Bittersweet Life

I've written a lot about my grandpa Herb on this blog; about his Honor Flight to see the WWII Veterans Memorial, about being inducted into the Ohio Veterans Hall of Fame, and most recently about dealing with his impending death and the feelings behind that. Last Wednesday he passed away in hospice after falling and hitting his head. He was 95.

He had wanted to "go home" for a long time. My grandmother and his sisters and brothers have all died. I know he missed them, was tired of the pain from his cancer and simply being old. I think he felt a little lost in the world. He was a strong believer in Christ, very involved with the Methodist church. He was a good, sweet man and I know where he is in glory right now.

He was the last of my grandparents. My grandparents have always been important to me, so I'm feeling a bit adrift right now. It seems that the natural order of things is all askew, that life is a little too bittersweet.

I have been staring at that word, "bittersweet," and I don't know what else to say. I think I haven't fully processed all of my emotions yet and so I don't event know what I feel. Of course I miss him, and all of them, but should I feel more, or something else. I suppose, like with all things, time will reveal the answers.

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