'll have done and guidance that I've sought, one piece of advice will be at the forefront of my mind:

"Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, everything changes and you realize that you still know nothing.”

My Father Figures: Howard Vawters, Sr.

2011-10-20T13:25:00.004-04:00

Have you ever sat down to write something but the enormity of it froze you in your tracks? That's how I am feeling right now writing this post about my Grandpa. He was and will forever be one of the most important people in my life. We were a very tight knit extended family and from as early as I can remember got together for any occasion, no matter how small. It was well known among everyone that I was Grandpa's favorite. He was mine, too.

I went fishing with him. And camping. He taught me my first piano lessons. I would go to his house often just to visit with him and Grandma. Grandma and Grandpa were interwoven into each other, having known each other since grandma was 5 years old. They were second parents to me, just not quite as strict as my mom.

He had many jobs during his life, including administrative positions, teaching at a local community college, tuning pianos on the side, working as a security guard, the list goes on. To me, he will always be tuning a piano (or playing one, songs like "Fascination" and other standards; he loved to play his piano, which now sits in my living room) and a cool college professor who talked to his psychology students about metaphysics.

Metaphysics. He was a Rosicrucian who had passed all but the highest level. He believed in all ghosts and aliens and telekinesis and claimed to have astrally projected to another country. But then, he believed every cover of The Weekly World News and Enquirer as if they were The New York Times. He truly believed in Bat Boy - really, I'm not kidding (which astounded us as he was an educated man and an educator). When I was a kid, all of this was Amazing to me; now that I'm older it just adds to his character, which was larger than life.

I've yet to meet someone who could talk more than him. And he had an opinion on everything. And he was gonna tell it to you. I have to tell you, there were areas where his prejudice would arise and times when he would talk and you wondered what the heck he was talking about. He wasn't perfect, and he didn't know everything he thought he did (even though he was a highly intelligent man), but I loved him just the same.

I don't even know how to put into words how much I loved him. He was a kindred soul, someone who seemed to understand me and was every bit as quirky and eccentric as I was, just in other ways. He could be very cranky and mean at times, but I couldn't imagine him not being there, with his astounding stories or huge pronouncements, and just being able to sit and watch him, be in his presence.

He was a lifelong pipe smoker, started in WWII when he was barely out of his teens. And he was never more belligerent than when someone told him that smoking his pipe wasn't good for him. That pipe was a part of him (we all have one of his pipes now - I smell mine quite a bit to remember him). In the end, he got lung cancer that metastasized everywhere in his body including his brain. In his final few months, he became befuddled, argumentative to an extreme; it was like all of the worst traits that he has magnified. And then there were moments when he was himself, claiming that with herbs and right living he would get rid of the cancer.

But he didn't. He was put in hospice at the same time I was in the hospital having William. I always pictured that I would be buy his bedside in his final hours, but I was on absolute bed rest and had a preemie and there was no way for me to get to him. And he was at most 2 blocks away from me, which stung even more. One of the greatest pains of my life is that he never was able to see William and I wasn't able to tell him goodbye in his final hours. To have just held his hand one more time . . .

He knew that I was going to give William his name as a middle name and as he was dying, shortly after I had Will, he asked my cousin if I really had given him the name Howard. She told me that when she told him yes he smiled and seemed calmer.

And when I talk to William about his name, I tell him daddy picked out William, but Howard came from my grandpa, someone who I still love almost as much as I love him.

Don't Take My Advice (A Guest Post by Richard Monroe)

2011-10-18T08:00:00.003-04:00

There are just some bloggers that you instantly connect with. Richard Monroe, author of The Butterbottom Blog is one of mine. He's funny, nice, and willing to help with anything. He also knows my favorite donut (peanut from Jolly Pirate) and delights in reminding me. I've become a peanut expert on Klout, and I believe it's all because of him.

Richard started blogging as an adjunct to his clothing line Butterbottom. He soon realized that he loved the process of writing as it helped him reflect on what is important in life, what's not, and, most importantly, what he can turn into satire. He lives with wife Laura and sons Henry, 7, and Turner, 5.

Don't Take My Advice

When my pal Erin asked me to contribute to her Dadtober blog special, first thought was: of course I'll help her. Which was soon followed by, does that mean I have to write something new? That sounds like work. Erin, being the great sport, said it was fine to contribute something already posted on my blog, which was relevant to her theme.

But honestly my reluctance wasn't complete laziness (although that was a large part of it), but the issue of parenting advice and its irrelevance to anyone but your own children.

As contradictory as this sounds, the best parenting advice and the only one I've ever adhered to was told to me by a former colleague who I never would have taken for a parenting guru. About a month before our first was born, he simply said, "Look, after about two weeks, nobody on the entire planet is going to know your baby better than you and your wife. So you don't need to listen to anybody else. Its your kid, you'll know him or her better, so just do what you think is best."

And that seems just about perfect. In reality, every single child out there is different. So however one person deals with their kid has 0% to do with what you should do with yours (unless that person is your spouse of course). And if you have more than one child, you will find that each of those kids needs their own style of parenting. The nice compassionate extremely patient parent may be great for one, while the other may need the 'tough love' parent. Just threatening my oldest with a timeout stops him in his tracks, whereas the younger will not stop till whatever punishment is put in place.

But what really complicates things is that they grow and change and no two days are alike. So suddenly, your once introverted kid is suddenly mouthing off at school and a cocky little son of a gun. Or one day, after weeks of just general unpleasantness, your kid wakes up and seems like a brand new child and you think "I don't know what happened, but I'll take it".

And then they can pull a 180 in the midst of a single day. How many days have you had the best morning turn into the worst night? Or vice versa? Or how many times has one of your kids been totally awesome and then turns into a complete sourpuss, just as the other one has suddenly gone from acting too big for his britches to being the best daddy's little helper?

Its like the scene from The Incredibles when discussing the Omnidroid 9000, Bob says, "Let me guess, it got smart enough to wonder why it has to take orders from you?" That's childhood in a nutshell.

So, who am I to give you advice? Whatever I think probably doesn't work for your child and even if it does today, it won't tomorrow. So all you can do is keep fighting the good fight and start looking at military schools in your area.

Getting To Know Your Newborn (A Guest Post by Mark Perlman)

2011-10-15T09:00:00.001-04:00

Today's guest post is an excerpt from the book Caring For Your Newborn, Dr. Oslson Huff nd Nicole Rawson-Huff eds. It was submitted by Michelle Hutchison, Managing Editor of Sixty Second Parent.

Mark Perlman, the post's author, has 35 years of experience working with parents, children, and families in strengthening the family bond. He authored The Nurturing Father’s Program, a thirteen-week parenting curriculum for men that has been utilized by thousands of fathers and implemented by organizations such as Prevent Child Abuse, Head Start, and Milwaukee Fatherhood Initiative. Mark also authored the MArraige and PArrenting Program (MA & PA), which helps couples parent successfully as a team. He is the past Executive Director of the Family Counseling Center, the Child Protection Center and Fathers United Network (FUN) of Sarasota, Florida. He has served on the Florida Commission on Responsible Fatherhood, Commission on Marriage and Family Support, and currently on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention and Permanency Council. Mark is the proud married father of two grown sons.

Getting To Know Your Newborn

The days and weeks that follow the birth of your new baby are a busy time. As a father, you will likely continue to be the support person for your partner as well as communication central for family and friends. You will be juggling many roles and responsibilities.

It’s important that you take time to get to know your baby. Don’t hold back; jump right in and be an involved father.

If you are not too familiar with newborns, ask the delivery nurse how to hold your baby and any other questions you may have. These first days and weeks provide a unique opportunity for you to establish a bond and begin the relationship with your daughter or son that will last a lifetime.

Look for opportunities for you and your new baby to spend one-on-one time together, for example, when your partner is sleeping, needing a break, or preparing for nighttime feedings. Some new dads offer to get up to give the baby the middle of the night bottle (if bottle feeding) because it is such a peaceful and quiet time to hang out together – and mom will love the extra sleep.

Some dads describe holding their baby in one arm (head carefully supported) while doing some light work around the house. Other dads smile when they describe their baby falling asleep on their chest while they watch sports on television.

Use your five senses to learn about and enjoy your newborn:

Sight--Look at his face (eyes, ears, tiny nose), hands, feet, hair (if any).

Watch his facial expressions, awake or asleep. Smile and make funny faces. Close face-to-face contact allows your baby to see your face.

Sound--Listen to your baby’s breathing and the many sounds he makes.

Touch—Caress his soft cheek, feet, and tiny hands. Place your finger in his hand and see if he grabs hold. Bend your finger and let your baby suck on your knuckle. Let your baby lie on your chest. (This may work best with your shirt off because babies love skin-to-skin contact.) I also recommend that you and your partner learn infant massage.

Smell—Take in his feast of amazing smells – hair, scalp, face, and other smells (with which you will become too familiar).

Taste—Kiss your baby’s forehead, cheeks, hands, and feet.

Hold your baby close: After being in the enclosed womb for nine months, infants are used to being cuddled and held close. All of the above activities also engage your baby’s senses, which stimulate his growth and development.

By Mark Perlman

Stupid, Selfish, or Just Plain Silly (a Guest Post By Barry Silver)

2011-10-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

Barry Silver's blog, A Life Well Lived Concludes With A Smile is not a Dad Blog, but he does speak about his children and family often. Instead Barry writes about a bit of everything, current events (as in the case of this post) to media and entertainment, with appreciation of life smaller moments thrown in.

Stupid, Selfish or Just Plain Silly.

My fall Sunday morning radio is usually dominated by one topic: the NFL and more specifically The Bears (please hold on to your snide comments, Monday night’s game was a season’s worth of penance). The Sunday was a bit different because the Bears were playing Monday night. In lieu of Bears talk the local sports talker provided wall to wall live coverage of the (insert sponsor’s name here) Chicago Marathon. If you’ve never heard a Marathon covered on radio it’s like listening to a magic show, except not nearly as exciting. This Marathon had something a little different, although I didn’t find out about it until Monday.

Life Is Not A Sprint, It’s A Marathon.

Amber Miller, a dedicated recreational runner finished the marathon in roughly 6 ½ hours. In itself that is a remarkable feat. I couldn’t finish a marathon in 6 ½ days. Even more astounding and dumbfounding, Ms. Miller was 39 weeks pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby hours after crossing the finish line.

Before I jump into treacherous waters, I’m not a fan of men’s opinions of pregnancies. When my wife was pregnant, my two primary sentences were “How can I help?” and “Yes, of course dear”. As eyes roll at the previous sentence, I am not being flippant. Whatever help I provided my wife during pregnancy, there is no way possible I was sharing the responsibilities of pregnancy equally. Since % of opinion is guided by % of labor pains borne, I return to “I’m not a fan of men’s opinions of pregnancies”.

WTF?

When you choose to become a spouse and a parent you willingly put the needs of others ahead of your own needs. Since I am writing this post between my two kid’s bedtimes, I understand the delicate balance between the needs of family and the needs of self. So before I unsheathe my verbal stiletto, I want to point out some of the things that Amber Miller did not do wrong:

1. Amber Miller was never far from adequate medical care. In addition to the usual marathon medical accommodations the Chicago Marathon course is never more than ½ hour from a hospital. Children’s Memorial Hospital which can serve any manner of high risk pregnancy is either in close proximity or on the course.

