I'm a little late on the Halloween post due to Dad Days, but here is my boy, all decked out in his cowboy gear. He looks like he belongs in the 50s with Howdy Doody. Do I have to tell you that I love it?
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Baseball, Dads, and Growing Up (A Guest Post from Josh Solar)
Josh Solar is our guest today. He is one half of The Happy Family Movement, an amazing website that aims to help families live a great life together. Fittingly, today he talks about the bonds formed through baseball.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Reconciling Beliefs or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Christ.(A Guest post from Dustin Christian)
Another post from Dustin Christian of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow. Today he talks about reconciling the differences in his wife's and his faith and beliefs.
To me, “Christian” is nothing more than my last name. It's a last name that my wife loves because it's applied to her for as long as she can remember, but it's just a name to me.
Rhonda grew up with God as a constant presence in her life. I grew up unsure if God even exists.
I wasn't raised as an Atheist – most of my family considers themselves Christians (the church kind, not the last name kind) and would probably answer the classic question “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?” with an automatic, knee-jerk yes.
I've been to church, I even know the Lord's prayer by heart, but I've always been the type to question everything and forge my own path. Most church leaders I met didn't like it when a kid constantly questioned their faith, even if I was just trying to understand and reconcile what I saw as inconsistencies. Being constantly told to sit down and shut up, and seeing hypocrites like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker on the television (and hearing about the worst kept secret of pedophile priests) left me full of distrust and disdain for organized religion in general and evangelical Christians in particular.
I went from being Christian by default to agnostic to atheist to... undefined. I've studied and dabbled in other religions, faiths, and philosophies, and developed my own spiritual ideas. I could write thousands of words on the subject, but I now call myself an open-minded agnostic, for the sake of simplicity. I tend to believe there is probably a higher power, but I don't think it matters what you call that higher power – or if you even decide to call that power anything at all – as long as you try to be the best person you can possibly be.
I've never reconciled myself with closed-minded hypocrites of any faith, however. I doubt any one faith has all the answers, and they have to many commonalities to dismiss each other out of hand.
I'd reached the open-minded agnostic, live-and-let-live stage by the time I met Rhonda. But people who were extremely vocal about their faith still made me nervous, and Rhonda definitely wears her faith on her sleeve. As someone with such strong faith, she had never even considered spending her life with somebody who didn't share that faith. And, since we both had kids, any relationship had to beviewed with a consideration towards long-term implications.
While we were very interested in each other, religion was a potential deal-breaker.
When we talked about what we really believed, though, we found that we actually agreed on most things. Rhonda was raised in a Christian family in a heavily Christian small town, but had her own ideas about what was right and what was wrong. While she was without a doubt a Christian, she could see the value in other belief systems and agreed that, as long as they were focused on trying to bethe best person you could be, they were on the right track.
I believe that we've come to the same point from different paths. If I had been raised going to church every Sunday, I'd probably have a lot more faith. If she was raised away from church, she'd probably be a lot more skeptical – though I hope not as cynical as I am. I know that we've influenced each other. I've made Rhonda question things more and consider life from perspectives other than the Christian viewpoint, and she has caused me to have more faith and become more spiritual.
But I digress.
No matter how much we might agree, there was still the big question – once we were sure that ours was a long-term relationship – of how we would raise our children. Rhonda had never considered anything other than raising her kids as Christians and, while I had moved past my issues with Christianity, I wasn't comfortable with my kids being taught that there was only one way. Besides, I'm still not comfortable with a lot of the “morals” that many Christians profess.
In the end, we decided that the boys will make up their own minds about faith and religion. It's inevitable that Christianity will be the first thing they're exposed to. In this country (and particularly this state), they'll also be exposed to Christianity most often. I'm not looking forward to the day when I have to contradict some of the things the boys will hear (especially from their grandfather who is born-again and thus insists there's no other way to be), but at least I can do that without getting angry. I'm sure there will be bigger fights over the racism and homophobia they'll eventually hear from Rhonda's uncles and other bigots.
Rhonda had the idea of taking them to mosques, temples, and gatherings of other faiths, and I would love to do that – if they show interest. I'm not forcing anything on them. If and when they have questions, we'll answer them as openly and honestly as we know how. I hope it can wait long enough that they'll be able to grasp why Mommy and Daddy don't believe exactly the same things, but we'll do what we must.
The most important thing I can teach my kids is that everyone is different, and different ideas are not only okay – they're essential.
To me, “Christian” is nothing more than my last name. It's a last name that my wife loves because it's applied to her for as long as she can remember, but it's just a name to me.
Rhonda grew up with God as a constant presence in her life. I grew up unsure if God even exists.
I wasn't raised as an Atheist – most of my family considers themselves Christians (the church kind, not the last name kind) and would probably answer the classic question “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?” with an automatic, knee-jerk yes.
I've been to church, I even know the Lord's prayer by heart, but I've always been the type to question everything and forge my own path. Most church leaders I met didn't like it when a kid constantly questioned their faith, even if I was just trying to understand and reconcile what I saw as inconsistencies. Being constantly told to sit down and shut up, and seeing hypocrites like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker on the television (and hearing about the worst kept secret of pedophile priests) left me full of distrust and disdain for organized religion in general and evangelical Christians in particular.
I went from being Christian by default to agnostic to atheist to... undefined. I've studied and dabbled in other religions, faiths, and philosophies, and developed my own spiritual ideas. I could write thousands of words on the subject, but I now call myself an open-minded agnostic, for the sake of simplicity. I tend to believe there is probably a higher power, but I don't think it matters what you call that higher power – or if you even decide to call that power anything at all – as long as you try to be the best person you can possibly be.
I've never reconciled myself with closed-minded hypocrites of any faith, however. I doubt any one faith has all the answers, and they have to many commonalities to dismiss each other out of hand.
I'd reached the open-minded agnostic, live-and-let-live stage by the time I met Rhonda. But people who were extremely vocal about their faith still made me nervous, and Rhonda definitely wears her faith on her sleeve. As someone with such strong faith, she had never even considered spending her life with somebody who didn't share that faith. And, since we both had kids, any relationship had to beviewed with a consideration towards long-term implications.
While we were very interested in each other, religion was a potential deal-breaker.
When we talked about what we really believed, though, we found that we actually agreed on most things. Rhonda was raised in a Christian family in a heavily Christian small town, but had her own ideas about what was right and what was wrong. While she was without a doubt a Christian, she could see the value in other belief systems and agreed that, as long as they were focused on trying to bethe best person you could be, they were on the right track.
I believe that we've come to the same point from different paths. If I had been raised going to church every Sunday, I'd probably have a lot more faith. If she was raised away from church, she'd probably be a lot more skeptical – though I hope not as cynical as I am. I know that we've influenced each other. I've made Rhonda question things more and consider life from perspectives other than the Christian viewpoint, and she has caused me to have more faith and become more spiritual.
But I digress.
No matter how much we might agree, there was still the big question – once we were sure that ours was a long-term relationship – of how we would raise our children. Rhonda had never considered anything other than raising her kids as Christians and, while I had moved past my issues with Christianity, I wasn't comfortable with my kids being taught that there was only one way. Besides, I'm still not comfortable with a lot of the “morals” that many Christians profess.
