Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When Your Genius Has a Learning Delay

We all think our children are geniuses, and I am relatively certain that William is a smarty. He can count to thirty, knew his ABCs when he was two (because some nights I sang him to sleep with them), pretend reads, engages in imaginary play with and without friends - all 4-year-old milestones that he should have met. And yet he is in speech therapy (which doesn't bother me too much; all children progress at their own rate). What does bother me is that when his language skills were tested, the result was that he only understands 75% of what is said to him. He doesn't know how to respond to "why', "what", and "how" questions. I asked him the other day to tell me what the word "understand" means and he told me a story about the cat on the kitchen chair. I can't tell you how many times I've told him to do something, asked him if he understands, he says "yes." And I go my merry way. Then the task doesn't get done, I ask him why, and he stares at me blankly. I took this all as defiance. But he just doesn't get it.

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Which, of course, makes me feel like a horrible, mean mom. How could I be so insensitive to my lovey boy? I picked up on the speech delay early, but how could I have not figured out that he didn't get what I was saying to him? We mom's are champions of making ourselves feel terrible when we learn that our conceptions about our kids were all wrong. If we don't understand our kids, what kind of parent could we possibly be but a bad one?

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So all weekend I've repeating this mantra:"you are not perfect, give yourself a break." and "You are a good mom" (which I should have down!) He will have his speech goals revised and I will learn how to help him, he'll be prepared for kindergarten, and then take over the world (if I ever let him move out of the house, but that's a whole new post.)

11 comments:

Lois Evensen said...

Parenting styles differ and all children learn at different paces. Not to worry. :)

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh Erin, I've had years to live what you are living... My 3 sons are all in their 40's now---and yet they are still my little sweetie pies...

Parenting is never easy... I got pretty lucky with it since we made it through with no major health, mental or academic problems. BUT--there were always times that I would second-guess myself on the decisions I made.... We all do!!!!

AND--these days I think it is even harder since they push kids so quickly and won't give them time just to play and grow up slowly...

Good Luck... I'm sure your Little Guy will be GREAT... Just keep loving him and listening to him..
Hugs,
Betsy

LaVonne @ Long Wait said...

Thank you, Erin for posting this. I appreciate it.

Keep it up, you are a great mom.

Blessings to you and your very smart son!

LaVonne @ Long Wait For Isabella

Good Girl Gone Green said...

Yes you are a good mom! And PS-your little one is too cute holding the alphabet! Happy fun Tuesday!
Stephanie~

Mandi said...

Don't beat yourself up over it, the important thing is that now you know! :) He looks like such a little sweetie pie!

Following you from the Totally Tuesday Blog Hop! I hope you'll follow back. Stop by and say hi!

Mandi
boredombustingmommy.blogspot.com

Saving By The Sea said...

Following you from Our Family World GFC hop! Hope you'll follow back :) www.savingbythesea.com, Saving by the Sea on FB and @gracie680 on Twitter!

sperlygirl said...

erin, motherhood humbles us to our core, doesn't it. you area wonderful mother because you have taken the time to listen to his needs. warmly, s

Sarah said...

Well, as a mom and a speech-language pathologist, definitely don't beat yourself up. It can be easy to miss problems with comprehension because you just assume a child understands what you say, and it's not like we spend all our time testing whether they understand. Chances are in the long run it won't matter a bit what his skills were like when he was little. If he's a happy, healthy, smart little guy you have nothing to worry about- just love him and be his mom :)

TanyasTreasureTrove said...

Hi! Following you from a blog hop!:0)
Hope you visit me and return the follow!


Btw if you like please join the TreasureTrove Tribune! I think you will enjoy it!:0)

OrangeHeroMama said...

just wanted to stop and send you (((hugs))). You're a great mom. Breathe.

(and on a sidenote, i just wanted to say that i noticed that you started following my blog the other day. I love it, because i've followed yours for a while now. thankyou. made me feel special.)

Marlee said...

Great mantra, you are doing the best you can do! Great blog, I'm a happy new follower :).

http://marleeindebt.blogspot.com

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