Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Knitting Scouts Sash

Well, I've decided to clean up my sidebar a bit, but I didn't want to lose my Knitting Scouts badges! The knitting scouts are an offshoot of Cast On - if you aren't listening to Brenda Dayne yet, why, oh why, aren't you?

Anyhow, I'm doing a post for my badges; it will be my knitting scouts sash!

Welcome to the Illustrious Order of Cast On Knitting Scouts!

Wherein it is acknowledged that members are:

  • Not opposed to alcohol.
  • Into badges.
  • Mostly in agreement that there is no right way to knit.
  • Committed to diligent positive and accurate presentation of knitting and knitters, to editors, producers, directors, and those generally presumed to be part of "The Media" in an effort to close the gap of Public Knitting Literacy." (Cast On)

The "Proselytize Knitting" Badge - A requirement for all Knitting Scouts, the recipient must do his or her bit to present knitting in a positive light, whilst at the same time avoiding all references to “hipness”, grandmothers, and yoga.


The “MacGyver” Badge (Level One) - The recipient must demonstrate clever use of a non-knitting tool in a knitting-related scenario. For instance, recipient has used paper clips as stitch markers, or successfully whittled and then utilized bamboo skewers as dpns.


The “MacGyver” Badge (Level Two) - The recipient must demonstrate clever use of a knitting tool in a non-knitting-related scenario. For instance, recipient has used a strand of Regia Bamboo to slice cheese, or repaired a small appliance with a metal knitting needle.


The "Inordinately Fond of Novelty Yarn" Badge - In which the recipient professes an arguably unhealthy affinity for yarn with slubs, sparkles, spangles, fur, feathery bits, and an unconscionable proportion of man-made fibre. Recipient makes no apology for the preference.


The "I've Knit Items With No Conceivable Practical Application" Badge - Recipients are those “special” campers who have knit items which somehow missed the mark of their intended application. There are probably more who are deserving of this badge than one would expect.


The "I Will Impress You With My Math Prowess" Badge – The recipient is a whiz at substituting yarns and calculating gauge, can space increases and decreases evenly and is fully comfortable with the basic math encountered in all knitting projects.


The "I Will Crush You With My Math Prowess" Badge – The recipient has applied the principles of higher mathematics to knitting including, but not limited to hyperbolic planes, Fibonacci sequences, Klein bottles, Moebius strips, fractals and Flying Spaghetti Monster hats.

1 comment:

julochka said...

sigh. i'm afraid that although i "Proselytize Knitting" i have very recently used hip and referenced grandmothers or at least old ladies in recent attempts to evangelize the wonders of knitting. plus, all i can do is knit, i can't purl. i am, however, eligible for the "I've Knit Items With No Conceivable Practical Application" Badge because all of my previous knitting projects are still on the needles and no one knows what they are. but i really, really like yarn. but not yarn with manmade fibers, so no novelty yarn badge. isn't there a badge for people who collect lots of scrumptious yarn, but have no purpose in mind for it other than gazing at it and lovingly fingering it on occasion? that's kind of a long name, eh?

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