In the end, we decided that the boys will make up their own minds about faith and religion. It's inevitable that Christianity will be the first thing they're exposed to. In this country (and particularly this state), they'll also be exposed to Christianity most often. I'm not looking forward to the day when I have to contradict some of the things the boys will hear (especially from their grandfather who is born-again and thus insists there's no other way to be), but at least I can do that without getting angry. I'm sure there will be bigger fights over the racism and homophobia they'll eventually hear from Rhonda's uncles and other bigots.
Rhonda had the idea of taking them to mosques, temples, and gatherings of other faiths, and I would love to do that – if they show interest. I'm not forcing anything on them. If and when they have questions, we'll answer them as openly and honestly as we know how. I hope it can wait long enough that they'll be able to grasp why Mommy and Daddy don't believe exactly the same things, but we'll do what we must.
The most important thing I can teach my kids is that everyone is different, and different ideas are not only okay – they're essential.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Challenges of Fatherhood (A guest post by Alex Walsh)
Today's contributor is Alex Walsh, the publisher of the blog Daddacool (which is listed #8 in Cision's Top 10 UK Daddy Blogs). Today he touches on some of the challenges of fatherhood.
So this Daddy lark then. Has it changed me? Well I’m now capable of wiping someone elses bottom, which is something I never thought I’d be able to do. I barely enjoy wiping my own to be honest. The same goes for sick, I never thought I’d have a poorly toddler clasped to me when they chose to vomit down my back. To this day I remember the walk to the bathroom with chunks of sick worrying their way between my buttocks. And of course, there is the claim to fame I have in my twitter profile that elicits a lot of amusing chortles: Super powers include walking over Lego barefoot AND feeling NO pain!
Of course the experiences are only a small part of it really, and even the rather unsavoury ones have their upside- having a poorly child cling to you because they find you reassuring is special, even if the acidic smell of sick is burning your nostrils.
There are always challenges to being a Dad, and they’re not always the ones you’d expect. I always found little wriggly babies both incredibly delicate and incredibly strong at the same time. I clearly remember getting more frustrated than a newborn in my attempts to get a sleep suit on a baby. I also remember vividly the wrench at leaving my wife alone and confused after my two weeks paternity leave had finished. I even wrote about it for a national newspaper here in England.
And the lack of sleep, oh my goodness the lack of sleep. The boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was one but his little sister Fifi, still doesn’t sleep properly and she’ll be three in January. She was still waking up twice in the night until she was two, and after that she insisted on getting up at around 5am. Enough to make you weep tears of exhaustion.
I like to think that Claire and I are a team though. She might have been the one to carry the kids and give birth to them but I was the one who accidentally ensured that some heavy metal was playing during at least one of the deliveries. I try to do my fair share of the good stuff and the unpleasant stuff, be it bedtime routine and stories (which I always try to be home from work for) to taking them for their immunizations. The biggest challenge I have is not lowering myself to their level when it comes to playing games. I find it really easy to empathise with the children, particularly the boy.
I think though, the thing for me that sums up being a Dad perfectly is one of those days I come home to be met at the front door by the boy. He has a worried look on his face, mingled with a slight trace of worry. He gives me something precious to him that’s been broken and has complete faith in me to make everything all right. It’s a fairly well placed faith as far as he’s concerned. When we were lucky enough to go on holiday to Lake Garda, Italy, we spent hours walking around a fortified walled city. When we got back to the hire car, he said, “Where’s bunny?” We had 20 minutes on the parking meter left and he had lost his most precious cuddly toy in a walled city. I ran off at speed and came back 17 minutes later with his bunny. He was unconcerned, because I was his Daddy and he had complete trust in me to make things okay. And that is what it means to me to be a Daddy.
So this Daddy lark then. Has it changed me? Well I’m now capable of wiping someone elses bottom, which is something I never thought I’d be able to do. I barely enjoy wiping my own to be honest. The same goes for sick, I never thought I’d have a poorly toddler clasped to me when they chose to vomit down my back. To this day I remember the walk to the bathroom with chunks of sick worrying their way between my buttocks. And of course, there is the claim to fame I have in my twitter profile that elicits a lot of amusing chortles: Super powers include walking over Lego barefoot AND feeling NO pain!
Of course the experiences are only a small part of it really, and even the rather unsavoury ones have their upside- having a poorly child cling to you because they find you reassuring is special, even if the acidic smell of sick is burning your nostrils.
There are always challenges to being a Dad, and they’re not always the ones you’d expect. I always found little wriggly babies both incredibly delicate and incredibly strong at the same time. I clearly remember getting more frustrated than a newborn in my attempts to get a sleep suit on a baby. I also remember vividly the wrench at leaving my wife alone and confused after my two weeks paternity leave had finished. I even wrote about it for a national newspaper here in England.
And the lack of sleep, oh my goodness the lack of sleep. The boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was one but his little sister Fifi, still doesn’t sleep properly and she’ll be three in January. She was still waking up twice in the night until she was two, and after that she insisted on getting up at around 5am. Enough to make you weep tears of exhaustion.
I like to think that Claire and I are a team though. She might have been the one to carry the kids and give birth to them but I was the one who accidentally ensured that some heavy metal was playing during at least one of the deliveries. I try to do my fair share of the good stuff and the unpleasant stuff, be it bedtime routine and stories (which I always try to be home from work for) to taking them for their immunizations. The biggest challenge I have is not lowering myself to their level when it comes to playing games. I find it really easy to empathise with the children, particularly the boy.
I think though, the thing for me that sums up being a Dad perfectly is one of those days I come home to be met at the front door by the boy. He has a worried look on his face, mingled with a slight trace of worry. He gives me something precious to him that’s been broken and has complete faith in me to make everything all right. It’s a fairly well placed faith as far as he’s concerned. When we were lucky enough to go on holiday to Lake Garda, Italy, we spent hours walking around a fortified walled city. When we got back to the hire car, he said, “Where’s bunny?” We had 20 minutes on the parking meter left and he had lost his most precious cuddly toy in a walled city. I ran off at speed and came back 17 minutes later with his bunny. He was unconcerned, because I was his Daddy and he had complete trust in me to make things okay. And that is what it means to me to be a Daddy.
Time Sure Goes By Fast (A guest post by John Willey)
John Willey is the author of Daddy's In Charge? and one of this year's Parents.com Best Dad Blog Award Nominees. Check out his Lego movies (starring everyone from Chuck Norris to Spiderman) which record his singular views on fatherhood.
"Time sure goes by fast, huh Daddy?" - my son Tyler
Yeah Tyler, it sure does.
Time sure goes by fast, I can remember sitting in your bedroom late one night and you rolled yourself from your back to your front. It was just you and me and I thought that nothing could be better than that moment. Then you started to crawl, albeit like a wounded army man, and you could now get around on your own. You didn't need me to carry you everywhere. Look at you now, you are faster than a speeding bullet and you run everywhere you go. We have had a lot of nights like that one in your bedroom, a lot of great moments.
"Time sure goes by fast, huh Daddy?" - my son Tyler
Yeah Tyler, it sure does.
