My Birth Story featured on The Spit-Up Chronicles <3

Please join me today over at The Spit-Up Chronicles as I share the story of William's birth (spoiler alert: he was a preemie and I turn into a pacing she-wolf.) Go to The Spit-Up Chronicles to read the whole story.

xo Erin

When Your Genius Has a Learning Delay

We all think our children are geniuses, and I am relatively certain that William is a smarty. He can count to thirty, knew his ABCs when he was two (because some nights I sang him to sleep with them), pretend reads, engages in imaginary play with and without friends - all 4-year-old milestones that he should have met. And yet he is in speech therapy (which doesn't bother me too much; all children progress at their own rate). What does bother me is that when his language skills were tested, the result was that he only understands 75% of what is said to him. He doesn't know how to respond to "why', "what", and "how" questions. I asked him the other day to tell me what the word "understand" means and he told me a story about the cat on the kitchen chair. I can't tell you how many times I've told him to do something, asked him if he understands, he says "yes." And I go my merry way. Then the task doesn't get done, I ask him why, and he stares at me blankly. I took this all as defiance. But he just doesn't get it.

Which, of course, makes me feel like a horrible, mean mom. How could I be so insensitive to my lovey boy? I picked up on the speech delay early, but how could I have not figured out that he didn't get what I was saying to him? We mom's are champions of making ourselves feel terrible when we learn that our conceptions about our kids were all wrong. If we don't understand our kids, what kind of parent could we possibly be but a bad one?

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So all weekend I've repeating this mantra:"you are not perfect, give yourself a break." and "You are a good mom" (which I should have down!) He will have his speech goals revised and I will learn how to help him, he'll be prepared for kindergarten, and then take over the world (if I ever let him move out of the house, but that's a whole new post.)

You are a good mom

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I don't know about you, but as a blogger I read a lot of gorgeous blogs by supermamas. And they really are supermamas with absolutely no pretense, doing an amazing job raising, loving, and (or maybe not) homeschooling their kids. It can make a mom feel less than adequate. Let's review.

William would like to eat this for every meal (and when it's not this, it's toaster waffles or macaroni and cheese):

Supermama's somehow get their toddlers to eat this:

The supermama's way of raising children consists of:

* super-organized learning environments with children who know what a dodecahedron is at 3.

* children who break out in the praise songs of Michael W. Smith, not "Disco Stick" by Lady Gaga.

* Children who don't steal toys from playmates (and actually know and practice the meaning of the word "share"), and never think of bashing said playmate over the head with said unstolen toy.

* Mom's either model head to toe organic, zero-carbon-footprint wardrobe and have dewy skin from make-at-home-with-veggies-from-the-garden facial products and blissed out countenance (while being key members of the "cool moms" clique)

OR

Model stellar thinness, athletic ability, perfectly in place hair and make-up, and amazing clothing put-togetheredness (while being key members of the "cool moms" clique)

* Mom attends every PTA meeting, raises thousands in the Yankee Candle sale, and still has time to previously pictured create delicious, homemade, healthy meal while coif is perfect and clothing is super put-togethered. Oh, and all the laundry is done!

In this laundry room

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NOT this one!

* Toddlers don't fall on the ground in a kicking tantrum and run for the hills (or behind the couch) at the mention of the word "potty."

* The answer to every request, question, or sentence isn't "NO!!!!" Followed by running and hiding behind the couch.

* Oh, and they definitely have never sat on the cat for fun. Repeatedly.

Do you love your children and do they know it? Are you consciously trying to teach them how to be good, kind, moral individuals? Do you read and play with them, sing to them, pay attention and help when they need it? Have you kept them from dismembering an arm or leg, or from falling from high places (and from climbing onto said high places), or otherwise injuring themselves or others on a continual basis (unforeseen injuries, fluke accidents, and occasional toddler fights notwithstanding)?

Most importantly, when they look at you, can you feel the love that they have for you?

If you can answer yes to these questions, pat yourself on the back. You are a good mother.

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On those days when you want to drive out into the country and push your children out of the car and speed away, go look in the mirror and say to yourself "You are a good mother."

When your teenager uses cuss words that you didn't even know existed to describe how she feels about you at that moment, remind yourself, "You are a good mother."

When your house looks as if a cyclone went through it, the dishes are piled to the ceiling, and your perfectionist mother-in-law unexpectedly shows up, take a deep breath and remind yourself that You are a good mother.

When you have to explain to the doctor that your child really DID get that black eye by stepping on the end of a rake, stare her back in her naturally suspicious eyes and say out loud, "You know what? I am a good mother!"

Because you know what? You are.

Release the Child Within

Think about yourself as a child. What type of kid were you? Always running, jumping, laughing, making a game out of everything? Were you mellow, loved to read, inquisitive about the world? Perhaps you lived in a world of make-believe, where you were the princess or the Indian or the rock star. Maybe you were a bit of all of this, with a little goofy thrown in. Where did that child go? My guess is she lives somewhere inside of you right now.

When was the last time that you tried to use a hula hoop? That you spun around until you were dizzy? A child can take something like a parachute and thrill over standing under it all day long.

What happened to your inner goof? Your silly child within? Is she still there bursting to get out, or does she let herself shine?

Where's that kid that was going to be a superhero or a rock star? Where's the dreams and the wishes, the desires? What do you wish for now?

Children have unending wonder about the world around them. The joy of discovery is paramount. Have you ever seen your toddler's eyes when they learned how to stand or crawl - that overwhelming happiness? When was the last time you looked at the world with the wonder of a child? The world is an incredibly wonderful place to be.

Children can take any opportunity to play, imagine, find something new to accomplish, to make new friends, to Have Fun. The world is a playground that they are using in new ways every day. They haven't figured out yet that they aren't artists, private eyes, basketball stars, ballerinas. Not enough people have convinced them otherwise yet. They dream of being archaeologists and veterinarians in their free time. They haven't figured out that the world is a little too complicated and busy for that yet. They are unflappable dreamers. What are the dreams that you have given up on? Could these dreams, perhaps with a little prodding, still come true?

Take some time today to play with your kids. Don't take them to the playground and watch them slide, get on the slide with them. Let them lead the play, discover the world through their eyes. Have a tea party with your daughter, an unrushed, carve time out of your day for it tea party. Pretend you are the Queen or a Duchess. Play the way that your child plays. Not only will you discover more about your child's dreams and imagination, you may just release that child within who has been dying to get out.

Similar prints erinjane illustrations, $16, Etsy

All photos, except where noted, We Heart It

Mindful Mothering

Threading Light is hosting a workshop on Mindful Mothering starting June 21 and lasting one week. The brilliant ladies of Threading light recognize that it is difficult to dedicate ourselves and our souls in mothering with all of the internal and external influences in our worlds. To that end, they will be hosting meditations and other opportunities to help us discover what it means to mother mindfully.

If you are interested, sign-ups are currently taking place and the workshop is free. Just go to Threading Light and sign up.