2. Amber Miller is in great physical condition. Additionally she walked the 2^nd half of the course avoiding the body’s self cannibalization during the last miles of a marathon.

So exactly what was wrong with Amber Miller running a marathon pregnant? It was an awful decision!

Q: Don’t we all make silly decisions from time to time, especially when faced with a new situation?

A: Yes we do. This was the third marathon Amber Miller had run while pregnant. She was pregnant twice before (albeit at earlier stages of pregnancy) and ran marathons.

Q: Did she have a contingency plan if she couldn’t finish the marathon?

A: She actually didn’t plan on finishing the marathon. So why start?

Q: Why register for a marathon when pregnant?

A: She didn’t know she was pregnant when she signed up for the Chicago Marathon. Obviously calendars, calculators and medical advice are in scarce supply in Ms. Miller’s home city.

Q: What did her husband think about Ms. Miller participating in a marathon?

A: He was participating with her every step of the way. Husband and wife finished the marathon together.

You Decide.

“Judge not, lest ye be judged.” I’m familiar with the quote. Still, being a parent is a series of seemingly endless decisions. I’m sure there are parental decisions I’ve made that many would consider awful. But, running/walking a marathon in the final weeks of pregnancy? What’s the upside? How about the downside? I’m sorry but the decision was selfish. I can’t see it any other way.

What about you? Do you think the decision to participate in a marathon at the end of the third trimester was stupid, selfish or silly? What would you do? How would you feel about the comments that follow your decision? Do you have any examples of parents making head scratching decisions at or near a due date?

Making Up for Lost Time (a guest post by Justin Mannato)

2011-10-13T08:43:00.006-04:00

Today's guest blogger is Justin Mannato of Daddy Knows Less. Justin's inspiration is is daughter (known as "Peanut" on the blog) and he strives to catch parenthood in real time. He captures the moments, large and small, that make up parenthood and family. Daddy Knows Less is Circle of Moms #12 Top Daddy Blogs.

Making Up For Lost Time

Sometimes the smallest thing will stop you in your tracks. And break your heartd

Another day started way too early as my alarm sounded at 4:24 in the morning. I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled downstairs, towel and razor in hand. I shower downstairs to ensure I don't wake everyone up.

There it was: frozen in time

Then, I saw it. Sitting there on one of the stools under the counter. One of the Peanut's books.

And that's when it hit me. Smacked me in the face, in fact.

Yesterday evening the Peanut ran into the kitchen holding that book. Did she want me to read it? No. She wanted to show me something in it. It's a book with a different dog on each page, and when you turn the pages each different dog takes on the same big googily eyes. She wanted to show me which one looks like Luna.

But I was too busy. To my defense, I really was very busy. I had to delay getting dinner started because Luna once again crapped in the living room. So I was annoyed and busy.

And it grosses me out to have to clean up dog poop and cook a meal. The hand washing knows no end.

Standing there in the kitchen ten hours later, guilt consumed me. I remembered telling the Peanut to please wait. I wasn't nasty. I nicely explained to her that because Luna had an accident, I couldn't look right now. But I will in a minute.

This is the daily struggle we as working parents endure. Sometimes I stop doing what I'm doing and pay attention to her. If not, I will follow up in a minute, when I have a minute. (But who ever has a minute?)

That minute never came. I felt devastated. I felt I had disappointed her. I showered, soaked in sorrow.

When I came home tonight to start dinner, I saw that book again. Forgotten again. By me. By the Peanut. Now 24 hours later, it still sat on that same stool.

I hadn't even taken my bag off my shoulder when I announced to her, "You know what I'd like you to do right now? May you show me what you wanted to show me in this puppy book?"

She immediately ran in from the playroom, as if no time had passed. She grabbed the book, turned the pages, and showed me.

"This one is Luna:"

Then she turned a few pages and said, "And this one is me.”

Maybe she didn't think anything of it. Maybe she did. Either way, I felt like in that one little moment, I saved her a trip to the therapist. I righted a wrong.

And in that moment, we both felt better. All it took was a little time.

9 Great TV Dads

2011-10-12T18:16:00.007-04:00

These days you'd be hard pressed to find a wonderful TV dad. They are out there, but really, where are the Cliff Huxtables and Andy Taylors of today. Cartoons give us bafoonish examples like Jimmy Neutron's completely lost father, i Carly's dad is absent and she's more mature than Spencer, and where is Victoria Justice's dad on Victorious? Our kids are being exposed to some pretty bad examples.

Back in the day we had amazing father figures to look to. Here is my list, in no particular order, of great TV dads.

Ward Cleaver

He is my prototypical TV dad. Always a wise word, loving with his wife, great with his boys, he knew how to take his shoes off, put his slippers on, and read the evening paper before dinner. He got mad at the boys when they were bad, but not too mad. Just angry enough that the Beeve and Wally knew they'd disappointed the old man, which was just something you didn't do to Ward Cleaver. He was too good to be someone you'd want to disappoint; instead, he was the type of man you aspired to grow up to be.

Steven Keaton

Always the wise word, because he used to be a hippie. Which made him cool, even though he was now a sort-of-yuppie. Also, he lived in Columbus, OH, and NO t.v. show was set in Columbus, ever (although us Columbus kids couldn't really figure out where he lived, in his lovely Victorian house and safe neighborhood, a combo that wasn't as common then as it is now). His son Worshiped at the alter of capitalism and Ronald Reagan, something he was totally opposed to (remember, hippie), but he loved him and listened to him just the same. His daughter brought home a scary looking artist dude and he accepted him. He got angry, and the kids didn't want to disappoint him, either, because at the heart of it, he was a good man who loved his family and he wasn't afraid to say it. And his son was Michael J Fox.

Dan Conner

Dan was an every man. He worked on motorcycles. His business failed. He worked hard to keep his family supplied for. He didn't like his life at times and at others loved it and everyone in it. He threw angry fits at times, but usually saw the humor in life. Dan took things as they came at him and handled them the best he could, which was usually pretty well, given that he was poor and had a crass, domineering wife, rebellious, disaffected kids, and an absolute mess of a father, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law. He gave funny yet insightful advice to his family and was as protective as he could be. Blessed with a big belly and a big heart, we all loved him.

Andy Taylor

Probably one of the moral people ever on TV. The town sheriff who wouldn't let his deputy load his gun (for obvious reasons). He raised his son in an authoritative yet gentle manner; you were never in doubt of who was in charge. When Opie killed a bird, he didn't like it and let Opie know it, but he let Opie work out the ethics of it all on his own. He was always there for his son, Aunt Bea, Helen, and everyone in town. The handsomest man in church, he ate the kerosene pickles just to make sure Aunt Bea was happy. If every boy aspired to be an Andy Taylor, just imagine what a fabuous, Mayberry of a world we could live in.

Charles Ingalls

Frontier dad who built a log cabin, could dig a well, and saw his children through a life threatening illness practically every episode. Could deal with tragedy better than any human being ever born, and had the authority to get his family (and everyone else in town for that matter) through it as well. Strong, silent, loving, godly. Was Charles Ingalls perfect? Maybe.

Steve Douglas

Widower, aeronautical engineer, and understanding father to Mike, Chip, and Robbie, and later, Ernie. A family of boys who grew into men, accompanied by grandfather "Bub" and housekeeper Uncle Charlie. Along the way, the boys got married, had a few kids, they moved from Illinois to California, and Steve ruled the family along the way.

Howard Cunningham

A man who found his calling when the toilet overflowed. Local hardware store owner, devoted husband, lodge brother, and bowling league member. Let a greaser live over his garage and eventually became the closest thing to a father that greaser ever had. Raised a superb son of fine moral fiber (even though he barely tolerated his goonie friends) and a spazzy girl in a poodle skirt (even though she eventually ran off with the greaser's cousin to live over a pizza shop and sing cheesy duets). Had it going on long before "had it going on" meant anything.

Tim Taylor

Sure, he was a TV handy man who couldn't fix anything. That didn't matter when he got home (well, it did, but there was always Al to fix what he broke). At home, he was a manly man, raising three boys to become honorable men, drinking a beer here and there, and restoring his series of amazing hot rods. He and his wife had IT going on, even though they had a fight here and there. Slightly befuddled but spot on where it counted, he knew when to ask his sage neighbor for advice, and always seemed to get it right in the end.

Cliff Huxtable

When Americans were asked which TV dad they would most like to have, all of the above men made the list, along with Ben Cartright, Ozzie Nelson, Mike Brady, and, inexplicably, Peter Griffin, but Cliff Huxtable was #1 by a landslide. And lets all face it, Cliff is the best dad on TV, ever. He's funny, smart, likes to play with kids, love his wife, may not get what he wants all the time but can laugh his way through it, and will go to unending lengths to teach his kids a lesson (such as when he cleared out Theo's room, created a fake job, made him rent his room back, buy all the furniture, leaving him, of course, with nothing at the end of the day to have fun with, all the while enlisting every member of the family as bit players in Theo's lesson in economics). Who didn't love his wacky sweaters, his love of jazz, and his attempts to eat whatever he wanted despite Claire's watchful eye. I really could write an entire thesis on Cliff (and I'm sure a few people have), but I will end it here, wondering "Will there ever be another Cliff?"

Who are some of your favorite TV dads, and who did I forget?

Parent or Friend? (a Guest post from Ben Moffat)

2011-10-11T08:00:00.001-04:00

I’m so pleased to be including a post from our next blogger, Ben Moffat, author of The Angry Scot. Ben moved to Järpås, Sweden from Fife, Scotland after he met his partner Marie. Together they have three children, Mikaela, 14, Alexander, 6, and Maximus, 6. He started blogging in July 2011 “because my partner Marie thought i would be pretty good at it, because im the type of person who normally tells it how it is or at least how he see’s it. But now I’m just blogging because it’s fun and i have met loads of awesome people through doing it and can’t wait to meet more.” To his credit, he seems to have built a large following in a small amount of time as every dad blogger I’ve met seems to know him. Give a warm welcome to The Angry Scot!

Parenting is quite possibly one of the hardest jobs any mother and father have to endure in their lifetime, it is a job that never ends, you are a parent 24/7, 365 days a year. However since moving across to Sweden (and by all means this is not a post about how bad parents Swedish are because for the most part they are fantastic) but as I have noticed a growing trend over the last 5 years since moving here.

"Now what is this trend?" I hear you ask. Well what I am talking about is the amount of parents I have seen neglect their parental duties and favour something that for the most part is good but has extremely bad consequences and this is friendship. Before anyone decides to go on a rampage, I am not saying you shouldn't be a friend to your child (by god no), that is something you definitely should be but when you are favouring being a friend to your children over being a parent that is where you see the likes of what I have seen over the past few years.

My twin boys used to attend the local daycare centre here in Järpås where we live. They didn't really need to be there since I am a stay at home dad, but it was something that both myself and my fiancée thought would be a great experience for them. I remember the first week I began to take the boys up to daycare, there was always this young boy up there already who was a little bit older than my two boys and always walked around like he owned the place, jumping on the furniture, bossing people around and such likes. I thought nothing of it because you know that some children are just like that. But a few weeks later I finally noticed the real reason behind his behaviour and attitude.