It seems just like like yesterday I was sitting outside the operating room crying hysterically both scared to death and happy all in the same moment. Scared to death that your mother was having an emergency C section but also happy because it meant that you were on your way out. I was also scared to death because my life would change forever, I was now going to be a dad, and I had no idea what that was actually going to mean. Time sure does go by fast, I remember the first night you were home from the hospital, you were crying your little eyes out and we had no idea what the problem was. The only thing that we could think of was to put a binky in your mouth, it worked wonders. It still took you a long time until you slept through the night, but look at you now, you sleep like such a big kid, although you could go to bed on your own sometimes.
Time sure goes by fast, I can remember sitting in your bedroom late one night and you rolled yourself from your back to your front. It was just you and me and I thought that nothing could be better than that moment. Then you started to crawl, albeit like a wounded army man, and you could now get around on your own. You didn't need me to carry you everywhere. Look at you now, you are faster than a speeding bullet and you run everywhere you go. We have had a lot of nights like that one in your bedroom, a lot of great moments.
Time sure does go by fast, you used to need us to read everything to you. You didn't know your ABC's or how to count to ten. But you figured that all out, you turned into such a smart little kid. The smartest in fact! You used to just scribble everything, before you knew how to write or draw. But look at you now, look at what in incredible artist you are. You amaze me everyday with that little brain of yours.
Time does go by fast, you used to be the only baby that we had. It used to be only you, but then along came Carter. We had an idea that you would be a great big brother, but seeing how you are with him, you really turned into the best big brother in the whole world. He loves you so much! You have gotten to be such an awesome little kid in these past seven years and you grew up so fast, it makes me wonder sometimes where it all went.
"Time sure goes by fast huh daddy? I came into your room at 6:30, (fell back asleep) and now its already 7:45. How did that happen?"I have no idea Tyler, I have no idea.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Don't Take My Advice (A Guest Post by Richard Monroe)
There are just some bloggers that you instantly connect with. Richard Monroe, author of The Butterbottom Blog is one of mine. He's funny, nice, and willing to help with anything. He also knows my favorite donut (peanut from Jolly Pirate) and delights in reminding me. I've become a peanut expert on Klout, and I believe it's all because of him.
Richard started blogging as an adjunct to his clothing line Butterbottom. He soon realized that he loved the process of writing as it helped him reflect on what is important in life, what's not, and, most importantly, what he can turn into satire. He lives with wife Laura and sons Henry, 7, and Turner, 5.
Don't Take My Advice
Richard started blogging as an adjunct to his clothing line Butterbottom. He soon realized that he loved the process of writing as it helped him reflect on what is important in life, what's not, and, most importantly, what he can turn into satire. He lives with wife Laura and sons Henry, 7, and Turner, 5.
Don't Take My Advice
When my pal Erin asked me to contribute to her Dadtober blog special, first thought was: of course I'll help her. Which was soon followed by, does that mean I have to write something new? That sounds like work. Erin, being the great sport, said it was fine to contribute something already posted on my blog, which was relevant to her theme.
But honestly my reluctance wasn't complete laziness (although that was a large part of it), but the issue of parenting advice and its irrelevance to anyone but your own children.
As contradictory as this sounds, the best parenting advice and the only one I've ever adhered to was told to me by a former colleague who I never would have taken for a parenting guru. About a month before our first was born, he simply said, "Look, after about two weeks, nobody on the entire planet is going to know your baby better than you and your wife. So you don't need to listen to anybody else. Its your kid, you'll know him or her better, so just do what you think is best."
And that seems just about perfect. In reality, every single child out there is different. So however one person deals with their kid has 0% to do with what you should do with yours (unless that person is your spouse of course). And if you have more than one child, you will find that each of those kids needs their own style of parenting. The nice compassionate extremely patient parent may be great for one, while the other may need the 'tough love' parent. Just threatening my oldest with a timeout stops him in his tracks, whereas the younger will not stop till whatever punishment is put in place.
But what really complicates things is that they grow and change and no two days are alike. So suddenly, your once introverted kid is suddenly mouthing off at school and a cocky little son of a gun. Or one day, after weeks of just general unpleasantness, your kid wakes up and seems like a brand new child and you think "I don't know what happened, but I'll take it".
And then they can pull a 180 in the midst of a single day. How many days have you had the best morning turn into the worst night? Or vice versa? Or how many times has one of your kids been totally awesome and then turns into a complete sourpuss, just as the other one has suddenly gone from acting too big for his britches to being the best daddy's little helper?
Its like the scene from The Incredibles when discussing the Omnidroid 9000, Bob says, "Let me guess, it got smart enough to wonder why it has to take orders from you?" That's childhood in a nutshell.
So, who am I to give you advice? Whatever I think probably doesn't work for your child and even if it does today, it won't tomorrow. So all you can do is keep fighting the good fight and start looking at military schools in your area.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Making Up for Lost Time (a guest post by Justin Mannato)
Today's guest blogger is Justin Mannato of Daddy Knows Less. Justin's inspiration is is daughter (known as "Peanut" on the blog) and he strives to catch parenthood in real time. He captures the moments, large and small, that make up parenthood and family. Daddy Knows Less is Circle of Moms #12 Top Daddy Blogs.
Making Up For Lost Time
Sometimes the smallest thing will stop you in your tracks. And break your heartd
Another day started way too early as my alarm sounded at 4:24 in the morning. I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled downstairs, towel and razor in hand. I shower downstairs to ensure I don't wake everyone up.
There it was: frozen in time
Then, I saw it. Sitting there on one of the stools under the counter. One of the Peanut's books.
And that's when it hit me. Smacked me in the face, in fact.
Yesterday evening the Peanut ran into the kitchen holding that book. Did she want me to read it? No. She wanted to show me something in it. It's a book with a different dog on each page, and when you turn the pages each different dog takes on the same big googily eyes. She wanted to show me which one looks like Luna.
But I was too busy. To my defense, I really was very busy. I had to delay getting dinner started because Luna once again crapped in the living room. So I was annoyed and busy.
And it grosses me out to have to clean up dog poop and cook a meal. The hand washing knows no end.
Standing there in the kitchen ten hours later, guilt consumed me. I remembered telling the Peanut to please wait. I wasn't nasty. I nicely explained to her that because Luna had an accident, I couldn't look right now. But I will in a minute.
This is the daily struggle we as working parents endure. Sometimes I stop doing what I'm doing and pay attention to her. If not, I will follow up in a minute, when I have a minute. (But who ever has a minute?)
That minute never came. I felt devastated. I felt I had disappointed her. I showered, soaked in sorrow.
When I came home tonight to start dinner, I saw that book again. Forgotten again. By me. By the Peanut. Now 24 hours later, it still sat on that same stool.
I hadn't even taken my bag off my shoulder when I announced to her, "You know what I'd like you to do right now? May you show me what you wanted to show me in this puppy book?"
She immediately ran in from the playroom, as if no time had passed. She grabbed the book, turned the pages, and showed me.
"This one is Luna:"
Then she turned a few pages and said, "And this one is me.”
Maybe she didn't think anything of it. Maybe she did. Either way, I felt like in that one little moment, I saved her a trip to the therapist. I righted a wrong.
