Monday, February 28, 2011

Living the Surreal Life

I've been talking a lot with Tim lately about how surreal it feels to me to be content. To not constantly be in a state of self analysis and depression. The interesting thing is that I had become so used to being in this state that feeling "normal" is anything but.

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I know I haven't talked about this much, but one day I just woke up and "POOF" I felt better. My mind was quiet. I looked around at my life and I was okay with it. My laid back hippie vibe suddenly returned. And I have no idea why or what happened - well, except for years of therapy and trying to get my psyche to cooperate - but there it was.

I won't tell you that every day is a bowl full of cherries. I still have my moments, still have self doubt, but it just sort of goes away. Dissipates away into the wind.

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So then I think about the great writers throughout history, and how the majority of the real legends were total headcases. How their angst and illness fed their writing - I understand! I have to tell you that since I've been happier I've suffered for deep writing material. I guess I'll have to be shallow for a while as I'm enjoying my newly found bliss.

19 comments:

Cinner said...

Erin, this sounds wonderful. I have suffered from depression on and off, so those pooof times are so important. I am so glad you are feeling better and better days ahead.your photos are beautiful.

JessRaquel said...

I'm glad you are in a better place though I totally agree that feeling angsty and depressed seems to inspire creative writing easier then happiness does!

Sarah said...

Good writing material or not, enjoy your happy time!

I passed a little award your way on my blog today. (But don't feel obligated. These things are everywhere.)
http://throughthewindowblog.blogspot.com

Lois Evensen said...

Ah, the glass is MORE than half full!

Hugs,
Lois

Michelle said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better. Those are lovely photos! I say yes, enjoy the lighter side of life for as long as you like.

KLo said...

I tell my students that most writers were/are completely batty. This is right after I tell them that I'm a writer. It starts the schoolyear off on an interesting note ...

But seriously, it's really kind of true. I'm glad that you're feeling better and hoping that sooner or later that translates into your writing.

Happiness, like sadness, is a great motivator :-)

Emily Joyce said...

I always feel like I write better when life is difficult. When everything goes well, it's much harder for me to think of things to write about! But people do like to read about good things too :) I really am glad that you are doing well!

Jamie said...

What a wonderful realization! I hope that state of contentment goes on and on.

sara said...

Reading this makes me very happy. I'm so glad you're feeling better. xoxo

Shanae Branham said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better! I am glad I stopped by today.

Tricia at Mom is the Only Girl said...

Thanks for stopping by Mom is the Only Girl and thus causing me to stop by today to read this! Your pics are so calming, and I'm happy you're in a 'place' after "poof"! Imagine if there was just the "poof"! Seriously, it's OK to have shallow for a while if it's happy!

Char said...

i wonder sometimes why we want to read about the struggle...unless of course we are struggling and it helps to know we are not alone.

and i suppose, that in being content we are not out seeking so much about what to do because we have found it (so to speak)...

but...content is a wonderful thing and i celebrate it with you.

Tami Marie said...

Hi there,
I am your newest follower from the blog hops. Loving the look of your blog; I shall enjoy visiting often. I would love if you came by and visited/followed me when you get a moment. Thanks so much.

http://www.thethingswefindinside.com/
~Tami Marie~

Laurie said...

It's always so nice to be free from the drama, isn't it? I hope your peace lasts forever and triggers new and different waves of creativity.

lila Braga said...

been there too! keep your head high and your eyes on the bright side of life girl!
you will be okay!
hugs
lika

lighttraveler said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better. Life gets better as you get older.
Thanks for following!
I am your newest follower.
Quick Tattletails
Quick Tattletails Blog Hop Directory
:)

Denise | Chez Danisse said...

And it looks like a good place to be. Enjoy.

MOMSWEB said...

Writing is definitely emotionally driven for me. Oh how I wish I could write what I'm REALLY feeling sometimes! LOL!
Glad I dropped by today! Enjoy your day.

Jennifer Sirois said...

I can empathize. I've struggled with depression since time out of mind and those periods of calm are *so* surreal. It's almost like the colors are distorted. As a creative writing focused English major, I actually *feared*, to some extent, recovering from depression, or the calm periods, because of the toll it takes on writing. Now, having been in a healthy place for about a year now, I'm adjusted and can say earnestly that this calm is wonderful and certainly changed my "voice" but hasn't quieted it. With time, your voice will re-emerge with vibrancy and life.

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