The reason behind it? His mother. Now I am not saying she is a bad mother, she is probably a good mother and does the very best she can, but the way she spoke to him and the way she treated him really annoyed me so much that I really wanted to say something. I decided not to say anything, because well my thoughts and opinions are exactly that mine, and it is certainly not my place to go around criticizing people's methods of parenting.

But this one day I went up to pick up my boys and was sitting on one of the sofa type benches they had just as you walked in the door, waiting for my kids to finish eating their afternoon snack and the same little boy who I had been seeing everyday was sitting on the one in front of me (or should I say jumping around and jumping on top of it). Not only was he doing that but his mother was standing right there in the doorway to the cloakroom.

As she turned around she must have got a glimpse of the look on my face (It was the look of "hello can you please tell your child that he shouldn't be doing that") but instead she just laughed and shrugged it off with the look off ("well what you going to do eh? Boys will be boys"). Eventually she had finished getting her other child dressed and ready to go and told her other boy who was performing acrobatics on the daycare furniture that it was time to go, but instead of the boy getting down and going with his mother he just completely ignored her request and continued with his antics.

But instead of being the firm parent, directing her child with what she wanted done she opted to go for the sad puppy dog eyes and come out with "Oh come on now son, let's get moving. Your dad will be home soon and i need to make dinner" in the most gentle voice you could possibly imagine. Of course like you could imagine the boy once more just completely ignored his mother and just continued doing what he was doing, but once more instead of taking the firm approach and telling the boy that it was time to go and to get a move on she opted for the bribe approach with "Please come now, when we get home we can have dinner and then some ice-cream and candy and cuddle up on the couch and watch some cartoons".

This to me is not on, he is the child and you are the parent at the end of the day and what you say goes, there is no point being all friendly towards your children if they are just going to completely ignore your requests and directions.

Safe to say the boy has grown up now and his behaviour and attitude has not changed one bit. He still does what he wants says what he wants and gets away with it, he has attempted a few times to try and speak to me like I was nothing but a piece of dirt on his shoe and I have just completely ignored him. I could have replied with something like "Listen, don't you speak to me like that" but seeing as I am not his parent I don't feel it is my place so I opted to just ignore his remarks and continue with what I was doing.

This story is a prime example of many things I have seen over the years that prove to me that I am teaching my children the correct way to be in life, some might say that I am strict parent and if that is their opinion then so be it, but I refuse to let my children get away with anything they are not meant to and I will definitely not let them talk to people without being respectful.
You might think that this has nothing to do with being a friend to your children but in my eyes it is, the mother instead of being a parent was being a friend to her child and in return she was ignored and disrespected not only that it was done in front of a complete stranger.

So if you take anything away from this post, then it should be to watch that fine line that we as parents have between being a parent, and being a friend to your child. Cherish the children you have but at the same time teach them the right way to act and to speak to people. Manners cost nothing in this world and I believe that it is the duty of every parent to teach their children that.

My Father Figures: Pierson Gilliland

2011-10-10T11:00:00.000-04:00

Grandpa Gilliland. The name conjures up warm fuzzies and massive feelings of love. He was actually my great grandfather, my paternal grandma's dad. My paternal grandfather died before I was born, so my earliest memories are of Grandpa Gilliland.

I worshiped him. There is just no other word that explains my feelings for him. I remember eating Cheerios with heavy cream with him because that's what he liked to eat. I remember just being with him. But the truth is, as the years have gone by, I've forgotten more and more about him.

He died when I was still very young. I think I was 8 or 9. Someone took me for a walk and told me he was dead and that I would never see him again. It took a few days, but it was the first time that I was completely, totally devastated by a person's death. At one point I wrote a letter to God asking for Grandpa Gilliland back. There was a large part of me that was sure that God would give me my wish. When he didn't I think I truly understood the finality of death.

But the most important thing that Grandpa Gilliland taught me was that I was loved. He loved me entirely and completely. And I felt the same thing for him. I still feel it all these years later when I think of him.

Look at that little girl. She loves that man. She will forever,

but she just doesn' t know it yet.

When I think of Grandpa Gilliland, I think about love.

Be The Man Your Wife Wants and Children Need (guest Post from Dustin Christian)

2011-10-08T11:55:00.001-04:00

The first of my Dad Bloggers Is 32 year old Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow. He currently resides in Gulfport, MS with wife Rhonda Gail and children Jude, 5 (from another marraige), Nick, 5 (Rhonda's, but his in every other way), and Harper, 2 and Quentin who is due later this month. Dustin has been blogging off and on for eight years and Daddy Geek is his fourth or fifth blog. According to Dustin, “DaddyGeek goes through phases. Sometimes it’s more Daddy, other times more Geek. Other times both fade into the background and it’s just about Dustin Christian. And sometimes it’s all about the boys. Nick makes the most appearances, mainly because he’s the oldest and thus most lessons are learned with him. “ I hope you enjoy his wonderful post!

Be The Man Your Wife Wants and Children Need

My wife has lost count of the times she's been told "Wow, I wish my husband would do that." My wife is envied, and an envied wife is a happy wife that appreciates her husband and lets him do things like attempt a freelance writing business from home because his dream is to make a living slinging words while he sits in his underwear and drinks beer.

I benefit from not being normal, is what I'm saying.

To be completely honest, I don't understand why I'm seen as unusual or a freak. I honestly don't know how I could be any other kind of husband and father than what I am - this really does seem brain-numbingly simple to me.

But everyone grows up with different value systems and different ideals about what a man should be, so I decided to lay out what is working for me, in the hopes that it could help some of you.

Take what you can use, leave the rest, your mileage may vary, choose your disclaimer. Hopefully you can use some of this and make your home-life a little easier to manage.

Forget Conformity.

Conformity for the sake of fitting in is for the weak-minded and weaker-willed. If your plans happen to follow the norm or conforming will achieve your goals, so be it. If conformity is holding you back from what you need or want? Forget. Conformity. Conformity is for sheeple. I don't wear a woolly coat and I'm not raising my boys to bleat.

Forget all the macho crap, lose the ego, and be a true partner.

Your concepts of "a woman's work" and wearing the pants in your family will get you nowhere. It's fine to have spheres of responsibility based on what your strengths, but be ready to step up and help with "her" responsibilities without restraint.

What's your alternative? Have things not get done and then fight about it?

Remember with whom you'll be spending the rest of your life and prioritize accordingly.

These first three really tie together. A lot of you will receive push-back from your friends and possibly even other husbands. You may be called whipped. You may be teased for going home to spend time with your kids instead of going to the bar and watching the game with your buddies. Other husbands may complain that you make them look bad.

To hell with them.

You are not married to your friends. Hopefully, at least one or two will still visit you when you're incontinent, but you don't go home to them every night. You will not grow old beside your friends. Your friends will not pick your nursing home or buy you Fathers' Day gifts. Your friends will not take care of you when you're sick.

And, to be frank (why stop now?), if other husbands aren't willing to step up their game, that's on them. Why make their problems your problem?

Change some diapers, especially the ones with a "surprise."

This ties into the first rule, but really deserves a spot of its own since my wife has shown more appreciation for this than almost anything else I do, ever.

I'm not really bothered by a diaper full of poop, and I'm even less bothered after five years of diaper changes, but nobody actually likes the (literal) crap job. I change 95 percent of the poopy diapers in our house, but you don't have to go that far. Taking one for the team even a third of the time will garner much appreciation from your wife.

Learn to cook.

Like changing diapers, you don't have to do this all the time. Just knowing that asking you to make dinner is an option will make your partner's life easier. When I stayed home with the boys, I cooked most meals. Now that we both work, my wife cooks more often than not. But she loves being able to ask me to make dinner or even just do all the prep work if it's needed.
Very little real work, major benefits.

LISTEN.

This is the most underused skill in our society today. Not just in marriages and parenthood, but life in general. People don't listen to what others are saying, they just wait for their turn to talk.
It is essential that you listen to your wife and kids. Listen to and understand their needs, their concerns, their fears, their joys, and their annoyances. You'd be amazed at how much easier your life and relationships can be if you take 5 minutes to really listen to and understand the people around you.

Also, never stop working on this.

Missing the ball game won't kill you.

Dude, I get it. It's been a long day, you're tired and you just want to sit back with a beer and watch some football. Or baseball. Or basketball. Or mud wrestling. It doesn't really matter. The point is that you just want to check out and relax for a while.

Here's the thing, though. Your kids adore you. It's a miracle and makes no sense, but no matter what you do, you are your children's hero. And they're dying to play with you or show you what they drew or tell you about the smelly kid in their class. They need some of your time. And, before you know it, they'll be too busy with their own lives to idolize you like this. They'll have their own lives and own interests and you'll be dying for their time but they just want to check out and listen to the new Deathmole album.

Time is a non-renewable resource. You'll never get another shot at spending today with your family, so carpe the fuck out of that diem.

Learn to appreciate cartoons

There will be days when your kids will want nothing more than to just sit on your lap, check out, and watch cartoons. Find the good ones, your sanity will thank you. And your kids will thank you when you're actually able to sit through that crap.

I'm a big fan of Phineas and Ferb, I can watch that all day. Ruby from Max and Ruby and Peppa from Peppa Pig make me crave pork and rabbit stew. The Wonder Pets creep me out. Batman: The Brave and The Bold is a godsend.

Choose wisely.

Reconnect with your inner child

Kids have the best games. Do not be so caught up with being an adult that you can't enjoy this.

Tell them embellished versions of the Three Little Pigs. Make up an entirely new story. Build a Lego diorama of the Battle at Helm's Deep. Draw silly pictures of your annoying boss. Try to explain how George Lucas could make such a mess out of Star Wars. Race your cardboard box cars around the house.Let your kids ride you around the house. If they're small enough, turn your laundry basket into their flying car.

Have fun. There are major health benefits, besides making your kids happy.

Let your wife sleep in once in a while.

Moms are some of the world's most sleep-deprived people. When surgical residents complain about their long hours and going days without sleep, mothers - especially mothers of newborns - laugh and call them pussies. Dads don't really get enough sleep, either, but we're able to let go at some point and trust that our kids can't get into too much trouble locked in their rooms. Moms will wake up if a floorboard creaks. In the house next door.

So, the next weekend that it is humanly possible, tell your wife to sleep in, pour the kids and yourself some cereal, snuggle up on the couch, and watch some cartoons. Your wife will be happier from sleep and you'll have picked up some quality time with your kids.

Look, all of this may not be for you. Your wife may not like sleeping in. She may be weird and enjoy changing diapers. Your kids may have reached the point where they like watching the game just as much as you. That's awesome.

But hopefully you'll have found something useful here, or - even better - maybe I inspired you to find your own method to step up your game as a husband and father.