And in that moment, we both felt better. All it took was a little time.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Parent or Friend? (a Guest post from Ben Moffat)
I’m so pleased to be including a post from our next blogger, Ben Moffat, author of The Angry Scot. Ben moved to Järpås, Sweden from Fife, Scotland after he met his partner Marie. Together they have three children, Mikaela, 14, Alexander, 6, and Maximus, 6. He started blogging in July 2011 “because my partner Marie thought i would be pretty good at it, because im the type of person who normally tells it how it is or at least how he see’s it. But now I’m just blogging because it’s fun and i have met loads of awesome people through doing it and can’t wait to meet more.” To his credit, he seems to have built a large following in a small amount of time as every dad blogger I’ve met seems to know him. Give a warm welcome to The Angry Scot!
Parenting is quite possibly one of the hardest jobs any mother and father have to endure in their lifetime, it is a job that never ends, you are a parent 24/7, 365 days a year. However since moving across to Sweden (and by all means this is not a post about how bad parents Swedish are because for the most part they are fantastic) but as I have noticed a growing trend over the last 5 years since moving here.
"Now what is this trend?" I hear you ask. Well what I am talking about is the amount of parents I have seen neglect their parental duties and favour something that for the most part is good but has extremely bad consequences and this is friendship. Before anyone decides to go on a rampage, I am not saying you shouldn't be a friend to your child (by god no), that is something you definitely should be but when you are favouring being a friend to your children over being a parent that is where you see the likes of what I have seen over the past few years.
My twin boys used to attend the local daycare centre here in Järpås where we live. They didn't really need to be there since I am a stay at home dad, but it was something that both myself and my fiancée thought would be a great experience for them. I remember the first week I began to take the boys up to daycare, there was always this young boy up there already who was a little bit older than my two boys and always walked around like he owned the place, jumping on the furniture, bossing people around and such likes. I thought nothing of it because you know that some children are just like that. But a few weeks later I finally noticed the real reason behind his behaviour and attitude.
The reason behind it? His mother. Now I am not saying she is a bad mother, she is probably a good mother and does the very best she can, but the way she spoke to him and the way she treated him really annoyed me so much that I really wanted to say something. I decided not to say anything, because well my thoughts and opinions are exactly that mine, and it is certainly not my place to go around criticizing people's methods of parenting.
But this one day I went up to pick up my boys and was sitting on one of the sofa type benches they had just as you walked in the door, waiting for my kids to finish eating their afternoon snack and the same little boy who I had been seeing everyday was sitting on the one in front of me (or should I say jumping around and jumping on top of it). Not only was he doing that but his mother was standing right there in the doorway to the cloakroom.
As she turned around she must have got a glimpse of the look on my face (It was the look of "hello can you please tell your child that he shouldn't be doing that") but instead she just laughed and shrugged it off with the look off ("well what you going to do eh? Boys will be boys"). Eventually she had finished getting her other child dressed and ready to go and told her other boy who was performing acrobatics on the daycare furniture that it was time to go, but instead of the boy getting down and going with his mother he just completely ignored her request and continued with his antics.
But instead of being the firm parent, directing her child with what she wanted done she opted to go for the sad puppy dog eyes and come out with "Oh come on now son, let's get moving. Your dad will be home soon and i need to make dinner" in the most gentle voice you could possibly imagine. Of course like you could imagine the boy once more just completely ignored his mother and just continued doing what he was doing, but once more instead of taking the firm approach and telling the boy that it was time to go and to get a move on she opted for the bribe approach with "Please come now, when we get home we can have dinner and then some ice-cream and candy and cuddle up on the couch and watch some cartoons".
This to me is not on, he is the child and you are the parent at the end of the day and what you say goes, there is no point being all friendly towards your children if they are just going to completely ignore your requests and directions.
Safe to say the boy has grown up now and his behaviour and attitude has not changed one bit. He still does what he wants says what he wants and gets away with it, he has attempted a few times to try and speak to me like I was nothing but a piece of dirt on his shoe and I have just completely ignored him. I could have replied with something like "Listen, don't you speak to me like that" but seeing as I am not his parent I don't feel it is my place so I opted to just ignore his remarks and continue with what I was doing.
Parenting is quite possibly one of the hardest jobs any mother and father have to endure in their lifetime, it is a job that never ends, you are a parent 24/7, 365 days a year. However since moving across to Sweden (and by all means this is not a post about how bad parents Swedish are because for the most part they are fantastic) but as I have noticed a growing trend over the last 5 years since moving here.
"Now what is this trend?" I hear you ask. Well what I am talking about is the amount of parents I have seen neglect their parental duties and favour something that for the most part is good but has extremely bad consequences and this is friendship. Before anyone decides to go on a rampage, I am not saying you shouldn't be a friend to your child (by god no), that is something you definitely should be but when you are favouring being a friend to your children over being a parent that is where you see the likes of what I have seen over the past few years.
My twin boys used to attend the local daycare centre here in Järpås where we live. They didn't really need to be there since I am a stay at home dad, but it was something that both myself and my fiancée thought would be a great experience for them. I remember the first week I began to take the boys up to daycare, there was always this young boy up there already who was a little bit older than my two boys and always walked around like he owned the place, jumping on the furniture, bossing people around and such likes. I thought nothing of it because you know that some children are just like that. But a few weeks later I finally noticed the real reason behind his behaviour and attitude.
The reason behind it? His mother. Now I am not saying she is a bad mother, she is probably a good mother and does the very best she can, but the way she spoke to him and the way she treated him really annoyed me so much that I really wanted to say something. I decided not to say anything, because well my thoughts and opinions are exactly that mine, and it is certainly not my place to go around criticizing people's methods of parenting.
But this one day I went up to pick up my boys and was sitting on one of the sofa type benches they had just as you walked in the door, waiting for my kids to finish eating their afternoon snack and the same little boy who I had been seeing everyday was sitting on the one in front of me (or should I say jumping around and jumping on top of it). Not only was he doing that but his mother was standing right there in the doorway to the cloakroom.
As she turned around she must have got a glimpse of the look on my face (It was the look of "hello can you please tell your child that he shouldn't be doing that") but instead she just laughed and shrugged it off with the look off ("well what you going to do eh? Boys will be boys"). Eventually she had finished getting her other child dressed and ready to go and told her other boy who was performing acrobatics on the daycare furniture that it was time to go, but instead of the boy getting down and going with his mother he just completely ignored her request and continued with his antics.
But instead of being the firm parent, directing her child with what she wanted done she opted to go for the sad puppy dog eyes and come out with "Oh come on now son, let's get moving. Your dad will be home soon and i need to make dinner" in the most gentle voice you could possibly imagine. Of course like you could imagine the boy once more just completely ignored his mother and just continued doing what he was doing, but once more instead of taking the firm approach and telling the boy that it was time to go and to get a move on she opted for the bribe approach with "Please come now, when we get home we can have dinner and then some ice-cream and candy and cuddle up on the couch and watch some cartoons".
This to me is not on, he is the child and you are the parent at the end of the day and what you say goes, there is no point being all friendly towards your children if they are just going to completely ignore your requests and directions.
