Christmas and the Introvert.

This may shock you (and I am also being a bit facetious), but I am a HUGE introvert. I'm a Myers-Briggs INFJ, which is like the height of introversion. Christmas is not the easiest time of year for me. Please don't misunderstand me. I love to give presents and watch the kids rip into their packages. I Love celebrating the birth of my Savior. My nativity, passed down from my grandmother to my mom to me is one of my most valued possessions. I have an inordinate love of Christmas music (if you have Spotify, look up my Christmas list. It's not mixed well, but it has songs I love on it, there's a bit of everything, and there's 7 hours of music). I love the lights and decorations and fluffy snowfalls.

But here's the thing about Christmas. The shops become overwhelmingly crowded. Everyone is out finding the perfect gift. Black Friday is positively frightening. The pace becomes more frenetic. Then there are the parties. If you are an extrovert it is important to understand that parties are a bit like putting a toe into the lake of hell for the introvert. We aren't especially good at the schmooze. We can't stand being interrupted, not because we are offended but because it makes us feel undervalued, and this happens quite frequently at gatherings. There are lots and lots of people, some who will probably be obnoxious and drunk. This is true even if you are friends with everyone who will be at the party. Parties are exhausting. I spend my time at the daydreaming about being at home knitting.

My daughter is the polar opposite of me in that she is the most extroverted extrovert in the world. She thrives on being surrounded by people and needs to be always busy. She can't be silent. And if she has to be, she texts. When Christmas rolls around and she gets to decorate she tends to go into overdrive. For the most introverted introvert this can be a bit overwhelming. This year, I let her do her thing with her boyfriend and William and hid in my bedroom.

Introverts need to take special care to make time for themselves during the holidays. This is a time of reflection, grace, love, and miracles; we introverts need to be still and quiet to appreciate the wonder of this season. The best Christmases I have ever had weren't rushed or over-scheduled, my shopping was done well in advance of the crowds, adequate time was spent in the morning opening presents and savoring the day before family visits were even considered, and, imagine this, I took a nap.

This time of year is too special to be dreaded. There was a time that I really didn't like Christmas because I was thrust into situations that are too much for any introvert. It wasn't until I realized how to be an introvert at Christmas and not compromise my needs that Christmas became alive for me.

Knitterly Christmasy Goodness

I have been a knitting fool this Christmas season. I have finished a mystery project (can't speak of it as recipient reads the blog) and two hats that came out so fab! The first is the Jacques Cousteau hat, chosen first because of the cool decrease pattern on the crown and second because the recipient will appreciate that it is the Jacques Cousteau hat.

by Hestia6

It was an easy knit and I love the crown so much that this may be my go to hat pattern from now on.

I also made the Striped Hat from Debbie Bliss Knitting, Fall/Winter 2011. It is shown on a woman, but I made it for a boy. It is a slouchy hat and really on trend and a really quick knit. I didn't make it as long as the pattern called for because I didn't want it to look like Goofy's hat, and I'm happy with the way it came out.

© mahrle

I used Knit Picks Wool of the Andes and I LOVE it! I am a total Knit Picks convert. Great low prices, quality yarns, fast shipping, a huge variety of colors, what's not to love? I find myself stroking the hats because they are so alpaca soft. I am in love.

I have cast on Somerset vs. Norway, a gorgeous set of Norwegian design mittens featuring hares. I am using some of the Knit Picks yarns that I bought with chocolate brown as the background color and avacado green as the pattern color. This is my first set of these mittens and I am excited.

by Nethya

by Nethya

And some future project ideas:

If I get some cash for Christmas it is earmarked to go toward a Season 14 Doctor Who scarf (it's the shortest, at 8-10 feet long). From my elementary years, when I would run home to watch Dr. Who on PBS, I have coveted this scarf. It is the ENTIRE reason that I learned how to knit. I've been knitting around 10 years now, but do I have my cherished scarf to show for it? No, dear reader, I do not. It is time to remedy this situation. I will be using the Original Pattern from Chris Brimelow's DrWhoScarf.com. The Witty Little Knitter also has a great database for knitters wishing to make The Scarf.

I have some Brown Sheep Company chunky wool/nylon blend in a sunny yellow and black. It was earmarked for a new earflap hat for Will, but the hat is too tight and William has taken to wearing a prefab OSU hat that looks quite natty. So I have decided to make myself some slippers out of the frogged yarn. After searching and searching for a pattern that resembled moccasins I found these Non-Felted Slippers done by Yuko Nakamura. I love Japanese knits. They tend to be so clean and streamlined. Again, I'm excited about these!

