There are times that I do not enjoy being a mother, like when I have to be the witch from Hell.
So, just as eldest daughter has learned respect, doesn't cuss us out anymore, and frankly, it fun to be around, the second son takes her place. He is, to most people and at most times, and empathetic, kind, and generous kid; however, to us, his family, he reserves bitter, angry hatred. Hatred that his life "isn't fair," that he has chores and consequences if those chores don't get done, and rage against his sister, who, quite frankly, took pleasure in torturing him only last year.
Directed toward eldest sister:
::"You're the stupidest person I know."
::"If it weren't for your skating you'd never be able to get a job."
::Various curse words, asides like "stupid" and "ugly" while passing in the hall.
Eldest sister has a severe delay in language processing. She can't spell, has difficulty reading and comprehending what she's read, and often instructions have to be repeated so that she understands them. She is also flighty and often says, quite frankly, things that she would know were ridiculous if she had just thought before she opened her mouth. If she weren't a redhead, I might think she was the reason blond jokes were invented. What I'm sharing with you here is nothing that she doesn't know; however, she struggles in a large way with her self-confidence because of it.
And the boy knows this. He is skilled at turning the blade Just So.
I am, of course, the mom he loves but I am also the witch from Hell who puts up with none of his nonsense.
::He gets away with NO poor behavior.
::He has has everything in his room taken away for a time when his grades fell because he refused to study (he has been tested for EVERYTHING, his IQ is high average, he's gone the Huntington route, he just has no desire to do well in school.
::He will not be allowed to participate in Cross Country as the move from Intermediate School to Middle School here is like throwing the lambs to the wolves. No excuses anymore. No hand holding. No second chances at turning homework in. No room for deciding that Cross Country is more important than school.
:: He is allowed to play basketball if he meets eligibility standards. If not, no YMCA, no leagues, no traveling teams. Only school.
And of course, I am the most misunderstanding, meanest, and totally unreasonable mother in the world because of this.
Is this how it works? Do you just go through one-hormonally challenged kid to the next until they all leave the house? What do you do when you can see your incredibly sensitive child walking down the wrong path and merely mentioning this to him destroys him for days - and, let's face it - nothing changes anyway? How do I get my spiritual, empathetic boy back? Should I change my name to Mommy Dearest?
Photos, unless noted, from We Heart It