Safe to say the boy has grown up now and his behaviour and attitude has not changed one bit. He still does what he wants says what he wants and gets away with it, he has attempted a few times to try and speak to me like I was nothing but a piece of dirt on his shoe and I have just completely ignored him. I could have replied with something like "Listen, don't you speak to me like that" but seeing as I am not his parent I don't feel it is my place so I opted to just ignore his remarks and continue with what I was doing.
This story is a prime example of many things I have seen over the years that prove to me that I am teaching my children the correct way to be in life, some might say that I am strict parent and if that is their opinion then so be it, but I refuse to let my children get away with anything they are not meant to and I will definitely not let them talk to people without being respectful.
You might think that this has nothing to do with being a friend to your children but in my eyes it is, the mother instead of being a parent was being a friend to her child and in return she was ignored and disrespected not only that it was done in front of a complete stranger.
So if you take anything away from this post, then it should be to watch that fine line that we as parents have between being a parent, and being a friend to your child. Cherish the children you have but at the same time teach them the right way to act and to speak to people. Manners cost nothing in this world and I believe that it is the duty of every parent to teach their children that.
You might think that this has nothing to do with being a friend to your children but in my eyes it is, the mother instead of being a parent was being a friend to her child and in return she was ignored and disrespected not only that it was done in front of a complete stranger.
So if you take anything away from this post, then it should be to watch that fine line that we as parents have between being a parent, and being a friend to your child. Cherish the children you have but at the same time teach them the right way to act and to speak to people. Manners cost nothing in this world and I believe that it is the duty of every parent to teach their children that.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Be The Man Your Wife Wants and Children Need (guest Post from Dustin Christian)
The first of my Dad Bloggers Is 32 year old Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow. He currently resides in Gulfport, MS with wife Rhonda Gail and children Jude, 5 (from another marraige), Nick, 5 (Rhonda's, but his in every other way), and Harper, 2 and Quentin who is due later this month. Dustin has been blogging off and on for eight years and Daddy Geek is his fourth or fifth blog. According to Dustin, “DaddyGeek goes through phases. Sometimes it’s more Daddy, other times more Geek. Other times both fade into the background and it’s just about Dustin Christian. And sometimes it’s all about the boys. Nick makes the most appearances, mainly because he’s the oldest and thus most lessons are learned with him. “ I hope you enjoy his wonderful post!
Be The Man Your Wife Wants and Children Need
My wife has lost count of the times she's been told "Wow, I wish my husband would do that." My wife is envied, and an envied wife is a happy wife that appreciates her husband and lets him do things like attempt a freelance writing business from home because his dream is to make a living slinging words while he sits in his underwear and drinks beer.
I benefit from not being normal, is what I'm saying.
To be completely honest, I don't understand why I'm seen as unusual or a freak. I honestly don't know how I could be any other kind of husband and father than what I am - this really does seem brain-numbingly simple to me.
But everyone grows up with different value systems and different ideals about what a man should be, so I decided to lay out what is working for me, in the hopes that it could help some of you.
Take what you can use, leave the rest, your mileage may vary, choose your disclaimer. Hopefully you can use some of this and make your home-life a little easier to manage.
Forget Conformity.
Conformity for the sake of fitting in is for the weak-minded and weaker-willed. If your plans happen to follow the norm or conforming will achieve your goals, so be it. If conformity is holding you back from what you need or want? Forget. Conformity. Conformity is for sheeple. I don't wear a woolly coat and I'm not raising my boys to bleat.
Forget all the macho crap, lose the ego, and be a true partner.
Your concepts of "a woman's work" and wearing the pants in your family will get you nowhere. It's fine to have spheres of responsibility based on what your strengths, but be ready to step up and help with "her" responsibilities without restraint.
What's your alternative? Have things not get done and then fight about it?
Remember with whom you'll be spending the rest of your life and prioritize accordingly.
These first three really tie together. A lot of you will receive push-back from your friends and possibly even other husbands. You may be called whipped. You may be teased for going home to spend time with your kids instead of going to the bar and watching the game with your buddies. Other husbands may complain that you make them look bad.
To hell with them.
You are not married to your friends. Hopefully, at least one or two will still visit you when you're incontinent, but you don't go home to them every night. You will not grow old beside your friends. Your friends will not pick your nursing home or buy you Fathers' Day gifts. Your friends will not take care of you when you're sick.
And, to be frank (why stop now?), if other husbands aren't willing to step up their game, that's on them. Why make their problems your problem?
Change some diapers, especially the ones with a "surprise."
This ties into the first rule, but really deserves a spot of its own since my wife has shown more appreciation for this than almost anything else I do, ever.
I'm not really bothered by a diaper full of poop, and I'm even less bothered after five years of diaper changes, but nobody actually likes the (literal) crap job. I change 95 percent of the poopy diapers in our house, but you don't have to go that far. Taking one for the team even a third of the time will garner much appreciation from your wife.
Learn to cook.
Like changing diapers, you don't have to do this all the time. Just knowing that asking you to make dinner is an option will make your partner's life easier. When I stayed home with the boys, I cooked most meals. Now that we both work, my wife cooks more often than not. But she loves being able to ask me to make dinner or even just do all the prep work if it's needed.
Very little real work, major benefits.
LISTEN.
This is the most underused skill in our society today. Not just in marriages and parenthood, but life in general. People don't listen to what others are saying, they just wait for their turn to talk.
It is essential that you listen to your wife and kids. Listen to and understand their needs, their concerns, their fears, their joys, and their annoyances. You'd be amazed at how much easier your life and relationships can be if you take 5 minutes to really listen to and understand the people around you.
Also, never stop working on this.
Missing the ball game won't kill you.
Dude, I get it. It's been a long day, you're tired and you just want to sit back with a beer and watch some football. Or baseball. Or basketball. Or mud wrestling. It doesn't really matter. The point is that you just want to check out and relax for a while.
Here's the thing, though. Your kids adore you. It's a miracle and makes no sense, but no matter what you do, you are your children's hero. And they're dying to play with you or show you what they drew or tell you about the smelly kid in their class. They need some of your time. And, before you know it, they'll be too busy with their own lives to idolize you like this. They'll have their own lives and own interests and you'll be dying for their time but they just want to check out and listen to the new Deathmole album.
Time is a non-renewable resource. You'll never get another shot at spending today with your family, so carpe the fuck out of that diem.
Learn to appreciate cartoons
There will be days when your kids will want nothing more than to just sit on your lap, check out, and watch cartoons. Find the good ones, your sanity will thank you. And your kids will thank you when you're actually able to sit through that crap.
I'm a big fan of Phineas and Ferb, I can watch that all day. Ruby from Max and Ruby and Peppa from Peppa Pig make me crave pork and rabbit stew. The Wonder Pets creep me out. Batman: The Brave and The Bold is a godsend.
Choose wisely.
Reconnect with your inner child
Kids have the best games. Do not be so caught up with being an adult that you can't enjoy this.
Tell them embellished versions of the Three Little Pigs. Make up an entirely new story. Build a Lego diorama of the Battle at Helm's Deep. Draw silly pictures of your annoying boss. Try to explain how George Lucas could make such a mess out of Star Wars. Race your cardboard box cars around the house.Let your kids ride you around the house. If they're small enough, turn your laundry basket into their flying car.
