My IOP evaluation was today and if you call crying for an hour while I talked about why I needed to be there it went well. I can't go into a lot of detail because it involves a lot of family issues, but the long and short of it is that I am incredibly overwhelmed, feel under appreciated, and constantly stressed out. Also, they believe my depression is cyclical as every time I've been in an IOP or hospital it's been in Septermber. It's not the greatest spending your birthday ina psychiatric hospital.
My meds aren't right so they are going to find me a psychiatrist and therapist who can manage my depression better than my family doctor (who freaks out a little bit every time I tell him I need a refill on my anti-anxiety medication - never asked for it too soon, have been on the same dose for 3 years, and yet it's addictive, so most non-psych docs freak a little when writing for it.) My last psychiatrist refused to treat anxiety, so I'm not going back to her.
So I was sent home, was told to take my anti-anxiety meds, and to come back tomorrow at 9 am. Then I'll have to sit in a little circle and tell everyone why I'm there. Which is so complicated I don't even know where to start. These people are good people, though. They helped me so much a few years ago and I'm happy to let them help me now. So that's my basketcase day.