And finally, a Great stash-busting project!

This is for all those bits and bobs of worsted weight wool that you have lying around OR the striped and solid color sweaters that you bought to frog but found that the yarn was too worn or itchy or lacy. It's The Ron Weasley Blanket and you don't have to be a Harry Potter fan to understand it's glory. Composed of mismatched randomly striped and solid 7in squares attached 8 across and 10 down, it should fit any bed you wish to place it on. And think of how warm it would be if you backed it with flannel or velvet and did a tied quilt. I would truly be an heirloom piece.

Here's Ron with his blanket at Hogwarts

This is Keri's Won Won Blanket

So there you go. Happy knitting. I hope I've given you all some inspiration and the push to pick up the sticks!

I Love You All, Thank You So Much

I would like to offer a very heartfelt

to all of my readers.

Your outpouring of condolences after Ellie's death made the adjustment to life without her easier.

How could I have thought for even a second that I would quit blogging?

It is moments like these that help me remember how wonderful this community is.

I truly love all of you.

We got her back today. This poem, which has meant so much to me in the past, was given to me by the kind people at Rutherford Funeral home in Columbus, OH.

Goodbye, Ellie Belly

This is going to be a difficult post.  Remember the puppy that I complained about having in our house because it was supposed to be my daughter's but I was the one taking care of it?  Well, she became my dog and despite being a bad dog I have never loved a dog so much in my life.  She just turned 18 months old.

She chewed up Everything she could get to.  She destroyed one of our chairs, countless shoes, many of William's toys, and anything else that seemed chewable to her.  She escaped from the house on many occasions and got into multiple neighbor's trash.  She domineered over our beagle, who completely gave up ever having a dog toy of her own.

But she would curl up in my lap and tilt her head just so.  She was a dachshund/cocker spaniel mix so was little, but I think she would have killed anyone who tried to do anything to any member of our family.  A few days ago when I was trying to get our beagle, Carly, to come to me, she looked at me, ran to Carly, chomped onto her ear and tried to drag her to me.  She was too smart for her own good.  She could jump up until her eyes were level with mine and was the fastest dog I have ever seen. She was soft and loved to have her belly scratched.  She loved to lick my nose.  I loved her.

On Sunday before church she made one of her escapes and ran right into the path of a van.  I saw the whole thing.  And there was nothing I could do.  She tried to pick up her head once and then she was dead.  The couple was so apologetic, but it wasn't their fault.  She just ran right in front of them.  I hugged the woman, who was horrified, and sent them on their way.  And then I wrapped up my Ellie in a towel and sat on the porch holding her and sobbing for about an hour.  A local funeral home took her to be cremated and the men who met me there held me while I pet and said goodbye to her.  My son sat on my lap and held me for hours while we both cried. He loved her, too.

I miss my bad dog.  I haven't been in this big of a funk about losing a pet in years and years.  Carly is confused and alternates between sniffing around for Ellie and looking at me like I can explain where Ellie went.  She wont leave my side.  She still won't go near the pet toys.  They were never hers.

I loved you so much, little Ellie.  Wait for me across the bridge.  I can't wait to scratch your belly again.

Disenchanted with my Blog

So I am having a difficult time writing new posts. I am disenchanted. I started blogging with such zeal. Now, after four years, I feel stagnant and a bit tired of it all. About a year ago, I spent up to 12 hours a day working on the blog, commenting, doing blog hops, working with sponsors, etc. Back then, I got up to 30 comments with each post. I was on top of the blogging world. Except I was bitterly unhappy in MY world, my children made comments about mom never being off of the computer, my husband knew that in between cooking and cleaning I wouldn't be available to anything but the blog.

Then I got my head together and my priorities in order. I started spending lots of time with other people. I wasn't rolling in angst. Sure, there are worse days than other, but by and large I am able to manage my psyche pretty well. I quit responding to 50 blogs a day. I no longer participate in blog hops. Instead of writing posts about how difficult life can be, I write recipes and observations. And I've lost readers, comments are down, I have no sponsors.

At some point I had to face the fact that blogging simply is not going to pay the bills. God bless those who have been able to turn it into a career, but just like any form of media blogging is competitive and the people with the money like other bloggers more than me. So then if blogging isn't going to be my job it is a hobby and it should be fun, enjoyable, something I look forward to doing.

But lately it isn't. I realize I haven't posted for days and I don't have a problem with it mostly because it feels so "blah." I would like to get my blogging mojo back; I think I maintain a good space. So help me, my blogging friends. What do you do when you want to call it quits? How do you get the spark back? How do you banish the disenchantment and start with new vigor?