Have fun. There are major health benefits, besides making your kids happy.
Let your wife sleep in once in a while.
Moms are some of the world's most sleep-deprived people. When surgical residents complain about their long hours and going days without sleep, mothers - especially mothers of newborns - laugh and call them pussies. Dads don't really get enough sleep, either, but we're able to let go at some point and trust that our kids can't get into too much trouble locked in their rooms. Moms will wake up if a floorboard creaks. In the house next door.
So, the next weekend that it is humanly possible, tell your wife to sleep in, pour the kids and yourself some cereal, snuggle up on the couch, and watch some cartoons. Your wife will be happier from sleep and you'll have picked up some quality time with your kids.
Look, all of this may not be for you. Your wife may not like sleeping in. She may be weird and enjoy changing diapers. Your kids may have reached the point where they like watching the game just as much as you. That's awesome.
But hopefully you'll have found something useful here, or - even better - maybe I inspired you to find your own method to step up your game as a husband and father.
Be The Man Your Wife Wants and Children Need
My wife has lost count of the times she's been told "Wow, I wish my husband would do that." My wife is envied, and an envied wife is a happy wife that appreciates her husband and lets him do things like attempt a freelance writing business from home because his dream is to make a living slinging words while he sits in his underwear and drinks beer.
I benefit from not being normal, is what I'm saying.
To be completely honest, I don't understand why I'm seen as unusual or a freak. I honestly don't know how I could be any other kind of husband and father than what I am - this really does seem brain-numbingly simple to me.
But everyone grows up with different value systems and different ideals about what a man should be, so I decided to lay out what is working for me, in the hopes that it could help some of you.
Take what you can use, leave the rest, your mileage may vary, choose your disclaimer. Hopefully you can use some of this and make your home-life a little easier to manage.
Forget Conformity.
Conformity for the sake of fitting in is for the weak-minded and weaker-willed. If your plans happen to follow the norm or conforming will achieve your goals, so be it. If conformity is holding you back from what you need or want? Forget. Conformity. Conformity is for sheeple. I don't wear a woolly coat and I'm not raising my boys to bleat.
Forget all the macho crap, lose the ego, and be a true partner.
Your concepts of "a woman's work" and wearing the pants in your family will get you nowhere. It's fine to have spheres of responsibility based on what your strengths, but be ready to step up and help with "her" responsibilities without restraint.
What's your alternative? Have things not get done and then fight about it?
Remember with whom you'll be spending the rest of your life and prioritize accordingly.
These first three really tie together. A lot of you will receive push-back from your friends and possibly even other husbands. You may be called whipped. You may be teased for going home to spend time with your kids instead of going to the bar and watching the game with your buddies. Other husbands may complain that you make them look bad.
To hell with them.
You are not married to your friends. Hopefully, at least one or two will still visit you when you're incontinent, but you don't go home to them every night. You will not grow old beside your friends. Your friends will not pick your nursing home or buy you Fathers' Day gifts. Your friends will not take care of you when you're sick.
And, to be frank (why stop now?), if other husbands aren't willing to step up their game, that's on them. Why make their problems your problem?
Change some diapers, especially the ones with a "surprise."
This ties into the first rule, but really deserves a spot of its own since my wife has shown more appreciation for this than almost anything else I do, ever.
I'm not really bothered by a diaper full of poop, and I'm even less bothered after five years of diaper changes, but nobody actually likes the (literal) crap job. I change 95 percent of the poopy diapers in our house, but you don't have to go that far. Taking one for the team even a third of the time will garner much appreciation from your wife.
Learn to cook.
Like changing diapers, you don't have to do this all the time. Just knowing that asking you to make dinner is an option will make your partner's life easier. When I stayed home with the boys, I cooked most meals. Now that we both work, my wife cooks more often than not. But she loves being able to ask me to make dinner or even just do all the prep work if it's needed.
Very little real work, major benefits.
LISTEN.
This is the most underused skill in our society today. Not just in marriages and parenthood, but life in general. People don't listen to what others are saying, they just wait for their turn to talk.
It is essential that you listen to your wife and kids. Listen to and understand their needs, their concerns, their fears, their joys, and their annoyances. You'd be amazed at how much easier your life and relationships can be if you take 5 minutes to really listen to and understand the people around you.
Also, never stop working on this.
Missing the ball game won't kill you.
Dude, I get it. It's been a long day, you're tired and you just want to sit back with a beer and watch some football. Or baseball. Or basketball. Or mud wrestling. It doesn't really matter. The point is that you just want to check out and relax for a while.
Here's the thing, though. Your kids adore you. It's a miracle and makes no sense, but no matter what you do, you are your children's hero. And they're dying to play with you or show you what they drew or tell you about the smelly kid in their class. They need some of your time. And, before you know it, they'll be too busy with their own lives to idolize you like this. They'll have their own lives and own interests and you'll be dying for their time but they just want to check out and listen to the new Deathmole album.
Time is a non-renewable resource. You'll never get another shot at spending today with your family, so carpe the fuck out of that diem.
Learn to appreciate cartoons
There will be days when your kids will want nothing more than to just sit on your lap, check out, and watch cartoons. Find the good ones, your sanity will thank you. And your kids will thank you when you're actually able to sit through that crap.
I'm a big fan of Phineas and Ferb, I can watch that all day. Ruby from Max and Ruby and Peppa from Peppa Pig make me crave pork and rabbit stew. The Wonder Pets creep me out. Batman: The Brave and The Bold is a godsend.
Choose wisely.
Reconnect with your inner child
Kids have the best games. Do not be so caught up with being an adult that you can't enjoy this.
Tell them embellished versions of the Three Little Pigs. Make up an entirely new story. Build a Lego diorama of the Battle at Helm's Deep. Draw silly pictures of your annoying boss. Try to explain how George Lucas could make such a mess out of Star Wars. Race your cardboard box cars around the house.Let your kids ride you around the house. If they're small enough, turn your laundry basket into their flying car.
Have fun. There are major health benefits, besides making your kids happy.
Let your wife sleep in once in a while.
Moms are some of the world's most sleep-deprived people. When surgical residents complain about their long hours and going days without sleep, mothers - especially mothers of newborns - laugh and call them pussies. Dads don't really get enough sleep, either, but we're able to let go at some point and trust that our kids can't get into too much trouble locked in their rooms. Moms will wake up if a floorboard creaks. In the house next door.
So, the next weekend that it is humanly possible, tell your wife to sleep in, pour the kids and yourself some cereal, snuggle up on the couch, and watch some cartoons. Your wife will be happier from sleep and you'll have picked up some quality time with your kids.
Look, all of this may not be for you. Your wife may not like sleeping in. She may be weird and enjoy changing diapers. Your kids may have reached the point where they like watching the game just as much as you. That's awesome.
But hopefully you'll have found something useful here, or - even better - maybe I inspired you to find your own method to step up your game as a husband and father.
Friday, October 7, 2011
12 Dad Blogs That You Should Be Reading
There are some amazing Dad Blogs out there (and a few wonderful Dads who Blog, too) and I am guessing that you probably aren't acquainted with them. For some reason, being a Mom Blogger (even if you hate the term) is hot, but being a Dad Blogger is just a totally overlooked blogoverse category. And I don't get it AT ALL. Who better than a dad to help us understand our husbands, the fathers in our lives, and their thoughts on parenting and life in general?