12 Dad Blogs That You Should Be Reading

2011-10-07T11:55:00.001-04:00

There are some amazing Dad Blogs out there (and a few wonderful Dads who Blog, too) and I am guessing that you probably aren't acquainted with them. For some reason, being a Mom Blogger (even if you hate the term) is hot, but being a Dad Blogger is just a totally overlooked blogoverse category. And I don't get it AT ALL. Who better than a dad to help us understand our husbands, the fathers in our lives, and their thoughts on parenting and life in general?

The men listed below write wonderful, thoughtful, often hilarious blogs that cover everything you could ever imagine. I am so happy to have become blog friends with them and excited to introduce them to you.

Richard Monroe and Barry Silver

1. Richard Monroe writes The Butterbottom Blog, "the blog that is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." He writes posts about the absurdities and humor of life as a husband and father. The word "lovely" comes to mind, but is that a masculine enough description for a Daddy Blog? Well, it's a lovely blog.

2. Barry Silver is my first Dad who blogs (but not a Dad Blogger). A Life Lived Well Concludes With A Smile records "life's small moments that create life's lasting memories." With posts on everything from family to technology, entertainment to life in general, A Life Well Lived provides the prefect mash-up of everything you ever needed to read.

John Willey and Ben Moffat

3. John Willey is the author of Daddy's In Charge? and one of this year's Parents.com Best Dad Blog Award Nominees. I love his Lego movies (starring everyone from Chuck Norris to Spiderman) which record his singular views on fatherhood. Read the bittersweet My Son is a Swinger to appreciate those days when your kids are dependent on you, especially if you have days like me where you wish they could do their own laundry and cook for themselves.

4. Ben Moffat is The Angry Scot, a Scotsman living with his family in Sweden. The Angry Scot is his place to write and rant about life, parenting, and all of the exploits that come with them. Ben is incredibly opinionated and not afraid to let everyone know (sort of like my Scotch-American hubs).

Justin Mannato and Dustin Christian

5. Justin Mannato's Daddy Knows Less is listed as Circle of Moms #12 Best Dad Blog. His post about Ikea (a store which I am DYING to shop at), "To Hell and Back" is an absolute must read. Absolutely hilarious and really showed me how my husband feels on our shopping forays!

6. Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow, is another blog author who writes about a wonderfully varied mix of parenting topics. Check out It's Okay to Hate Being a Parent. . . Occasionally. Dustin will be one of the dads guest posting over the next few weeks, so look out for him.

Todd Howard and Edward Staples, Jr.

7. Todd Howard's LessonMinder.com is an invaluable resource for homeschooling parents and any parent who wishes to help further educate their child. He has a real passion for teaching our children, and his website shows it. The blog is an adjunct to Todd's educational organizational tool available online.

8. Edward Staples, Jr. of FatherEd is a Christian father who writes insightful articles about child rearing. He has an evident love for his children and you can tell from his posts that he is intentionally raising them with honor and dignity. Oh, and his youngest is a William, too, and both are darn cute!

Matthew Peregoy and Alex Walsh

9. Matthew Peregoy of The Real Matt Daddy is funny, funny, funny. Did I mention that this blog is hilarious? Really, you've got to read his recent post on how to get a toddler to sit still. Where was he when William was 1? Also nominated for Parents.com Best Daddy Blogger of the year.

10. Alex Walsh of Daddacool can explain himself best: "What's there to say really? I am a father to two small children who haven't yet pushed me past the point where my sanity disintegrates and I turn into a gibbering wreck but that can only be just round the corner." Listed at #8 on Cision's list of Top UK Daddy Blogs; Alex has also been published in my go to English news source, The Guardian.

Derek Markham and Zach Rosenberg

11. Derek Markham writes Natural Papa, Treehugger's 2010 Best Health and Wellness website. This site goes beyond most eco-parenting sites which seem to be geared toward eco-deals by tackling topics such as home birth, parenting, and eco-living in an amazingly insightful fashion.

12. Zach Rosenberg is one of the Editors of 8BitDad: Paternity in Pixels, has appeared on radio on His Side with Glenn Sacks and written for publications such as Filter Magazine and The Los Angeles Sentinel. This wonderful blog brings together soundbites geared toward everyman about fathering, parenting, and being a man from all over the internet. Often absurd, usually hilarious, always entertaining, this blog is worth a bit of your time.

Dad Days - Your Posts Needed

2011-10-06T11:59:00.006-04:00

I had an interesting discussion with some fellow bloggers on Triberr the other day about how overlooked Dad Bloggers feel in the blogosphere. I've always suspected that Dad Bloggers were under-appreciated; the discussion gave me the confirmation that I needed. And that led me to thinking about how the role of Dad has, in general, seemed to become more and more under-appreciated these days. That's why I'm dedicating these pages over the next few weeks to the other half of the parenting equation, our fathers. I'll tell you tomorrow about some great dad bloggers that you may not know about; some of them will be contributing posts to Dropped Stitches. I'll talk about my father figures and other issues I've noticed; I am, however, turning most of this over to the men as they have the best insight on what it is to be a father.

If you are a dad blogger (or a dad who blogs) who I've not yet met and would like to contribute to the blog, you can contact me on twitter @erinswallace or email me your post idea to ktcwmom@gmail.com. If you are a woman who would like to talk about the father figures in your life you may do the same. I'm excited about these next few weeks and hope to have you all along for the journey.

Down on The Farm

2011-10-04T15:33:00.006-04:00

We had our annual church Fall Gathering this weekend at Marmon Valley Farm. Will and I didn't stay long as Will has bronchitis (he is much better today), but we did get to have some good church potluck food, play a little, and feed some animals.

Marmon Valley Farm is a wonderful place to take pictures, and I took quite a few to share with you.

Guess what I got this Friday??

2011-10-02T19:32:00.005-04:00

Do you want to know??

It's very exciting!

But it isn't a Cartier Love Bracelet

and now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know why I don't have one, save the $4000 price tag.

It wasn't a troll doll
Or a Thomas Kincaid decorative plate

It wasn't a Goldendoodle

which was the dog I really wanted

No Dodge Viper (which I wouldn't want anyway; I'd rather have a station wagon)
And not a beret

I didn't get a poster for my Beiber fever (his hair is so dreamy! KIDDING!)

Or a shot glass from Planet Hollywood Name-Your-City
I DID get a migraine, but that sucks, so it doesn't count

No one gave me an AMC Pacer

or named a star after me
and I didn't get a Kindle (again, why not!)

BUT

I got INTERNET ACCESS!

If you doubt the exciting nature of this moment, you haven't gone without internet access for 6 months, trying to blog from your phone. I haven't figured out how to set up our wireless internet, but who cares!!! I'm on a computer, in my home, writing a post! With CABLE TV in the background. Please! My brain is melting out of my ear and my geek level just shyrocketed (especially after the Dr Who marathon I watched yesterday - the Twin Streams facility episode was beyond brilliant, and the cybermen were back! And - SPOILER ALERT - The Doctor IS MARRIED! Could little Time Lords be on the way?!)

Okay, I'm going to turn my geek level down a notch before I turn into Sheldon Cooper. So I have no more excuses for non-existant blog posts or not knowing what is happening on Dancing With the Stars (except that I don't watch it). Yay Internet! I love you!

Knitted Hat and Mittens Done!

2011-09-27T09:04:00.001-04:00

The hat and mittens are complete. As you can see, the hat is not the "Ironic Gnome", though I am still planning on knitting that for the teens. Maybe striped. In the end, William just wanted that hat on his head so I finished it off, put a big pom pom on the top and it turned into a hat from Peru.

The mittens were easy one point needle mittens from Lion Brand and knitted up in two days. I knit both at the same time and they flew off of the needles. Both the hat and the mittens only used one skein of Simply Soft yarn.

So William is thrilled with his winter ensemble and I get to start something new. I've been wanting to knit a traditional pair of Norwegian mittens and found a pair that uses sock yarn. I bought alpaca so that they'd be warm and a cable needle so that I can learn the magic loop technique. The pattern uses stranded color work so essentially there will be two layers of alpaca; I'm hoping they'll be warm enough for subzero Ohio winters but I'm thinking if they work in Norway, Ohio should be no problem at all!

Cookies, Muffins, and Pies, Oh My!

2011-09-21T08:52:00.003-04:00

I have been incredibly busy this week, but am enjoying myself. You see, I have been a baking maniac, and if there's one thing I love to do, it's bake. The regular baking lady at the local Farmer's Market is having her knee replaced and my husband mentioned to her that I am a good baker. She told me all of her prices, what she usually bakes, and gave me her blessing.

Thus far, I have baked 5 varieties of cookies in quadruple batches. Do you know that I used to hate creaming butter and sugar? Now, it's calming, meditative. And using my great grandmother's pastry tool, which prepared many a pie crust (though I am told that they were as heavy as bricks) makes the act even more special. Today is muffin baking day, and try as I might, I could not find large muffin cups, so it's going to be regular sized muffins this week (apple streudel, blueberry, and banana nut, maybe chocolate chip). And then there's pies. She usually bakes 25 pies the day before, small, large, sugar free and high test, apple, peach, blueberry, cherry, etc. That intimidates me, but I CAN DO IT!

Unfortunately, this may all be for naught, as it's been raining all week and may rain all weekend. Thankfully we have a large freezer and baked goods freeze well. And I have a family with a sweet tooth. So I may not have to freeze a thing, as it will all be eaten up and my family will be found in a sugar coma by the neighbors!

I found the most Ah-Mazing Snickerdoodle recipe. Mrs. Sigg's Snickerdoodles are absolutely, bar none, the best snickerdoodles I have ever eaten. They are like chewy Spritz cookies (German butter cookies) with cinnamon and sugar on them. I did learn that they have to be pressed down before baking or they will be very thick, but you might like them that way. Give them a try, but I'm going to warn you, it's hard to stop at just one. Smitten Kitchen's oatmeal cookie recipe is also divine, but unless you make minuscule cookies you will only get 1 dozen cookies from a batch. And that batch might not last long once you taste them!

Lordy, Lordy, I'm Almost 40!

2011-09-18T17:19:00.001-04:00

Today is my birthday. The big 3-9. Do you remember when you were a child and 40 seemed so old and 50 was positively ancient? Now I wonder how I got this old. Not that 39 or 40 or even 70 seems that old anymore especially when the day comes and you ARE 39. Why, I'm positively a baby according to some of the women in my church.

Time is odd. Einstein said it was all relative and explained it this way: "When you spend a minute with a beautiful woman it seems like seconds have passed, but place your finger on a burner for that same minute and it feels like and eternity." Right now, it feels like my life has passed by in mere days. My child became 4 overnight and the time that I spend with those I love can feel like seconds. My birthday wish is that God would slow down the important events in my life and let me savor them a little longer. In the grand scheme we have only seconds on this earth and I'd like to enjoy each one of them.

Ciao bella Chicken Cacciatore

2011-09-16T10:36:00.003-04:00

I have a confession. I really hate chicken. It tastes gamey to me, nothing like it used to. The only way I will eat it is fried, with lots of gravy, or like this, when it has stewed in a wonderful sauce and, well, doesn't taste like chicken!

Chicken cacciatore is healthy, full of vegetables and protein, and has an earthy, satisfying flavor perfect for fall. And it is surprisingly easy to make. Just give it some time and you'll have a meal even a chicken hater will love.

