I Love You All, Thank You So Much

I would like to offer a very heartfelt

to all of my readers.

Your outpouring of condolences after Ellie's death made the adjustment to life without her easier.

How could I have thought for even a second that I would quit blogging?

It is moments like these that help me remember how wonderful this community is.

I truly love all of you.

We got her back today. This poem, which has meant so much to me in the past, was given to me by the kind people at Rutherford Funeral home in Columbus, OH.

Goodbye, Ellie Belly

This is going to be a difficult post.  Remember the puppy that I complained about having in our house because it was supposed to be my daughter's but I was the one taking care of it?  Well, she became my dog and despite being a bad dog I have never loved a dog so much in my life.  She just turned 18 months old.

She chewed up Everything she could get to.  She destroyed one of our chairs, countless shoes, many of William's toys, and anything else that seemed chewable to her.  She escaped from the house on many occasions and got into multiple neighbor's trash.  She domineered over our beagle, who completely gave up ever having a dog toy of her own.

But she would curl up in my lap and tilt her head just so.  She was a dachshund/cocker spaniel mix so was little, but I think she would have killed anyone who tried to do anything to any member of our family.  A few days ago when I was trying to get our beagle, Carly, to come to me, she looked at me, ran to Carly, chomped onto her ear and tried to drag her to me.  She was too smart for her own good.  She could jump up until her eyes were level with mine and was the fastest dog I have ever seen. She was soft and loved to have her belly scratched.  She loved to lick my nose.  I loved her.

On Sunday before church she made one of her escapes and ran right into the path of a van.  I saw the whole thing.  And there was nothing I could do.  She tried to pick up her head once and then she was dead.  The couple was so apologetic, but it wasn't their fault.  She just ran right in front of them.  I hugged the woman, who was horrified, and sent them on their way.  And then I wrapped up my Ellie in a towel and sat on the porch holding her and sobbing for about an hour.  A local funeral home took her to be cremated and the men who met me there held me while I pet and said goodbye to her.  My son sat on my lap and held me for hours while we both cried. He loved her, too.

I miss my bad dog.  I haven't been in this big of a funk about losing a pet in years and years.  Carly is confused and alternates between sniffing around for Ellie and looking at me like I can explain where Ellie went.  She wont leave my side.  She still won't go near the pet toys.  They were never hers.

I loved you so much, little Ellie.  Wait for me across the bridge.  I can't wait to scratch your belly again.