The men listed below write wonderful, thoughtful, often hilarious blogs that cover everything you could ever imagine. I am so happy to have become blog friends with them and excited to introduce them to you.
1. Richard Monroe writes The Butterbottom Blog, "the blog that is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." He writes posts about the absurdities and humor of life as a husband and father. The word "lovely" comes to mind, but is that a masculine enough description for a Daddy Blog? Well, it's a lovely blog.
2. Barry Silver is my first Dad who blogs (but not a Dad Blogger). A Life Lived Well Concludes With A Smile records "life's small moments that create life's lasting memories." With posts on everything from family to technology, entertainment to life in general, A Life Well Lived provides the prefect mash-up of everything you ever needed to read.
3. John Willey is the author of Daddy's In Charge? and one of this year's Parents.com Best Dad Blog Award Nominees. I love his Lego movies (starring everyone from Chuck Norris to Spiderman) which record his singular views on fatherhood. Read the bittersweet My Son is a Swinger to appreciate those days when your kids are dependent on you, especially if you have days like me where you wish they could do their own laundry and cook for themselves.
4. Ben Moffat is The Angry Scot, a Scotsman living with his family in Sweden. The Angry Scot is his place to write and rant about life, parenting, and all of the exploits that come with them. Ben is incredibly opinionated and not afraid to let everyone know (sort of like my Scotch-American hubs).
5. Justin Mannato's Daddy Knows Less is listed as Circle of Moms #12 Best Dad Blog. His post about Ikea (a store which I am DYING to shop at), "To Hell and Back" is an absolute must read. Absolutely hilarious and really showed me how my husband feels on our shopping forays!
6. Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow, is another blog author who writes about a wonderfully varied mix of parenting topics. Check out It's Okay to Hate Being a Parent. . . Occasionally. Dustin will be one of the dads guest posting over the next few weeks, so look out for him.
7. Todd Howard's LessonMinder.com is an invaluable resource for homeschooling parents and any parent who wishes to help further educate their child. He has a real passion for teaching our children, and his website shows it. The blog is an adjunct to Todd's educational organizational tool available online.
8. Edward Staples, Jr. of FatherEd is a Christian father who writes insightful articles about child rearing. He has an evident love for his children and you can tell from his posts that he is intentionally raising them with honor and dignity. Oh, and his youngest is a William, too, and both are darn cute!
9. Matthew Peregoy of The Real Matt Daddy is funny, funny, funny. Did I mention that this blog is hilarious? Really, you've got to read his recent post on how to get a toddler to sit still. Where was he when William was 1? Also nominated for Parents.com Best Daddy Blogger of the year.
10. Alex Walsh of Daddacool can explain himself best: "What's there to say really? I am a father to two small children who haven't yet pushed me past the point where my sanity disintegrates and I turn into a gibbering wreck but that can only be just round the corner." Listed at #8 on Cision's list of Top UK Daddy Blogs; Alex has also been published in my go to English news source, The Guardian.
11. Derek Markham writes Natural Papa, Treehugger's 2010 Best Health and Wellness website. This site goes beyond most eco-parenting sites which seem to be geared toward eco-deals by tackling topics such as home birth, parenting, and eco-living in an amazingly insightful fashion.
12. Zach Rosenberg is one of the Editors of 8BitDad: Paternity in Pixels, has appeared on radio on His Side with Glenn Sacks and written for publications such as Filter Magazine and The Los Angeles Sentinel. This wonderful blog brings together soundbites geared toward everyman about fathering, parenting, and being a man from all over the internet. Often absurd, usually hilarious, always entertaining, this blog is worth a bit of your time.
The men listed below write wonderful, thoughtful, often hilarious blogs that cover everything you could ever imagine. I am so happy to have become blog friends with them and excited to introduce them to you.
Richard Monroe and Barry Silver
1. Richard Monroe writes The Butterbottom Blog, "the blog that is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." He writes posts about the absurdities and humor of life as a husband and father. The word "lovely" comes to mind, but is that a masculine enough description for a Daddy Blog? Well, it's a lovely blog.
2. Barry Silver is my first Dad who blogs (but not a Dad Blogger). A Life Lived Well Concludes With A Smile records "life's small moments that create life's lasting memories." With posts on everything from family to technology, entertainment to life in general, A Life Well Lived provides the prefect mash-up of everything you ever needed to read.
John Willey and Ben Moffat
3. John Willey is the author of Daddy's In Charge? and one of this year's Parents.com Best Dad Blog Award Nominees. I love his Lego movies (starring everyone from Chuck Norris to Spiderman) which record his singular views on fatherhood. Read the bittersweet My Son is a Swinger to appreciate those days when your kids are dependent on you, especially if you have days like me where you wish they could do their own laundry and cook for themselves.
4. Ben Moffat is The Angry Scot, a Scotsman living with his family in Sweden. The Angry Scot is his place to write and rant about life, parenting, and all of the exploits that come with them. Ben is incredibly opinionated and not afraid to let everyone know (sort of like my Scotch-American hubs).
Justin Mannato and Dustin Christian
5. Justin Mannato's Daddy Knows Less is listed as Circle of Moms #12 Best Dad Blog. His post about Ikea (a store which I am DYING to shop at), "To Hell and Back" is an absolute must read. Absolutely hilarious and really showed me how my husband feels on our shopping forays!
6. Dustin Christian, author of Daddy Geek: Raising the Dungeonmasters of Tomorrow, is another blog author who writes about a wonderfully varied mix of parenting topics. Check out It's Okay to Hate Being a Parent. . . Occasionally. Dustin will be one of the dads guest posting over the next few weeks, so look out for him.
Todd Howard and Edward Staples, Jr.
7. Todd Howard's LessonMinder.com is an invaluable resource for homeschooling parents and any parent who wishes to help further educate their child. He has a real passion for teaching our children, and his website shows it. The blog is an adjunct to Todd's educational organizational tool available online.
8. Edward Staples, Jr. of FatherEd is a Christian father who writes insightful articles about child rearing. He has an evident love for his children and you can tell from his posts that he is intentionally raising them with honor and dignity. Oh, and his youngest is a William, too, and both are darn cute!
Matthew Peregoy and Alex Walsh
9. Matthew Peregoy of The Real Matt Daddy is funny, funny, funny. Did I mention that this blog is hilarious? Really, you've got to read his recent post on how to get a toddler to sit still. Where was he when William was 1? Also nominated for Parents.com Best Daddy Blogger of the year.
10. Alex Walsh of Daddacool can explain himself best: "What's there to say really? I am a father to two small children who haven't yet pushed me past the point where my sanity disintegrates and I turn into a gibbering wreck but that can only be just round the corner." Listed at #8 on Cision's list of Top UK Daddy Blogs; Alex has also been published in my go to English news source, The Guardian.
Derek Markham and Zach Rosenberg
11. Derek Markham writes Natural Papa, Treehugger's 2010 Best Health and Wellness website. This site goes beyond most eco-parenting sites which seem to be geared toward eco-deals by tackling topics such as home birth, parenting, and eco-living in an amazingly insightful fashion.