You will need:
2 pounds of chicken, cut any way (I prefer strips cut into chunks)
2-16 oz cans of diced tomatoes
1-16 oz can of tomato sauce
1 package baby Bella mushrooms or portobellas cut in large chunks
1 onion cut into thin slices
1 green pepper cut into slices
1 Tbsp Italian seasoning
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp salt
2 tsp pepper
3-4 cloves garlic
1 Tbsp olive oil

Here's how it's done:

1. Add olive oil to hot pan
2. Brown chicken on all sides.
3. Add onion, pepper, mushrooms, and garlic and saute until onions are starting to look clear.
4. Add tomatoes and rest of seasonings.
5. Cover and let simmer for at least an hour, stirring occasionally. It can simmer longer if you like.
6. About 15 minutes before you are going to serve the sauce, uncover and let some of the water simmer off.
7. Practice your Italian accent while eating this fabulous dish.

I like to serve this atop angel hair pasta or spaghetti. To make it really hearty, use linguini. The sauce is a little thinner than canned sauces and doesn't cling as well to shaped pastas, but they can be used also.Enjoy!

Working on another hat: Could a free pattern be on the way?

2011-09-15T08:26:00.004-04:00

So William needs a hat, mittens, and a scarf. He picked out the yarn from my stash, a very colorful variety of Caron Simply Soft called "Embroidery Print." It is perfect for a little kid.

When he looked at the patterns he loved the gnome and pixie hats. So using the amazing Ravelry I found a selection of free patterns for gnome hats. I settled on "The Ironic Gnome" (don't you LOVE that name) for "hipster gnomes" from the great blog The Work is Getting to Me. One thing I REALLY love about this hat that I don't know how to do is the color gradient dye job that XandY did to her yarn. It's amazing and she is promising a tutorial. Can't wait.

Side from The Work is Getting to Me

back from The Work is Getting to Me

I love the slouchyness (she used Paton's Classic and any acrylic isn't going to have the same slouch) and the aforementioned gradient dye.

BUT, as all of you know, I am a designer, and I'm always making modifications to everything I knit. My first was to start with ear flaps, which I worked in the following way:

Best worked on the dpns you'll use to make the hat
Cast on 4
Row1: Perl
Row2: K1, M1, K2, M1, K1
Row3: Perl
Row4: Knit
Row5: Perl
Row6: K1, M1, K4, M1, K1
Repeat rows 3 - 5
Continue to add 2 stitches to following row until there are 14 stitches on needles
Then:
Perl 1 row
Knit 1 row
Perl 1 row
Knit 1 row
Perl 1 row
Then add 2 additional stitches, continuing in this manner until there are 20 stitches on the needle
Perl 1 row
Hold each ear flap on needle

At this point I should tell you that I think I'm using size 6 dpns (I eyeballed them, so I'm not sure: can't find my measuring tool) since I'm making this for a 4 year old and the gauge was much smaller than called for in the Ironic Gnome pattern. So I ended up using a knitted cast on with 30 stitches in the back of the hat, knitting on the ear flaps, and 50 stitches in the front of the hat for a total of 120 stitches cast on. I also did a 2x2 rib instead of the 1x1 rib called for in the pattern. I added an additional stitch every 12th stitch on the first row after the rib stitch and am now following the pattern as written.

I am thinking of making the top of the hat longer and pointier and maybe adding a pom pom, but William didn't seem to thrilled with the Jayne Cobb hat when I showed it to him (how I love the Jayne)

source on Craftster

Maybe I'll just have to knit that one for myself!

Help! I am afraid to go back to work!

2011-09-14T09:07:00.003-04:00

Ever since the day I entered kindergarten, I was a worker. While I was in school, I strove to excel. I had always wanted to be a doctor and knew that I had to be exceptional to get into medical school. So I didn't go to parties, I studied and read, and I learned anything and everything I could.

In college (Go Capital) I was a TA and LA for multiple science classes while carrying a full course load. I worked during the summer at the Summer Institute helping with Organic Chem lab (which I loved), lecturing for a few pre-labs, and tutoring. Sometimes I wish I had known how much I was going to love Chemistry; I would have majored in it rather than Biology, but that's another story entirely.

Then came medical school and residency. Learning medicine is in and of itself a full time job, and residency takes work to a whole new level. I started practicing medicine right after I graduated and practiced for another 5 years.

Then all hell broke loose. I got pregnant, lost my job, got in trouble for writing prescriptions for my husband's migraines, lost my license, and couldn't find a job to save my life. I was hospitalized twice for depression, in outpatient treatment three times, and have gone through countless hours of therapy. I essentially broke down. For the last five years I've been a housewife. Initially it was difficult but I've settled into a groove and have become comfortable.

The other day Tim asked me how much money I'd need to put together a proper work wardrobe. In other words, "since you can go back to work now, you need a wardrobe." The prospect of doing some serious clothes shopping is exciting; the idea of working fills me with dread.

I am bogged down with questions: what if, psychologically, I can't handle it? What if I've forgotten so much that I make serious mistakes? Everyone wants me to go back to medicine, but I don't want to practice, so what do I do? I haven't worked for 5 years; am I cut out for work anymore? I am so scared, no, make that terrified, that I become frozen in my tracks whenever I try to make a positive move in the work direction. And this from a former professional gal who was damn good at what she did.

So how do I get through this and move on? Any input would be greatly appreciated. I suppose my dream of supporting my family off of my blog isn't going to come to fruition, so that means I have to get a job outside of my house. How did you working moms handle the fear, if you had it?

It's 9/11/2011 and I don't know what to say. . .

2011-09-11T15:46:00.001-04:00

. . .which brings back the helplessness that I felt on that day. I had a day of shopping planned, which seems so frivolous now, and called my friend MaryAlice to chat. She told me to turn on the tv because she thought the malls would be closed. "Why in the world would the mall be closed on a Wednesday?" I remember thinking, and then there it was, on the screen, smoke billowing out of the North Tower, people hanging out of windows desperate to be saved, others jumping out from 90 story windows to certain death.

And my total shock and instant feeling of helplessness. There I was in Ohio, minutes before upset that I couldn't spend the day shopping, and now the woman on the tv is saying something about the tower collapsing. And another plane flying into the Pentagon and another downed in Virginia. This is really happening and I am watching it happen. The other towers topple, people are covered in ash, struggling for breath. First responders are trapped, most likely dead. Did a plane really fly into the World Trade Center? Yes, it did, there it is on the tv, along with a picture of a huge hole in the Pentagon.

I felt that same sadness today as I looked at photos of the plane flying into the tower. Of people looking at conspiracy to explain the unexplainable. Of people holding photographs of loved ones lost in the attacks.

So really, I don't know what to say because it all seems trivial and words are failing me. But to say nothing is to ignore those that lost their lives. We must never forget.

Peanut Butter Banana Dog Treats

2011-09-09T14:03:00.002-04:00

Dogs love peanut butter. We all know that. Peanut butter has a lot of fat. We know that too. So how about using banana for your "oil" to avoid adding more fat? We all need to do what we can to keep our buddies svelte and gorgeous while at the same time letting them know what good pals they are.

These treats are easy to make and received the Carlie seal of approval (in order to receive the Carlie seal of approval, Carlie must continue to look for more treats a full 30 seconds after it is eaten in an attempt to eat more. Quite scientific, I know. I rock that way.)

You will need:

2 cups of crunchy peanut butter
3 mashed bananas
2 eggs
1 cup water
3 cups flour

Here's how you make them:

1. Melt peanut butter in the microwave to make it more manageable.
2. Add bananas, water, and eggs and mix well.
3. Add flour, 1 cup at a time, and mix well.
4. Turn out batter onto a well greased cookie sheet and spread evenly.
5. Bake at 350F for 30 minutes.
6. Remove from oven and cut into 1" x 1" squares.
7. Return to oven and bake an additional 15 minutes.
8. Turn off oven and leave treats in it for an additional hour and a half.
9. Take the dogs to peanut butter nirvana.

With my cookie sheet I ended up with 144 treats

I Want To Rule my Own Tribe! More Triberr Basics.

2011-09-09T09:00:00.001-04:00

When you first join Triberr you will see that you are a tribe member of the tribe you were invited to and you also are given 3 tribes that you can rule. I would recommend being a member of a few tribes before attempting to start up a tribe of your own just so that you get a complete understanding of what Triberr is about and what it can really do. Once the time comes that you have rule your own tribe, there are several things you have to do to get that tribe off and running.

First, you must select one of the tribes you were given to rule and edit the information about the tribe. Your tribe will already be named, but you can change that name to reflect what your tribe is about. Let's say you want to start a tribe focusing on craft bloggers. One of your tribes was already named “Phantom Bloggers of the Fifth Realm” which is geeky cool and all, but has nothing to do with crafting. Hit edit, and you can rename the tribe “Crafty Bloggers” (or something much cooler than that).

Next you will see sections to fill out regarding the purpose of your tribe “to get lots of craft bloggers together so that we can reach millions of Tweeps”, etc. You can also talk a bit about any specifics that you are looking for “would love paper crafters and scrapbookers especially.” There is also a section for tribal requirements “75% of all posts must be devoted to crafts, no foul language, family content only, all ages, genders, walks of life encouraged to join in. Let's have fun!” This section must be filled out before you can start looking for members.

Now comes the difficult part. The first five members that you add to your tribe must be completely new to Triberr (and you are not included in this count). Tweet, put messages on forum boards on social networking sites that you belong to, hit up every contact site that you belong to in order to find these people. Give them some info on what Triberr is (you can direct them to my post “What is Triberr and why should I join?” and have them read the faq at Triberr.com.) Request their web page address (as you will want to check out their site and make sure that they fit your tribal vision) and their twitter name.

Once you have found a person that you are interested in, email them or contact them through twitter and make sure that they follow you and you follow them. They cannot join your tribe if not. Then go to the page for that tribe and click “Invite”, choose the tribe you want to invite them to, and add their Twitter id. At this point, hold your breath and hope they join. When they do, make sure to welcome them with open arms. They likely will have lots of questions about how Triberr works; for some quick answers you can refer them to my post “I'm on Triberr! Now what?!”

It can take some time before you find those first five members. Hopefully you will attract a few people who are already members of Triberr who want to join your tribe; enlist them to help you find a few newbies. Once you have those first five you can open your tribe to inbreeding and watch the requests flood your inbox! Once again, use all of your social networking sites; you can also go to the “Seeking Tribe Members” Bonfire to enlist new members. Be vigilant in sticking to your requirements so that your tribe is exactly as you picture it. This is your tribe, as Dino says, "Rule it wisely!"

