Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Husband is a Guy

My husband is coming home tonight from his grandmother's in Missouri. I thought I'd enjoy not having him around for a while, just having some me time, but I've missed him. I'm happy he's on his way back. He may be driving me batty by tomorrow, but right now, I want my man.

Photobucket

Before I got married, I had these visions of what falling in love and marriage would be like - you know, stuff like that amazing scene after Nickolas Cage falls in "City of Angels" and even "The Big Chill" formed my opinions. It would start with overwhelming oceans of love (which it did) and then progress to something comfortable (again, ditto) where he would think of me and buy me flowers (...) and take me on dates (...) and wear fashionable clothing and we would look natty and sophisticated as we drank in wine bars eating tapas.

Photobucket

So here's the thing. My husband is a guy. He likes sweats and jeans and tee shirts and ball caps. He wears a sleeveless undershirt every day. He reads and re-reads motorcycle magazines till he can quote them back word for word. Sometimes he gets, well, gamey (this, thankfully, never lasts long, or I would drag him to the shower and not for the un-family blog types of things he would be thinking). His mom is the one that buys me flowers. She knows I like them. He doesn't know what a tapa is, and if confronted with one, would most likely think that such a small piece of food is a waste of a clean plate. He doesn't like fancy restaurants. Big Boy is more his speed. His side of the bed is rather a mess and does not fit in with my decorating scheme. His fingernails often have oil under them and sometimes crude comments sort of ooze out of his mouth.

Photobucket

I'm convinced that Hollywood is part of the reason that some marraiges fail. Two people in love get married, the honeymoon fades, and suddenly the husband isn't like Sam from "Ghost" anymore. There are no Everly Brother's pottery wheel love moments where you get miraculously clean on the way to your pristine white couch for fabulous love making and moonbeams. Because we marry men. Not Hollywood movies. Sometimes you might get, like, a moment that is, what, .5% as fantastic as the "Ghost" moment and you feel like the whole earth shook because a moment that fantastic hasn't happened in a month. Cuz that's what the world is really like.

Photobucket

My daughter is stuck on the Hollywood love model. She doesn't quite get that her boyfriend, unless he develops insane Hollywood style love skills (we're talking wooing skills here, nothing more!) is never going to be as sensitive as Eric Bana in "The Time Traveler's Wife" (sigh). I keep telling her, "you are dating a guy, a really good guy, but a guy, and he's a teenaged guy at that! Give him a break! He hasn't drank the Hollywood love Kool-Aid, and chances are, he never will." She's understandably disappointed, but I think I'm getting through.

Photobucket

I married a guy. Not a Hollywood love interest. A normal man. And I've never once tried to change that - well, except for the gameyness - that I cannot abide by. And I do nag him about his messiness, but that has tapered off, too.

Photobucket

I love my guy. I will never eat a tapa with him, but patty melts taste better when he's around.

Photobucket


Photos from We Heart It and Deviant Art

Bigger Picture Moment



25 comments:

Jenna Renee said...

Loved this post! This sounds just like my Joe. He would never go to a wine bar with me either... and it takes a lot to get him to "fancy" restaurants. He loves steak and grilling and he is a diesel mechanic. He is a outdoorsman, hunter, fisher, and the best man I have ever met. He may not fit the dream man I had in my mind for so long, but he is so much more.

deanna said...

I often wonder why guys are so romantic in movies and songs, but not in real life. Oh well. Sigh.
xoxoxo

alissa4illustration said...

I married a normal guy too. Some people marry a guy that dresses up to go to work, my guy wears jeans and a t-shirt most every day. He also lets his beard get a little too long sometimes. He's a sculptor and works at a dental lab, so his hands are always dirty.

Lois Evensen said...

Yep, those handsome men do sweat. ;)

The Housewife said...

I love your post!

Michelle said...

very sweet and grounded! Men everywhere will probably thank you. I must confess I dooo have a tendency to nag about being more romantic, but my guy's a guy to a good real guy-

Pomegranategrl said...

I have bookmarked this post to refer to when I need to be reminded that my husband is a guy and life isn't a Hollywood moment. Thank you.

Cathy said...

I truly believe that those of us who realized early on in our relationship that we married "a guy" are much happier in the long run. I wouldn't trade my guy for world, even on those days when I don't like him. My love for him is forever.

Great post!

This Heavenly Life said...

You are so right! The expectations are what kill us, you know? He's a guy -- you're a lady. Those are intrinsic differences, but MAN is it good when we put those aside (or better yet -- embrace them!) and enjoy each other for all of our imperfect sides.

Loved this :) Thank you so much for linking up today!

Café Bellini said...

Hahaha my husband reads motorbike magazine too - over and over again! And instruction leaflets! can't understand why they're so fascinating.

Hyacynth said...

"Because we marry men. Not Hollywood movies."
A resounding AMEN from me. That is a brilliant nugget of truth every little girl {and grown girl} needs to remember.
My husband is a country music fan, and he likes to remind me that this Brad Paisley song about being a guy is oh, so very true. {Not my cup of musical tea, but the lyrics are definitely true.}
We need to embrace our men for being men.

Cassandra Frear said...

Let's hear a cheer for ordinary, rubber-meets-the-road, romance. Hooray!

Corinne said...

I absolutely adore this post! It's all so very true, and we need to be reminded of the fact that our husbands are men. Real ones. And that's a good thing :)

Stephanie said...

Hi! I am newly married and so appreciate this post. I can relate to how you felt early on and am always grateful for a reality check. And reality reminds me that my guy is amazing just the way he is. Thanks!

PACountryMouse said...

LOVE THIS POST! :-D

Donda said...

Awww that was sweet! Everyone should have a wife like you! I am not so forgiving.

Indie.Tea said...

This is a really beautiful blog post. Your husband sounds "real", so to speak, like a normal, healthy, caring, and not-"fake" person.
And the photographs were lovely too.

ethnically ambiguous said...

And the prize goes to...Erin!! You hit the nail on the head. I've always sabotaged dang near everything in my life because I'm constantly comparing real life with those unrealistic 80's teen romance movies. It's nice to know that I wasn't cheated in the Hollywood happily ever after.
Oh and what is it with men folk and their disregard for A. keeping their living space clean & B. themselves clean?!?

Lynne said...

I love this. I'm married to just a normal jeans and tee dirty hands and sometimes dirty mouth guy. I wouldn't have it any other way. Nice post.

Missy said...

Awesome and so true - if only more people knew of this "hollywood ruse." Infatuation fades, true love lasts - even through the very, very challenging times.

Keli said...

LOVE IT! Thsi is so true and we all need to remember it. My guy drives me NUTS sometimes but he loves me and our kids to death. And that's what matters! :)

Megan {Honey We're Home} said...

I love this post. So well said. I can relate- my husband is a guy too. One that insists on wearing the stained shorts when he has perfectly nice, new ones he could wear! Thanks for visiting my blog and following- I'm now following you too:)

Latté Mama said...

You're so right! Great post! Let's all give our guys a great ,big, hug for loving us just as we are too :)

Allison @ Alli 'n Son said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I hate overly sapping, unrealistic romance movies. Real life, dirty finger nails and everything, is much more interesting.

Julie said...

Guys, don't want to ever live without them but a day here or there, well that's pretty nice. I love this post. Jim fits in with your hubby almost to the "T". Romanace is something that skipped by Jim and landed somewhere else but after 30 years of loving this man, well though I might miss some of that I wouldn't trade him for another.
Thanks for sharing. Have the most blessed day.

Related Posts with Thumbnails