12. Zach Rosenberg is one of the Editors of 8BitDad: Paternity in Pixels, has appeared on radio on His Side with Glenn Sacks and written for publications such as Filter Magazine and The Los Angeles Sentinel. This wonderful blog brings together soundbites geared toward everyman about fathering, parenting, and being a man from all over the internet. Often absurd, usually hilarious, always entertaining, this blog is worth a bit of your time.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Dad Days - Your Posts Needed
If you are a dad blogger (or a dad who blogs) who I've not yet met and would like to contribute to the blog, you can contact me on twitter @erinswallace or email me your post idea to ktcwmom@gmail.com. If you are a woman who would like to talk about the father figures in your life you may do the same. I'm excited about these next few weeks and hope to have you all along for the journey.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
My Baby is a Pre-Schooler
Life moves much too quickly. My little 5 pound baby is starting pre-school today. Okay. I don't think I can type any more as I'm getting misty. Have a good day at school, my William.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
When 3-5's Sing, Hilarity Ensues
This is the first time our 3-5 class has ever sang for the church. We have a few physical comedians in the making, it seems. Will is the second from the left.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Slime and Play-Doh recipes, Oh My!
So in continuation of Martin King's recollection of the slimy, icky things we loved as kids, I thought I'd tell you how to make Slime and Play-Doh at home. They really are easy to make, and the kids will LOVE them.
SLIME!
You will need:
A 4-oz bottle of Elmer's gel glue
Borax
water
food coloring
glitter is optional
1. Take half a cup of hot water and add borax slowly until it stops dissolving. If it's cloudy, that's okay.
2. Stir 4 ounces of glue into 1 cup of water. Gel glue creates see through slime, white glue will create opaque slime.
3. Add food coloring to the glue solution. Get creative! Add glitter for "princess" slime. Radioactive slime is produced by using 2 drops of yellow and 1 drop of green food coloring.
4. Mix 1/3 cup borax solution with 1 cup glue solution. If you want to make bigger batches, just combine the two solutions in a ratio of 1 part borax solution to 3 parts glue solution.
5. Get Slimy!!
Play-Doh Madness!
You will need:
2 cups flour
2 cups warm water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
food coloring
1. Mix all of the ingredients together and stir over low heat until it is no longer sticky and thickens.
2. Let the mixture cool until it is safe enough to handle.
3. Turn the dough out onto a clean counter or non-stick mat and knead until the dough is smooth.
4. Separate into a few smaller batches.
5. Add food coloring by making a divot in the center of each ball and kneading the color through (similar to adding eggs into homemade noodles). Keep adding dye until you get the intensity of color that you want.
6. Make something cool!
Store both the Slime and Play-Doh in air-tight plastic bags.
Sticky: Martin King's #100BlogFest
I am thrilled to be part of Martin King's #100BlogFest: 100 blogs, 100 posts. All of his posts have focused on childhood memories and today's is one that I am more than familiar with, as we had gobs of ooey, gooey, messy stuff to play with as children. I won't keep you waiting, the man of the hour, here's Martin King!
Sticky
Sticky, gloopy, slimy, messy and silly. Do you know what I am talking about? These are just a few of the words to describe today’s memories.
We are talking about those fun substances that every kid loved to play with and without further ado, we begin with Slime. It started off as a shocking bogey coloured green and you would have running out of your nose or put in your hair. In fact you would put anywhere that no other substance would dare to go. The only problem with it was it got dirty and didn’t look like fun anymore.
Then there was Silly Putty and I’m pretty certain it came in a plastic egg. It was fun for a bit, but then it lost its kudos pretty quickly.
And then there was the pretender to the thorn, Playdo. It came in lots of funky colours and an array of fun toys to play with like the barbershop machine and you could make someone’s hair grow and then chop it off again. There was also a recipe for making your own which was great, but it smelt like salty food stuff.
But the king of messy stuff had to be Plastecine. It came in lots of different coloured strips and you could make just about anything out of it. They even made a cartoon character called Morph out of the stuff. We would play with it for hours, totally unaware that half of it had got stuck in the carpet. But it didn’t matter how hard you tried, all the colours would end up mixing together and you would end up with one big lump of it in brown.
These blogs are all about fun and sharing. Thank you for reading a ‘#100blogfest’ blog. Please follow this link to find the next blog in the series: http://martinkingauthor.com/blog/7094550076
Thursday, July 14, 2011
My belly
The other day I was standing in front of William as he was sitting, facing me, on the bed. "Mommy," he said, putting his hands on both sides of my belly, "your belly is amazing." He was smiling and looked totally blissed out.
"Mommy's trying to make her belly smaller." It was a reflex reaction. Something I think about every time I put food in my mouth or look at a menu.
"NO, no, no, no, no, no, no mommy!!!!" He cried. "Mommy, it is amazing! I love your belly." Then he lifted up my shirt and kissed it.
How often do we stand in front of the mirror tearing ourselves apart. How often do we think I'm too fat, have too much acne, I hate my wrinkles, if only . . Our spouses tell us that they love us no matter what - but they know that they have to say that, so our thoughts go, so it doesn't really count. Our teenagers tell us that we look wonderful when we are dressed up, but they don't want to hurt our feelings, do they? But a four-year-old's thoughts are pure. They haven't learned what they are supposed to say, they just say what they feel. What William taught me is that while I may be unhappy with some superficial thing, those around me, those that love me, they love me for me, belly and all.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
He Loves His Cars
Here are some photos that I took this winter of Will playing with his cars. For some reason, I just love taking pictures of his little feet.
Friday, December 24, 2010
William's Eyes
It is early in the morning. William and Tim are asleep beside me. breathing heavily, like sleeping people do. Will just kicked the covers off, his lovely swan legs stretching. A load of firewood has been delivered. Winter fires are guaranteed; the cats will have a place to congregate.
Tomorrow is Christmas. Having an almost 4 year old gives one a chance to see Christmas through the eyes of a child again. "Where Santa?" is the question of the hour. Explanations of baby Jesus, who grew to love everyone, are ever so important. The excitement of seeing a Christmas tree is fresh again. And tomorrow morning - what sort of spectacle will is hold, after Santa has visited and the room is festooned with presents and magic?
William's eyes have been big, full of wonder this holiday season. What sort of time of year is this, when houses sport magical lights and people walk around with smiles on their faces? When the world becomes a fairy land of snow and ice? When candy and cookies abound, the house becomes full of visitors, warmth, and love?
May you once again see this brilliant season through the eyes of a child and fell it with the heart of The One.
Merry Christmas.
Monday, November 29, 2010
I'm Grateful: Healthy Children
Working as a doctor I learned all of the things that can happen to children. Illness that comes out of nowhere, genetic disorders that cause lifetime issues, psychological conditions that can tear families apart.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
August Break: Nothing Like a Sleeping Baby
Will sleeps with us. When he was around 2-1/2 years old, Tim started falling asleep in the bed with him. I would be up working all hours of the night and he would fall asleep with the baby. And a co-sleeper was born. And a year later he's still there. I will admit that I love waking up and seeing him there. And that's where I'm going to leave it. Hopefully when he's in high school he'll sleep in his own bed!
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