Sunday, October 17, 2010

Discombobulated

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Discombobulated verb (used with object), to confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate: The speaker was
completely discombobulated by the hecklers.

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I went from a scheduled, planned out month to a totally unplanned, and, um . . . what's a schedule? week and it's been a confusing experience. I learned that I do much better with a well thought out schedule, and so I'm going to sit down tonight and go all Super Nanny and make out a daily schedule for me. I don't have set writing time, which isn't the best when you are trying to go freelance, and everything else sort of happens at the same time every day, but sometimes not.

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Life is treating me okay; the kids are doing well, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with them, and my mood is much more stable. I still fight all of those unreasonable thoughts: "You don't do anything right," "It's your job and yours alone to keep this house immaculate," "You should be able to be a wonder woman and so it all without ever getting tired." I'm dealing with some new stuff that I realized in PHP, too, like the fact that my defense mechanism is to hide, and so I've been making a conscious effort not to do this. Breaking old patterns and thoughts is difficult work, I tell you. And quite discombobulating.

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I spent most of my day at Barnes & Noble, taking me time (another thing I'm not very familiar with) and read and read. Picked up the newest Artful Blogging and am thrilled for all of my blogging friends who have been featured this month - I still have to read it though - something fabulous to look forward to. Read a lot about writing inspiration, knitting, and tried to find a cool motorcycle magazine for the hubs, but left empty handed.

Me time definitely needs to be scheduled. So off to schedule (or, more likely, to read Artful Blogging!).

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The photos are of the Warren G. Harding Memorial, the tomb where he and his wife are buried. It is quite beautiful and worth visiting if you ever find yourself in Marion, OH.

11 comments:

ephemerette said...

Lovely photo's, such a nice range of textures from the marble. Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit out of sorts at the moment - you're right it is hard to fight off negative thoughts- I've been doing a lot of that myself recently too. No one's invinsible, just have to keep reminding yourself it's ok to be imperfect and actually you're probably doing a lot better than lots of other people. x

Shammy said...

Nice to find you too! thanks for the comment, will now be following your blog as well! Shammy xx

Lois Evensen said...

Ah, yes, organization. Writing things down, making lists, doing the most important, crossing off what is finished, and moving the rest on to another day. I got my degree that way, my professional letters behind my name, raised three kids, ran my business, taught college students who sometimes didn't want to learn at that point in their lives, and now divide each year in pieces to function in different parts of the world while "being there" with my husband who works in a very demanding profession. Organization keeps me centered. I'm happy.

My mother used that word "discombobulated." I like it. She would smile while trying to accomplish several things at once and say, "Oh, I'm all discombobulated here! I'll start over!" And she would. And she would accomplish it all - eventually.

Your journey continues, Erin. You do much better at it than you sometimes allow yourself to realize. You are must stronger than you sometimes realize.

Hugs,
Lois

d. said...

oh yes! me time has to be scheduled! my plans and schedules are mostly too long, too strong, too much (always trying to be perfect) and there isnt much me time. i am trying to do less things a day and to remind me that every day only has 24 hours. and as you say: it is so hard to break the patterns! i am still trying. much love, d.

Jen said...

I do much better with a schedule, too, and need to schedule out writing/blogging time better.

Isn't it hard when we realize things about ourselves that have been unconscious patterns? I've recently realized some things and it's so hard to break the cycle!

Ashley J. said...

I'm so happy for you that you're learning to not have so much of a schedule. Just from reading, I can tell you are a great mom, and just look at all the neat things you accomplish! I think you're doing a great job!

Char said...

gorgeous marble isn't it?

glad that you have a plan - when i feel out of sorts i make a list too.

Missy @ My Life Ain't Always Beautiful said...

oh wow those are beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

sara said...

Love the pics...as always.

I find I'm better with a schedule too. Otherwise I find the time flying away and not getting anything done.

Emily Joyce said...

I've lately been realizing how much I allow myself to think negative thoughts, and the effect it's having on me. I'm finding it very difficult to change also.

Lovely pictures, I love the contrasting textures. I love the new pictures in your post before the homecoming one (I liked those ones too) especially the grasshopper one!

Laurie said...

I, too, struggle with those evil negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations. We won't even talk about the rehashing of old traumas. Making lists and having structure helps a lot. I'm learning new little tricks every day.

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