My Birth Story featured on The Spit-Up Chronicles <3

2011-09-09T08:19:00.002-04:00

Please join me today over at The Spit-Up Chronicles as I share the story of William's birth (spoiler alert: he was a preemie and I turn into a pacing she-wolf.) Go to The Spit-Up Chronicles to read the whole story.

xo Erin

Things Change When You Get Older: Camping Edition

2011-09-08T09:23:00.002-04:00

I used to Love camping when I was a kid/tween. My cousin Rachael and I would travel around to various state parks and KOA campgrounds. And spend days relaxing, fishing, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, and just getting to know each other better. There is nothing like camping to get closer to family and friends. My grandfather would usually bring two tents, one for Rachael and I and one for grandma and him, outfitted with camp cots, lanterns, sheets, blankets, pillows and plenty of food and stuff to do. We would sit around the campfire at night doing metaphysical things (grandpa was a Rosicrucian and had to indoctrinate us a little) like changing the color of the fire with our minds (which really worked – one person would change the color and the others would shout out what color it was as soon as they saw it – they were more often right than wrong) and telling stories. Rachael, who was boy crazy, would drag me along as she scoped out the camp for cute boys. It was a blast. I Loved to camp.

This Labor Day weekend my family and I went camping with a group of friends at Mohican Adventures, which is directly connected to Mohican State Park in Loudenville, Ohio. The country in this part of Ohio is beyond beautiful; hundred year old oaks abound, along with conifers, ferns, wildflowers, and all manner of wildlife (we were continually pelted with caterpillars that were falling from the trees which kept the children endlessly fascinated). Directly across route 3 are many canoe liveries where you can rent rafts, canoes, kayaks, and intertubes and spend the day moseying down the Mohican River, which, again, is breathtaking. There are usually a lot of people on the river in the summer and a spirit of fun and friendship abounds. This isn't white water rafting or adrenaline junkie stuff; this is family fun, lazy days, and meandering waters.

If you feel so inclined, there is a treetop tour that involves rappelling, ziplines, and rope bridges, as well as horseback riding, mountain biking, and lots of hiking. Loudenville is a charming little town with boutique stores, one of which carries a huge selection of American Indian crafts, turquoise, vases, etc.

So I used to love camping. And I still enjoyed kicking back with friends, watching the children explore the wilderness and have a Fantastic time, sitting around the fire, all of that stuff. But I gotta tell you that when you are nearing 40, have fibromyalgia, the weather starts off at 100F (37.7C for my metric friends), it rains for an entire day, and then dips to the 60s (15.5C), you spend a day fighting your husband who is in some sort of finish line competition on the canoe trip, camping can be quite sucky. Did you hear the large sucking sound coming from Northeastern Ohio? That was my screaming body which could barely move after trying to sleep on the ground in a sleeping bag that has long since lost its loft.William kept on begging not to sleep in the tent house but the brick house with the beds, which would be our house. By the second night, I had retreated to our car, which at least had some padding, even if it doesn't offer the most ergonomic sleeping environment. By the third night, Collin, William, and I were all sleeping in the car just to get out of the wet air. Which I guess goes to show that I am not a tween anymore. And we desperately need an large air mattress. And a camp site with an electric hookup for a fan. Which Mohican Adventures does not have.

So will I become an intrepid camper? Maybe. As long as the aforementioned air mattress is involved. And good friends and food come with the price of admission.

Super Delicious S'mores Bars

2011-09-06T22:02:00.002-04:00

Before we went camping over Labor Day weekend I whipped up a batch of these super delicious cookie bars. They are really easy to make and use only a few ingredients. You might just melt into a pool of mush when you try them. They are best eaten just a little hot (or with a spoon right out of the oven, if you just can't wait).

You will need:

11 full sized graham crackers, made into crumbs in a food processor
1-1/2 cups melted butter
2 eggs
8 regular sized Hershey bars
A bag of mini marshmallows

Here's how you make them.

1. Pre-heat oven to 350F.
2. Combine melted butter, 3 cups of the graham cracker crumbs, and eggs in a large bowl. Mix well.
3. Spread mixture evenly into the bottom of a 9x13 pan.
4. Place whole chocolate bars in a single layer over the graham cracker mixture. Cover from edge to edge.
5. Spread bag of mini marshmallows evenly over chocolate.
6. Sprinkle remaining graham cracker crumbs over marshmallows.
7. Bake for about 15 minutes, check at 10. Bake until marshmallows are as brown as you would like them to be.
8. Let cool considerably, or at least until chocolate is cool enough that it wont burn your mouth to a pulp, and then eat lots of amazing s'mores bars!

I'm on Triberr! So Now What??

2011-09-06T10:34:00.004-04:00

So you are a new member of Triberr. And you find yourself scratching your head wondering what to do next. What the heck is karma? And this inbreeding, what"s up with that? This article will hopefully clear up any questions that you have and make you a full fledged Triberr chief!

Tribes – a tribe is a group of like minded bloggers who join together to expand their Twitter reach. The hope is that if you extend your reach, more and more people will read our blog and your traffic will go through the roof. There are a few aspects of being a good tribe member that you should know. First an foremost, the larger the tribe, the greater your reach. Each tribe starts with 7 openings. Additional openings must be bought at a price of 30 bones. If a tribe member has extra bones burning a hole in their pocket, it is nice to contribute to the tribe by buying new slots. This takes the burden of adding all of the slots off of the tribe leader and increases the size of the tribe more quickly. In addition, keep comments nice on your tribe's page. You don't want your other tribe members to dislike you: remember, they don't have to send out your tweets!

Bones – this is the currency on Triberr. You are awarded a certain number of bones when you sign up to spend as you wish; once they are gone, they either must be bought (at pretty reasonable prices) or earned by giving your tribe members positive karma. You can rack up bones rather quickly by checking in a few times a day and giving good karma.

Here are the prices for those that I have come across:

30 bones – cost to add a slot to a tribe

50 bones – cost to become a member of a tribe you are being inbred into

70 bones – cost to open a tribe you rule to inbreeding

Karma – on your home page you will see a list of posts that are scheduled to be sent out by your tribe members. Beside each of these posts is an area with a thumbs up and thumbs down sign. By clicking on the thumbs up sign, you are giving that post positive karma. Each time you give positive karma you have the potential to earn additional bones. Make it a point to give your tribe mates positive karma. It will make them feel good and you get a reward, too. Remember, what goes around comes around!

Inbreeding – once you are a member of a tribe you can receive invitations from other tribal chieftains to join their tribes. This is called inbreeding. If you want to find other tribes to join, click on “Bonfires” and then find the section about tribes seeking additional members. Be sure you are a good fit for that tribe before requesting a place in it as you will need to pay 50 bones to join if you are given an invitation. It sucks if you pay those hard earned bones only to have to leave a tribe because you aren't what they are looking for. Also, the ruler of the tribe can kick you out any time without warning or reason. It's happened to me, and it smarts.

Bonfires – this is the forum section of Triberr. Any question you have can usually be answered here. Read the discussions, interact, become a member of the community.

Triberr is a great community to belong to. Not only will you reach more Tweeps, but you will gain new contacts, come up with blogging ideas, and become a more active member of the blogging community. Enjoy your Triberr journey!

In a few days I will post on how to start up a tribe of your own. Stay posted!

I am looking for Parent Bloggers who write original content who are new to Triberr. While the occasional giveaway or review is okay, your site may not be primarily a review/deal/giveaway site. If you are interested in joining Triberr and fit this description, please leave me a comment. I'll be a good ruler, I promise!

My Baby is a Pre-Schooler

2011-09-06T08:18:00.001-04:00

Life moves much too quickly. My little 5 pound baby is starting pre-school today. Okay. I don't think I can type any more as I'm getting misty. Have a good day at school, my William.

What is Triberr and why Should I Join?

2011-08-31T20:36:00.002-04:00

You've heard about it, you've seen the tweets. You might even be in a tribe but you have no idea what you are supposed to do now. I'd like to introduce you to the world of Triberr, the reach multiplier.

There are discussions all the time about how to drive more traffic to blog sites. Triberr is a tool that does just that. Triberr is made up of individual tribes, the members of which typically have similar blogs or simply are joining together to reach new people. It works this way: each member of a tribe sends out automatically generated tweets with the names of the other members blog posts. Let's assume that you have 10 Twitter followers and you have 10 tribe members, each of whom have 10 members. This means that info about your latest blog post will be sent out to 100 people.

You can approve or disapprove which tweets you send out from your homepage so if you don't think your twitter followers will appreciate tweet X from tribe mate Y, you don't have to send it.

I currently have around 1150 Twitter followers. Through my participation in Triberr, my reach is currently close to 120,000 Twitter users. Traffic to my blog has increased three fold, although the number of comments I get has not.

If Triberr sound like something you would be interested in, I am starting a tribe of parent Bloggers who publish original content. You may have the occasional review or giveaway on your blog, but reviews, deals, and giveaways cannot be the primary focus of your blog (there are a lot of tribes on Triberr for deal bloggers).
If you are interested and are new to Triberr, either leave a post with your twitter name and blog address or tweet me @erinswallace. Any other questions? Ask me!

Tomorrow's post will be about the ins and outs of Triberr: bones, karma, etc. See you then.

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How Do You Deal with Writer's Block?

2011-08-31T12:52:00.001-04:00

So yesterday I was on Twitter and one of my contacts was suffering with a huge case of writer's block. I told her that they way I deal with it is just to sit down and write anything, as long as you are writing. That's been my strategy for as long as I can remember.

And then today came. I woke up and my brain, which is usually brimming over with blog ideas, is sluggish and dry. I have writer's block, which seems somehow like some evil karma coming back to slap me in the face. So I am doing what I told my Tweep to do and writing. Anything.

When my brain freezes up like this it's like one of those natural dams. Things have been flowing along quite nicely then all of the sudden silt and dross and decaying leaves block up everything (because it usually is the silt and dross in my life that clogs me up). The pressure of the flow builds up, but though it yearns to break free, there is nothing that can break the dam. Until one day, a huge swell comes through and the ideas flow again. You never know when that swell will happen, so, like any writer, you fret and continue to claw away, begging for any spark of inspiration.

I went to several different writing prompt sites today, looking for that spark. A few prompts were, quite frankly, ridiculous, and a few informed me that it was free writing day. How's that for a slap in the face? If I could write freely, would I be looking for a prompt?

So I took my own advice, and here's the result. I can't say that it freed me in any way, but at least I've gotten some words out and the page is no longer blank.

What do you do when you have writer's block? Is there a process or a piece of advice you follow? Do you have a muse, a fail safe? Millions of writers would love to know.

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21 Tips for a Successful Yard Sale

2011-08-29T20:41:00.002-04:00

A yard sale is a lot of work but can be a real money maker if you know the "tricks of the trade." Here are my tips for having a fabulous sale that brings in lots of profits.

1. Pick a Date, but don't plan too far in advance. If Tim doesn't set a date for our sales I won't start the actual work of the sale. Picking a date gives me a deadline to work toward, and gets my tookas in gear.

2. Check the Weather. Since you aren't planning too far in advance, pick a day that has a good forecast. People will come out in hot weather, but only the most hardcore will come to a sale in the rain.

3. Advertise, Advertise, Advertise. Put an ad in the local newspaper and in the small papers in close towns. You can place notices for yard sales for free on YardSale.com and Craigslist. Put something on your personal facebook account (keeping in mind that you will have to let people know your address).

4. Make plenty of Signage. Make sure you have signs out directing people to the sale. In addition, there are a lot of people out there that don't get the paper or check the internet for sales. But if they see a sign for your sale and they are close by they will stop and see what you have for sale. Signage is a must.

