Tuesday, March 22, 2011

You are a good mom

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I don't know about you, but as a blogger I read a lot of gorgeous blogs by supermamas. And they really are supermamas with absolutely no pretense, doing an amazing job raising, loving, and (or maybe not) homeschooling their kids. It can make a mom feel less than adequate. Let's review.

William would like to eat this for every meal (and when it's not this, it's toaster waffles or macaroni and cheese):

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Supermama's somehow get their toddlers to eat this:

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The supermama's way of raising children consists of:

* super-organized learning environments with children who know what a dodecahedron is at 3.

* children who break out in the praise songs of Michael W. Smith, not "Disco Stick" by Lady Gaga.

* Children who don't steal toys from playmates (and actually know and practice the meaning of the word "share"), and never think of bashing said playmate over the head with said unstolen toy.

* Mom's either model head to toe organic, zero-carbon-footprint wardrobe and have dewy skin from make-at-home-with-veggies-from-the-garden facial products and blissed out countenance (while being key members of the "cool moms" clique)

OR

Model stellar thinness, athletic ability, perfectly in place hair and make-up, and amazing clothing put-togetheredness (while being key members of the "cool moms" clique)

* Mom attends every PTA meeting, raises thousands in the Yankee Candle sale, and still has time to previously pictured create delicious, homemade, healthy meal while coif is perfect and clothing is super put-togethered. Oh, and all the laundry is done!

In this laundry room


NOT this one!

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* Toddlers don't fall on the ground in a kicking tantrum and run for the hills (or behind the couch) at the mention of the word "potty."

* The answer to every request, question, or sentence isn't "NO!!!!" Followed by running and hiding behind the couch.

* Oh, and they definitely have never sat on the cat for fun. Repeatedly.

Do you love your children and do they know it? Are you consciously trying to teach them how to be good, kind, moral individuals? Do you read and play with them, sing to them, pay attention and help when they need it? Have you kept them from dismembering an arm or leg, or from falling from high places (and from climbing onto said high places), or otherwise injuring themselves or others on a continual basis (unforeseen injuries, fluke accidents, and occasional toddler fights notwithstanding)?

Most importantly, when they look at you, can you feel the love that they have for you?

If you can answer yes to these questions, pat yourself on the back. You are a good mother.
On those days when you want to drive out into the country and push your children out of the car and speed away, go look in the mirror and say to yourself "You are a good mother."

When your teenager uses cuss words that you didn't even know existed to describe how she feels about you at that moment, remind yourself, "You are a good mother."

When your house looks as if a cyclone went through it, the dishes are piled to the ceiling, and your perfectionist mother-in-law unexpectedly shows up, take a deep breath and remind yourself that You are a good mother.

When you have to explain to the doctor that your child really DID get that black eye by stepping on the end of a rake, stare her back in her naturally suspicious eyes and say out loud, "You know what? I am a good mother!"

Because you know what? You are.

26 comments:

Sarah said...

Thanks for the reminder that most of us are indeed great mothers, whether or not we're "supermoms". I always wonder if life behind the scenes is really as good as it appears in the households where the mothers seem so perfect. Something tells me no...

Judy said...

It's so easy to compare ourselves to other mothers and see everything we are NOT doing, but really, when we take the time to step back and see the good that we bring to our home and to the lives of our children, we are doing well. If there are some days all a mother can offer to her children is love, that is more than so many children in this world have.

janis said...

Im a good Momma. It hasn't always been easy. A lot of tears, fears and thrills.
I picked my battles carefully.
I didnt always make the best choices, but we learn through them and make do.
Perfect? Hardly.
Messy goofy and and with God's help, did the best I could and it was enough:)

Katiebee said...

spoken like a true good mother!


xo

katie

Holly said...

Thanks for the encouraging words! You made my day.

sara said...

Perfect...I need to remember that when I leave my little love screaming at the door because I have to go to work and she doesn't want me to leave...

Firefly said...

Great post. Have a great night!

mrs mediocrity said...

:)

lindsey said...

I have been struggling with feeling like this for the last week! And I just love this post because it DOES make me feel better. Thank you so much for posting this. Your the best!
p.s. My daughter totally knows the lyrics to many lady gaga songs...

