Thursday, October 21, 2010

Taxi Driver

Yesterday was my "mom as cabdriver" day. Will goes to speech, then get chicken nuggets (the boy would live off of them if I let him), then I run home, pick up Kendall's skating gear, then pick her up from school and get her to the rink. I run after Will for an hour in the rink (I never get to see Kendall skate), and when we finally leave, Will throws a fit because he is in love with the video games there. Then I get to go home and make dinner. Except yesterday I felt like crud as I had caught Will's cold. So Tim made TV dinner panini for him and the kids.

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I remember reading somewhere that if stay at home moms actually got paid for everything they do, their income would be around $150K. That sure would be nice! I know that many of you, like us, are going through a period of financial uncertainty, so it sure would be nice to have that SAHM salary!


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Tim has always known how to live on a budget. He's always been blue collar, never had the high paying job, and really can squeeze water from a rock. I, on the other hand, lived the high life when I was a physician. Ate at the expensive restaurant, bought clothing I would never wear, and couldn't budget to save my life. My income made me totally independent from everyone. It also made me feel like a bit of a big shot and may have swelled my head a bit. Because when the income went away and I suddenly wasn't the big money kahoona, I didn't like it one little bit.

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I believe that God has put us in this place in our lives to teach me that I am not independent from Him. That he provides all. That no matter how bad the money situation gets, he has provided for us. That I have to put pride aside and accept help from his people here in earth if I want to provide. That God IS the provision, and all things come through Him.

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It took me a LONG time to get there, but I finally believe that He will provide for us. I don't worry so much when a bill that we weren't expecting comes in the mail. I know that our family will have food and a place to live, and we'll even be able to afford little extras, like Will's chicken nuggets on Wednesdays (and mommy's mocha latte to go with it). It has calmed me considerably to believe this, to know that He is carrying us. We truly have an awesome God.

8 comments:

kneesandpaws said...

Erin, for years I've struggled with anxiety over having enough, of finding a way to provide for my family financially. I once thought my insecurity was a result of having a father who grew up in poverty; there was always the knowledge that one day there might be nothing to eat. I am training myself to notice abundance. So far, every need has been provided, without me having to struggle and worry. Your post is very touching and heartfelt. Thanks for sharing it.
btw... I often have wondered why you are not practicing medicine...I guess I need to read farther back into the blog.

Myrna R. said...

Very sweet post Erin. Your faith is strong and so are you. I guess we'd all be millionaires if we got paid in money for all we do. But money, as you know, is not the only reward in life.

Take care. You're learning good lessons. Life is a school, afer all.

Georgia said...

amazing images! xxxx

Emily Joyce said...

I find that I have a really hard time trusting God in the area of money. It helps me to remember what God has done in the past. He has always provided! Thanks for this post :)

beth said...

he certainly is there....here....isn't he ?

Char said...

i wish i could quote the movie 'chariots of fire' off the top of the head but one of the things that movie taught me about the value of faith - no matter how we celebrate God. the faith to see the race to it's end. knowing that he (or she) is there is something that keeps me going most days.

Ashley J. said...

I LOVE your outlook!!! What an awesome God we do have! We went through this when we couldnt find a job, adn the idea of not having enough was so scary, BUT God ALWAYS provides. We are worth more than the sparrows.

Laurie said...

We have gone through periods of being pretty much flush with cash to periods of job losses, pay cuts, and now being a one-income family. Through it all, we've always lived fairly simply and probably a little below our means, but we don't worry (much...). :-)

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