5. Price Everything. Many people want to get in and out of the sale with minimal interaction and if the item they want isn't priced, they aren't going to ask about it. They'd rather leave without it than have to ask.

6. Price to sell. People these days don't have a lot of money to spend. They expect to get a large bag full of stuff for 5 or 10 dollars. Pricing is a tricky business. Room to barter down has to be built in but if items are priced too high customers will walk away empty handed. I always search the web for "yard sale prices"; there are a number of good guides available.

7. Have your sale in a location that can be seen well from the street so that those that didn't get the word can stop when they see it.

8. The more you have to sell, the better. Hit up your parents, friends, etc., for things they want to get rid of. Passersby are more likely to stop if they see a large variety of lots of stuff.

9. Assure plenty of parking. If they can't park, they can't stop!

10. Make your house look inviting. It may go without saying, but mow the lawn, clean up the flowerbeds and the porch. The friendlier looking your house is, the more customers you'll have.

11. Set up your goods logically. Put all of the toiletries in one place, the books and electronics in another. People don't want to sift through everything. If they have to, they just might leave.

12. Stage your sale. Make nice looking displays of your goods. Concentrate specifically on items geared toward women, as they especially will appreciate a nice looking display.

13. Make sure your items are clean. No one wants to buy a dirty shirt or a dusty table.

14. Make your walkway hazard free, as handicapped accessible as possible, and allow room for 2+ people between tables. You will get quite a few elderly people at your sales. If they don't think they can navigate your aisles, they wont bother getting out of their cars.

15. Start your sale with plenty of change. You don't want to have to turn someone away because they only have a twenty and you don't have enough ones to make change.

16. Have plenty of empty bags of all sorts of sizes. Offer a bag to someone who has gathered up a lot of items. If they can carry things easier they might buy more, not to mention that it's good customer service.

17. Keep you dogs out of view. The dog lovers out there might not agree, but there are a lot of people who do not relish the thought of being jumped on or accosted by your pups. Even is they aren't jumpers, barkers, etc., don't give people the opportunity to skip by your sale because they see a dog.

18. When advertising, use the following keywords if they apply: multifamily, huge, collectibles, tools, household items, items for baby/toddler, and cheap. They will draw people in.

19. Take early birds. Your sale doesn't start until 8, but a few customers show up before then. Let them shop while you set up. You never know if they'll buy and you don't want to lose the money that they'll spend.

20. Smile! Have you ever been to a yard sale where the people holding it are so surly and mean looking that you want to run? Don't be that sales person. Say hello and be nice. Your customers will appreciate it.

21. Don't hover. Let your customers shop without feeling like they have to buy. Lay back and make your sale low pressure. Let your customers relax and they just may stay longer.

Do you have any other tips? Let me know! Let's all have fantastic sales and make fab cash!

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A Pleasant Encounter

2011-08-28T20:56:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure where it came from, but the other day this was waiting for me as I left the house. A little pleasant encounter.

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When 3-5's Sing, Hilarity Ensues

2011-08-28T14:03:00.001-04:00

This is the first time our 3-5 class has ever sang for the church. We have a few physical comedians in the making, it seems. Will is the second from the left.

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Two Easy Peasy Dog Treat Recipes

2011-08-27T18:01:00.001-04:00

We are in the process of crate training and house training Carly and Ellie. As any dog owner knows, training always goes better with treats. I was getting store bought treats, but at the rate we are going through them, we'd have been bankrupt by the end of the week. So I took matters into my own hands and baked up some treats for my sweets. The first uses sweet potatoes and beef base and the second ground meat, after that the recipes are basically the same with a few tweaks.

Cheesy Sweet Potato Treats

You'll Need:
2 cups mashed sweet potato
1 stick butter
2-3 cups of flour
1 cup water
1 TBSP beef base
1 egg
2 cups cheddar cheese

1. Melt the butter in a large mixing bowl using your microwave.
2. Add sweet potato and egg and mix well.
3. Dissolve beef base in water then add to mixture.
4. Fold in flour one cup at a time until you form a non-sticky dough ball, similar in consistency to bread dough.
5. Fold in cheese.
6. On a well floured surface either pat or roll doug until it is approx. 1/8 to 1/4 inch thick. My small dog likes them thin, my beagle, thick.
7. Using a knife, cut the dough into 1in x 2in strips.
8. Place on well greased cookie sheets. You can place them very close together.
9. Bake at 300F for 45 min to an hour. Treats should be firm to the touch.
10. Turn off the oven and keep treats in oven for another hour and a half.
11. Give Fido a homemade treat!

Cheeseburger Treats

You'll Need:
1 pound of ground meat, your choice
1 cup of hot water
1 stick butter
2 eggs
3-4 cups flour
2 cups sharp cheddar cheese

1. Melt butter as before
2. Add ground meat and hot water to a food processor and puree meat.
3. Add meat to butter, stir together.
4. Add eggs.
5. Add flour as before until you get a nice dough ball that feels like bread dough.
6. Add cheese
7. Roll, cut, and bake as before.
8. Show Fifi how much you love her!

These treats are really crunchy, so if your dog is smaller you'll want to roll them out thinner. Carly and Ellie love them, hope your best friends do, too.

Pictures are from We Heart It, but our dogs look just the same!

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Slime and Play-Doh recipes, Oh My!

2011-08-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

So in continuation of Martin King's recollection of the slimy, icky things we loved as kids, I thought I'd tell you how to make Slime and Play-Doh at home. They really are easy to make, and the kids will LOVE them.

SLIME!

source

You will need:

A 4-oz bottle of Elmer's gel glue

Borax

water

food coloring

glitter is optional

1. Take half a cup of hot water and add borax slowly until it stops dissolving. If it's cloudy, that's okay.

2. Stir 4 ounces of glue into 1 cup of water. Gel glue creates see through slime, white glue will create opaque slime.

3. Add food coloring to the glue solution. Get creative! Add glitter for "princess" slime. Radioactive slime is produced by using 2 drops of yellow and 1 drop of green food coloring.

4. Mix 1/3 cup borax solution with 1 cup glue solution. If you want to make bigger batches, just combine the two solutions in a ratio of 1 part borax solution to 3 parts glue solution.

5. Get Slimy!!

Play-Doh Madness!

source

You will need:

2 cups flour

2 cups warm water

1 cup salt

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil

food coloring

1. Mix all of the ingredients together and stir over low heat until it is no longer sticky and thickens.

2. Let the mixture cool until it is safe enough to handle.

3. Turn the dough out onto a clean counter or non-stick mat and knead until the dough is smooth.

4. Separate into a few smaller batches.

5. Add food coloring by making a divot in the center of each ball and kneading the color through (similar to adding eggs into homemade noodles). Keep adding dye until you get the intensity of color that you want.

6. Make something cool!

Store both the Slime and Play-Doh in air-tight plastic bags.

Sticky: Martin King's #100BlogFest

2011-08-25T03:00:00.001-04:00

I am thrilled to be part of Martin King's #100BlogFest: 100 blogs, 100 posts. All of his posts have focused on childhood memories and today's is one that I am more than familiar with, as we had gobs of ooey, gooey, messy stuff to play with as children. I won't keep you waiting, the man of the hour, here's Martin King!

Sticky

Sticky, gloopy, slimy, messy and silly. Do you know what I am talking about? These are just a few of the words to describe today’s memories.

We are talking about those fun substances that every kid loved to play with and without further ado, we begin with Slime. It started off as a shocking bogey coloured green and you would have running out of your nose or put in your hair. In fact you would put anywhere that no other substance would dare to go. The only problem with it was it got dirty and didn’t look like fun anymore.

Then there was Silly Putty and I’m pretty certain it came in a plastic egg. It was fun for a bit, but then it lost its kudos pretty quickly.

And then there was the pretender to the thorn, Playdo. It came in lots of funky colours and an array of fun toys to play with like the barbershop machine and you could make someone’s hair grow and then chop it off again. There was also a recipe for making your own which was great, but it smelt like salty food stuff.

But the king of messy stuff had to be Plastecine. It came in lots of different coloured strips and you could make just about anything out of it. They even made a cartoon character called Morph out of the stuff. We would play with it for hours, totally unaware that half of it had got stuck in the carpet. But it didn’t matter how hard you tried, all the colours would end up mixing together and you would end up with one big lump of it in brown.

These blogs are all about fun and sharing. Thank you for reading a ‘#100blogfest’ blog. Please follow this link to find the next blog in the series: http://martinkingauthor.com/blog/7094550076

Sponsor Dropped Stitches through Barter or Cash (September)

2011-08-24T16:33:00.004-04:00

Dropped Stitches is looking for September sponsors!

This is a great way to advertise your etsy shop, new blog, or other site.

I currently have over 1200 subscribers between Google Reader, Feed Burner, and Blog Lovin'.

On Twitter, I have 1,050 subscribers and am adding more daily. My personal Facebook page reaches 493 people and my new blog fan page has 63 followers (all posts are published to both pages). I am a member of Triberr, and through my tribes my tweets reach 54,750 people. Dropped Stitches had 5500 pageviews last month with approximately 2400 unique page views, which was up 18% from last month.

I am offering sponsorship opportunities by either buying a slot through Paypal or to sponsors of giveaways on the blog. Adds are 150x75 pixels and will be placed in the order payment is received. They will be located in the top left sidebar. You may order multiple months if you desire. Each sponsor will get a short write up on the blog dispersed throughout the month in the order in which payment was received; giveaway sponsors will have their write-up on the giveaway post.

Giveaway sponsors: You item must be valued at least $10. I would like to do a giveaway each Wednesday; I am focusing on products that will pamper moms and other women (creams, soaps, jewelry, candles, etc.). If your item is over ten dollars your add will remain on the blog longer, each $10 will earn 1 month of ad space. I use Rafflecoptor for giveaways.

150 x 75 pixels

$10 per month

Full payment is due before ad is placed.
Paypal, cashier's checks, and money orders will be accepted.
Ad prices will be locked in for one year after date of purchase.

Please email me at wallacedesignsoh@gmail.com to discuss these opportunities.

Joy

2011-08-24T13:18:00.001-04:00

I have been in a funk, which I suppose is understandable. So today I have decided to focus on joy. For it is joy beyond all understanding that awaits us.

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Bittersweet Life

2011-08-22T17:49:00.001-04:00

I've written a lot about my grandpa Herb on this blog; about his Honor Flight to see the WWII Veterans Memorial, about being inducted into the Ohio Veterans Hall of Fame, and most recently about dealing with his impending death and the feelings behind that. Last Wednesday he passed away in hospice after falling and hitting his head. He was 95.

He had wanted to "go home" for a long time. My grandmother and his sisters and brothers have all died. I know he missed them, was tired of the pain from his cancer and simply being old. I think he felt a little lost in the world. He was a strong believer in Christ, very involved with the Methodist church. He was a good, sweet man and I know where he is in glory right now.

He was the last of my grandparents. My grandparents have always been important to me, so I'm feeling a bit adrift right now. It seems that the natural order of things is all askew, that life is a little too bittersweet.