Amanda said...

Such a great post, it is sometimes a little daunting when you see how amazing some of these mothers are! But just seeing the smiles my little boys give me is enough to know whatever I'm doing I'm doing it right!

arwen_tiw said...

Lol thankyou! I identify strongly with all of the things that Supermoms DON'T do/have. :)

Estelle said...

Oh, sweet sister. This is a great post. Every mom needs to read this and hear this from time to time. Don't we all feel like losers most of the time or is that just me? I was just beating myself up over Emerson's diet of steady mac and cheese with no veggies. But you know what, I'm going to give myself a big old break. Because I'm doing the best I can everyday and so is she and so are you! Thanks for this.

Occidental Girl said...

Thank you. I live in a town of put-together women, and while I only berate their high standards in my head, secretly I wish I were put together, too. I've limped through the past couple of months, with another 12 weeks to get through. Nice to remember I'm not all that bad, actually. Thank you!

Selena said...

YAY! I found your blog at bloggers.com and I am certainly going to follow. It's beautiful to look at and this post is a fantastic read.

That being said, I call "BULLS**T" on the Supermoms. Because even those moms are insecure about things. They probably wish they (and their kids) could be more spontaneous or spend less time studying or not have to work so hard to make everything so perfect.

I personally don't have the energy for perfection. Once I acknowledged that fact, I was well on my way to becoming the kind of mom you describe.

p.s. My kid climbed up and fell from a high place, and survived. But her father was supposed to be watching her, so...you know....

:-)

Courtney @ Scraps and Scribbles said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I think we all need to be reminded that just because we might not be that picture-perfect "supermamma" we are still good mothers and that's nothing to be ashamed of. And I bet you those "supermammas" have doubts that they're not always good moms, too.

mylifeaintalwaysbeautifulblog said...

ha ha ha cracking up laughing. I guess I fail at the supermom thing ;)

Self Sagacity said...

Oh my gosh. The model homes look like that first laundry room, not my house. Wonderful post.

Lisa @ Flour Me With Love said...

I started laughing when you said about the teenager swearing at you. I have a teen who just swore for the first time in front of me and I thought "wow, where did I go wrong?" Even though it seems bad, I didn't do anything wrong. Thanks for the little reminder that we are all indeed good moms. :)

Misty said...

GREAT POST!!!
Thanks for following my blog! I'm now following you back :)
I have 2 giveaways going on right now and they have low entries so be sure and check them out! When you get a chance.
I'd also be tickled pink if you could follow me on Facebook
Happy Blogging :)

Thanks Bunches, Misty

Lauren said...

M'kay, so how much do I love this post!?! (a lot)

I am always being told I'm The Perfect Mom. Somehow my friends think my house is perfectly ordered, and we never eat fast food. I admit, I do do run 10+ miles a week, and I'm freakishly crafty, and I do enjoy a well-prepared (healthful) meal. BUT I also love junk pizza out of a box too. And fries. With loads and loads of corn-syrup laced ketchup. And I live in pajama pants and ratty t-shirts amid a messy house (overflowing with my craft supplies -- literally strewn about the house) So....

Even if you ARE perfect in the eyes of the world, YOU know you're not perfect, and it's quite liberating to know you're not the only imperfect Fabulous Mama out there.

(You blog makes me happy belly laugh. I love it.)

Kelly Lynch Ring said...

Fantastic! You are a good mom! It's nice to read an article with such raw truth!
Cheers, Kelly

Jen Daiker said...

This is so sweet and great. Everyone is a great mother... those who have children. I am in awe of all the parents who also blog. It's amazing!!

I'm stopping in to welcome you to the A-Z Blogging Challenge!!! I'm a co-host so should you need anything I'm here to help!! Feel free to stop by my blog to say hello or join us on Twitter (I'm @jenunedited)!!

Lana said...

LIKE!!!!!!!!!

Wende said...

I'm late to this... but... AMEN!

kalurah said...

I SOOOOOO needed this sweet little post today. I am now chanting it, over and over.... "I am a good mother, I am a good mother."
Ohmmmmmmmm. :)

Sarah Brown said...

Great post! We are all good moms! We need to help each other rather than compete with one another!

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