I have been staring at that word, "bittersweet," and I don't know what else to say. I think I haven't fully processed all of my emotions yet and so I don't event know what I feel. Of course I miss him, and all of them, but should I feel more, or something else. I suppose, like with all things, time will reveal the answers.

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House Dreaming: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-16T23:10:00.001-04:00

Since the earliest days of the internet I have spent countless hours searching for the perfect house in England. My dream home has always been in England, surrounded by acres of countryside, near a quaint village, and grand, but not too grand. Boston Mill fits the bill nicely. Read the realtors description (your for 875,500 pounds) and see if you agree.

*Hall *Drawing Room *Sitting Room *Library *Cosy snug *Farmhouse Kitchen *Cloakroom & Boot Room *Small Cellar *Two Staircases *Landing *Five Bedrooms (Three En Suite) *Family Cloaks / Wash Room *Stone Stable and Log Store *Modern Block Of Four Utility Sheds Including Boiler & Laundry Rooms *Holding Yard With Two Secure Garages *Double Open Garages *Stunning Formal Gardens In Front Of The House Situation and Description

Enjoying a wonderful riverside setting with some great views over the beautiful Tamar Valley ‘Boyton Mill’ is approached down a lovely driveway lined by hedges and areas of lawn. As you turn the last corner and drive over the bridge which crosses the leat the full size of the millers house becomes apparent, a delight to behold with its stunning gardens, leat runs, bridges and wooded paddocks.

Early occupation of the area around Boyton Mill is suggested by an iron age camp above The Mill. On the properties higher ground there are also signs of traditional Saxon field systems. The main house appears to be constructed of stone and cob rendered externally under a slate roof. It has been well maintained and provides comfortable family accommodation which is well laid out and centrally heated. The listed Mill building to one side is believed to have been rebuilt during the early part of the 19th Century. Although the leat no longer runs the wheel still turns as does the machinery inside. Some of the original mill stones have been retained, one being used on one of the properties terraces to create a circular table.

The Miller’s House is believed to date from the early 16th century and has been extended during recent years to provide additional accommodation. The master bedroom suite now has its own staircase rising up from the spacious drawing room below whilst the main landing in the older part of the house is accessed through a cosy snug set on a mezzanine level.

“Boyton Mill” enjoys a truly wonderful location about one mile from the village of Boyton which has country lanes in all directions around it. The village has a church and village hall. Launceston is some six miles to the south providing a full range of social, commercial and shopping facilities. To the north of Boyton are the stunning stretches of north Devon and Cornwall with the coastal cliffs being interspersed with quaint fishing villages and sandy beaches.

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Back To The Motherland: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-15T22:59:00.001-04:00

I am an Irish American. With a name like Erin, you probably figured that out already. On my mom's side, we are descendants of the Howards (who really are Welsh, but also lived in Ireland) and my dad's grandparents were Pierson and Rose Gilliland, who were first generation Americans; my grandma Sally, their daughter, married Harold Harris, also Irish. So I'm pretty much an Irish gal who was born in America.

I have always wanted to see Ireland. To see the land where my ancestors came from, to breathe the air, to see the green, green fields, to drive the narrow country roads and eat at a pub while drinking some warm beer (dark beer, please, not this yellow stuff we American's call beer). I want to walk the streets of Dublin and Galway, stay in some country castle turned hotel-estate, and eat corned beef and cabbage where my great-great grandmother learned to cook it.

When I was in England I met an older Irish man who on first glance though I was Irish, too. He told me that Ireland was calling me home, and that I had her soil in my veins. If that's not a call to the motherland, I don't know what is.

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OCD Me: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-14T20:15:00.001-04:00

So this is how it is. I'm leaving the house and I reach in my bag for my keys where I always (ALWAYS) put them. But they aren't there, and there really isn't much in my purse.

So I tear through the house like a green banshee, rip the place apart, get all "No wire hangers" Mommy Dearest crazy, and I still don't find them.

I freak out about my keys. I might not know where my wallet is, there's no money pr personal data to be had from stealing it, but if I loose my keys I go bonkers.

And you know what? When I was in medical school I did a rotation in Portsmouth, which was really far away from where I lived in Belpre. The last day, I'm all packed up and ready to go home but the doc I'm following wants my help one last time in surgery. I change and since I don't have a locker I put my clothes and keys on the bench in the locker room. And when I get back, my keys are gone. Nowhere. I had to call a locksmith to get a key for my car and hope my landlord was home to let me in my apartment after my three hour drive. The moral of all of this is that I LIVED. The earth didn't end because I lost my keys. But I'm still nuts when it comes to them.

So in my riot through the house I finally decide to return to look in my purse again. They are there. They were all along. Every time this happens, they are always in my purse where I ALWAYS put them. I guess the moral to this story is that I am a little nuts, the keys are always in the purse, take a chill pill. Or a little goblin is messing with me. One or the other.

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The Marysville Zoo and Aquarium

2011-08-14T13:34:00.001-04:00

So I think I'm going to start charging admission to everyone who walks through my front door because I am running a zoo. At this moment we have three cats (Quickie, Linus, and Foxy; for you long time readers, Henry ran away and Stanley went to a kitty retirement home), a hedgehog, four fish, two new dogs, and a Texas-sized cricket. Yes, a cricket. He's decided that our foyer is a nice home, and he doesn't bother anyone, so he can stay.

The two dogs. Ahem. I am a cat person but I love all animals. It's just that dogs are lots and lots of work. Ellie, a dachshund/cocker spaniel mix, came to us from a church friend, eldest child begged and pleaded and she would do all of the work, etc, etc. Then brother Collin put forth the fact that he has never had a pet of his own, his grades went up, he's been more responsible, could he please have a dog? And of course he'll take care of it. He got a sweet beagle from the pound named Carly.

Why do we believe our kids when they say these things? It's all well and good for the first few days until the novelty wears off and then guess who's taking care of the dogs? Mama, that's who. Ellie is the most resistant-to-housetraining dog I have ever known; I'm going to have to crate her all day and night if she doesn't get her act together. But she's cute and loves me like I am her god. Carly's a sweet girl who needs alot of attention as she came from a neglectful and abusive home. She's got 2 years of no love to catch up on and she laps up each second of it.

So there's my zoo, complete with insect exhibition. Haven't figured out admission, will let you all know when we officially open to the public. Jack Hanna, eat your heart out!

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My Favorite Band/Musician: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-13T23:18:00.001-04:00

I can't really say that through the entirety of my life I've had only one favorite artist. There are many that I love; how can I pick just one?

When I was a child it was pretty much all about Donna Summer, Fleetwood Mac, and The Beatles. The soundtrack to "Urban Cowboy" and "The Jazz Singer" were always on the top of my playlist, too.

Through my teen years, I was crazy in love with Bono. U2 was, bar none, the greatest band in the universe to me. But after "Joshua Tree" they changed their style and it was never the same for me. I wanted the angst, not the pop.

I learned to appreciate Earth, Wind, and Fire, Joni Mitchell (at the top of my list; she is a genius), Led Zeppelin, and jazz greats like Lee Morgan, Dave Brubeck, and Erroll Garner at that time. My mom took me on a musical journey away from pop and toward everything great. She's a music encyclopedia with great taste.

In college my roommate introduced me to the Indigo Girls (and she learned about Joni from me). I was developing a taste for folk that I carry to this day.

Nowadays, I have such eclectic tastes that if you put my iPod on shuffle you'll hear Jay-Z, Rubinstein, Justin Timberlake, Iron and Wine, Zero 7, Luciana Sousa, Yassou N'Dour, Coldplay; the list goes on and on. Oh, and the Beasties Boys! I LOVE the Beastie Boys.

I've always dreamed about owning a radio station that plays everything, all genres, just as long as it's good music.

How about you? What is your favorite band or artist? Is there someone sort of obscure but great that you love? Tell me about them - I love to discover great new music!

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Now and Then (it's the 70's, baby!): 30 Days About Me

2011-08-12T20:41:00.002-04:00

I'm not exactly sure how old I am in this picture but I'm guessing about 6 (so that's 32 years ago, folks). I had just gotten this groovy coat and was modeling it in my grandparent's apartment. I think the foot at the left belongs to my grandpa; when I look at this picture it transports me back in time to a time when I spent as much time as I could in that apartment. I dream about it and my grandparents at least once a week. Oh! And I would be completely remiss if I didn't mention. The Dorothy Hamill hair cut, the style of my youth.

And then there's me now. I don't know what to say except that's what I look like when I have makeup done and I've spent some time on my hair. That's me, all right.

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Something I Hate: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-11T22:42:00.001-04:00

When I was young I was ridiculously picky. There was very little that I would eat. Nowadays I'll try just about anything, but there are a few food items that I simply despise.

Pimentos. Don't even get me started. They completely ruin the flavor of anything they are added to. I am so disappointed when I order something at a restaurant and they've jazzed it up with pimentos. Makes the dish entirely inedible.

Melon, any type. I've never liked it. I've really tried. People eating it seem to enjoy it so much. I really, really don't.

Cilantro. I actually read something about this in the Wall Street Journal. Cilantro hatred may actually be a genetic trait, and the theory goes that those that hate is cannot actually smell the pleasant citrus odors that those who like it detect. All I really know is that it is vile.

Root Beer. What I really hate is when I order my daughter root beer (because she loves it) and I order my diet soda and they don't mark the lids and I take a long draw of wretched root beer. I can't stand it! I know this is another one of those everyone-loves-it-so-why-don't-you things, but I just hate the stuff.

So there you go. If you really want to keep me away, make a melon pimento cilantro salad with root beer on the side (although, that might just keep Anyone away!).

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A Photo that Makes you Smile: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-09T21:06:00.001-04:00

This photo was part of an assignment where an egg was used as the subject of the photo. I took a lot of photos of that egg, many of which were probably more "artistic" than this, but I love this one. I love the way William is holding the egg, the gentle way his hands are caressing it. Of course, he's my sugar bunch so I love everything about him, but I just love his little hands. He was thrilled to be part of the shoot and I still can see his smile as he holds the egg and the photo is taken. I love my little boy and I love this photo.

Yesterday I did a video for my post but I can't get it uploaded on my phone. So stay tuned, folks, and I'll post my clog post as soon as I can.

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What is you Favorite Quote: 30 Days About Me

2011-08-07T11:08:00.001-04:00

Yes, this is really a prayer, not a quote. But it's what immediately came to mind. It is how I have tried to live my life and when my walk is faltering it steels me.

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It's a Spotted Touch Me Not!

2011-08-06T20:37:00.002-04:00

No one seemed to know what my mystery flower is, so I took matters into my own hands and looked up wildflowers on the internet. I have Spotted Touch Me Nots. They are called that because when you touch the seed pods they explode (I've never done this, will have to try). Also, the juice from the stem is known as a treatment for poison ivy, which I currently have on my arm and grows rampant in our yard (the original owner didn't like kids cutting through his yard, so he let it grow out of control. Yay, original owner. My poison ivy sensitivity would like to have a word with you, and the shingles they triggered a few years ago).

So, it really is a delightful flower which will spread like a demon but is really easy to pull out in places you don't want it. I love it and any shady spot in your garden would love it, too!

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